Don't touch that dial. More than ever, for a refreshing blast of normalcy, turn to John and Suzyn

On the radio, you see no empty bleachers. Nobody wears a mask. You hear the usual background soundtrack - the clapping, the chants, the walk-up music - and all is right within the Yankiverse - if not the universe overall.

Even in a blowout loss, hearing John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman call last night's game brought one of the great joys of the last six months. Last night, I caught six golden innings, and for that period of time, there was no COVID, no street protests, no economic devastation, no hurricane, nothing to fret over, aside from the thin Yankee bullpen. Today, I heartily suggest you turn off the TV and travel back in time with the most loyal and unifying voices in the Yankiverse, while we still have them. 

Some observations from last night:

1. There seems to be far fewer in-game promotions. At one point, I caught an entire half-inning without one ad - can you believe it: no, Geiko no New York Life, no Cellino & Barnes (R.I.P. and good riddance.) I cannot recall a half-inning in Yankee history without some mechanical reference to muffler repairs by the Tri-State Auto Dealers or gut bomb snacks from Little Debbie. The number of sponsors must be way down. Despite the financial implications, that's fine with me. Let's enjoy it, while it lasts.

2. John takes a dim view of the CGI fans promoted by the sports networks. He says - paraphrasing - he'll take the virtual fans seriously when they start buying hot dogs and hamburgers. Ever the realist.

3. In my six inning stint, I did not hear John use his signature chestnut: "You can't predict baseball, Suzyn." Not once. This, I believe, is the greatest quotation in history equating baseball with life. He didn't go there. 

However, in a late-inning rage rant, Suzyn defiantly stated that some outcomes are quite predictable: When Ben Heller throws a pitch right down the middle, she intoned, it's going to be hit out of the park every time. Every. Single. Time. 

I'm still shaking. Could this be her long-awaited response to The Master's theory? Could the 2020 baseball season bring forth an existential debate on the meaning of fate vs. free will? More on this, as the season progresses. 

4. John did note, late in the game, that this was only one loss, and that tomorrow, the teams would take the field in an entirely new game, and that the outcome will be different, because in baseball - unlike other sports - a different pitcher creates an entirely new game. Thank God. To have the Yankees blown out so easily, and to NOT be reminded that it's only one loss, and that there will be another game tomorrow - that would be frightening, indeed.

5. There was, of course, no WinWarble. But John's game-ending Loss Lament was especially thin and droopy. BallgameoverWashingtonwins. It was nearly a murmur. Hopefully, he won't face too many this year.