Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Virtual Off-Day: Rays Survive, Marlins Upset Braves. Trading Suspended on Wall Street!

The Yanks were disappointed to see the Ever-Annoying TB Rays bunt home two runs in the ninth today, as they edged out Shane Bieber and the Cleveland Napoleons, 2-1 and set up—sigh—yet another series with your New York Yankees.

 

In the National League, Derek Jeter’s feisty Marlins, meanwhile, bounced back to surprise the Braves, 5-4.

 

Elsewhere in virtual New York, though, President Trump ordered trading to stop at the New York Stock Exchange, and had the whole area sealed off as a public health risk. Few of those who had viewed the widespread projectile vomiting of the past couple days would argue with that, although many were disturbed to see soldiers accompanying doctors in hazmat suits into the Wall Street no-go zone. 

 

Ensuing reports of screams and gunshots were quickly dismissed by new government spokeswoman, Mildred Ratched.

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