Virtual Baseball: Disaster in the Dome! Yarbrough Unfair, as Yanks are Swept, Fall Two Back!

(From HoraceClarke66, whose computer is pissing him off.)

The Tampa Bay Virtual Rays completed a stunning, three-game sweep of the Yankees at the

St. Petersburg Chernobyl Dome tonight, dropping the Yanks two games back as they reeled

out of Florida.  

After polishing off the Yanks' two best pitchers the Rays were licking their chops—or more 

accurately, as Rays, gnashing their gill plates—to face J.A. Happ in the series finale.  But Happ

actually looked more like the unflustered veteran Happ of the first half of the season, and he

got some early support from back-up catcher Kyle Higashioka, who blasted a long, two-run

homer off Tampa Bay starter Ryan Yarbrough.

Yarbrough responded by hitting the next two Yankees batters, D.J. LeMahieu and

Clint Frazier, putting them out of the game.  Neither player proved to be seriously hurt, but

home plate ump Joe West promptly warned that any pitcher on the Yanks who dared to

retaliate would be ejected from the game.  

The Yanks protested the decision, but West added that not only would they be ejected,

but also swallowed and slowly digested in West's enormous, pelican-like throat pouch.

When Happ then plunked Ji-Man Choi anyway, West carried out his threat and tossed him—

though Happ was at least nimble enough to avoid a painfully slow ingestion.

Taking Happ's place was Adam "The Man Without a Move to First" Ottavino, who seemed

rattled when Choi then stole second, third, and home against him.  Two batters later, he 

surrendered the game-winning home run to Mike "Marcel Marceau" Brosseau, who after

completing his ten-minute home run trot stood in front of the Yankees' dugout and waved

his genitals at them for another ten minutes.

A Yankee protest to MLB Imperator Rob Manfredmannandthefamilyofman proved unavailing.

"Well, that's baseball," New York manager Ma Boone said after TB reliever Aaron "Garou"

Loup closed out the Yanks for a 3-2 win, then howled in the direction of where the moon 

was for the next half-hour.  "Or more accurately, that's getting really fucked in baseball."