Virtual Baseball: Abreu Abysmal But Yanks Yank Out Win! UN Intervenes in AL! The Master Goes Under the Knife!

In yet another tumultuous day and evening—is there any other kind in Virtual Baseball?—the New York Yankees rallied despite another virtually awful start from virtual prospect Albert Abreu, edging the Anaheim Angels Near Los Angeles, 9-8, in 12 innings.  

Abreu was awful, and a titanic, grand-slam home run by Mike Trout put the Celestials up by 6-2 in just the third inning.  But the Yankees rallied behind home runs by Mike Ford and The Matador, Miguel Andujar, and a two-run single by Gio Urshela tied the game in the ninth.  The winning run came on a rare squeeze bunt in the twelfth by Kyle Holder, after which Manager Ma Boone was fined the mandatory $10,000 by MLB for daring to play small ball.

Meanwhile, the decision by the Cherubim to start Dylan "Ted" Bundy tonight officially triggered a global alert.  The UN promptly declared the American League a "pitching-free zone," with all that implies, and the General Assembly was called into special session to see what could be done about this situation.  Relief in the form of additional relief pitchers and breaking-pitch instructors were among the options being weighed to keep the AL from slipping deeper into disaster.

Back in New York, meanwhile, renowned brain surgeon Dr. Olu Bogadan was flown in from Port-au-Prince to operate on beloved Yankee broadcaster John "The Master" Sterling, for his potentially fatal, cranial distance-assessment condition.  

The surgery took over seven hours, or about the time of an average major-league game this season.  Sterling is reported to be resting comfortably, but Dr. Bogadan warned that, "There's no predicting the results of brain surgery on a distance-impaired individual."