Ask Polly

 

A refreshing antidote to the nattering nabobs of negativism that permeate this site.

It’s time for a little Pinstripe Pollyannaism (TM) as we open up the Ask Polly Mailbag.

 

Dear Polly,

After watching the Dodgers and Rays I’m starting to realize that the Yankees are a fundamentally flawed organization that will never be competitive enough to win another World Series before I shuffle off this mortal coil.  I spend a lot of time watching, reading, and thinking about the Yankees. Have I wasted my life?

Aging Yankee Fan

 

Dear Ageing,

Cheer up! 

It is natural for people to seek entertainment and you have chosen following sports as your primary outlet.  That’s great!

As to worrying if they will win again in your lifetime. It may seem like you are screwed but they are doing really interesting research on increasing life spans so you might not be as close to death as you think.

Unfortunately neither is Hal and he has a lot more money to spend on stem cells taken from Central American baseball players who think that regular “blood plasma” letting is an elaborate part of the drug testing protocol and is just a part of becoming a big leaguer.  

But…  Great news! Eventually he will turn the reins over to another member of the family.

According to Wikipedia,

“Hal said the family had begun discussing future plans for the family's involvement in the franchise, and that several of George's grandchildren, including Stephen Swindal Jr., George Michael Steinbrenner IV, Robert Molloy, Julia Steinbrenner Vinas (George IV's sister), and Katherine Steinbrenner (Hal's daughter), have expressed interest in running the Yankees”

So eventually there will be a new Steinbrenner at the helm and don’t worry about their ability to spend. 

And as Hal once said to George Michael, “There’s money in the banana stand”

 

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 Dear Polly,

I have done everything the Yankees have asked of me. I’ve taken demotions, been left on the bench in crucial games, cut my hair,  worked tirelessly on my fielding (gold glove nominated!) , cut down on my tweeting, and continue to hit in the clutch yet I still can’t shake the feeling that the front office is never going to give me the chance I deserve. I’m starting to get sad again. Help!

Red Thunder

 

Dear Red,

Cheer up!

The Yankees couldn’t possibly sign Brett Gardner again. Could they? I mean that would just be stupid at this point. We can all agree on that.  So, you will probably get your chance.  Part of your problem could be that for some inexplicable reason some people don’t like people with red hair. For the life of me I can’t tell you why but it’s true.  Perhaps if you dyed your hair blond or went with a nice chestnut brown you would get more starts. Either way. You will be the starting left fielder next season, unless they sign Michael Brantley, but why would they do that when they have you? I mean that would be stupid at this point. Right?

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Dear Polly,

I was heartbroken because i had very small penis, not nice to satisfy a woman, i had so many relationship called off because of my situation, i have used so many product which i found online but none could offer me the help i searched for

Austin

Dear Austin,

Cheer up!

There is a specialist called Dr OLU. You should email him on drolusolutionhome@gmail.com
and give his herbal product a try.