The Yankees thought reasonably highly of Mr. Lassiter as a prospect in 2008. They gave him a signing bonus of $675,000.
After that, Mr. Lassiter toiled for the Yanks in the bus leagues in North Carolina. He was a shortstop but, when he couldn't get his footwork right, he was moved over to third base. Apparently, that wasn't to his liking and it stuck in his craw. His best year was 2011 when he hit .274. He was released shortly afterward.
Why does this matter?
According to an amusing story in NJ.com, Mr. Lassiter claimed in a lawsuit filed against the Yankees to be the victim of a far-reaching conspiracy that prevented him from being promoted to the major league club ... a conspiracy that Mr. Lassiter maintains was fomented by none other than Derek Jeter.
Most of the detail is in the NJ.com article and it's an entertaining and worthwhile read. My favorite part was learning from this article that Mr. Lassiter attended a law school in Massachusetts that doesn't require LSAT scores in order to be admitted. Apparently, all you need to do to be able to attend is to pay their low, low tuition. Whether or not this is done by placing a check in a special slot in the back of Mr. Haney's truck requires further research. Mr. Lassiter must have skipped class the day they discussed Abraham Lincoln's observation that "A man who represents himself has a fool for a client."
It's good to see that our justice system did its job and summarily slapped away the lawsuit. Mr. Lassiter's other lawsuits against the Cincinnati Reds and an NFL wide receiver didn't work out either.
While lawsuits are fun, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that had Mr. Lassiter invested his 2008 $675,000 signing bonus in an S&P 500 index fund, he'd have just over $1,556,000 in his bank account right now.
So, I guess it's back to business. Lassiter didn't work out. The search for a Didi replacement continues.
Lassiter put his signing bonus into Lehmen Brothers stock when Jim Cramer said there was no way it wasn't coming back. Then he scraped together what money he could and bought a Chik-fil-a franchise, installing a very obviously gay manager. That didn't work out, either.
ReplyDeleteSince then, he's been filing lawsuits against anyone he can think of. Next up: a sexual harassment charge against the late Schenectady native, Billy Connors. Expect Hal as a witness and the "Kinky Boots" photo coming into play.
On a side note, this year's arbitration deadline is today. Judge, Paxton, and Sanchez.
ReplyDeleteOne deal will be reached using ice cream poundage.
I'm stealing this from something I heard years ago, but if he's living in his car, someone should take his name down for vagrancy.
ReplyDeleteIs that car down by the river? Just wondering.
ReplyDeleteOMG. I just hired a guy named Lassiter as my financial adviser. He said he was an ex ballplayer. And had a car I could use on holidays.
ReplyDeleteThere are homeless people who get away with frivolous lawsuits more well conceived than this looney.
Better make sure he doesn't own any automatic weapons.
His 2008 signing bonus returns very much depend on WHEN in 2008 he invested, if it was in January, he’s only up 134% because 2008 was a bloodbath. If he invested in December 2008, he’s up 268%. Let’s hope the prick bought a Porsche. A 2008 911 would be worth about 33% of MSRP.
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