Virtual World Series: Hold the Phone and Bang the Drum! The Yanks Will Play Again!

In yet another virtual nail-biting fingernail gripper, the virtual New York Yankees held on at their pangolin-tainted Stadium to edge the New York Mets, 4-3, and force a virtual Game Seven.

Yankees ace Gerrit Cole was virtually valiant, pitching six shutout innings, striking out 13, and clinging to a 1-0 lead, thanks to an early home run from Aaron Judge. 

But virtual arm weariness caught up to Cole on his short-rest start in the seventh. With two outs, Brett Gardner dug into his at-bat like a pit bull, fouling off 11 pitchers before finally drawing a walk. Robbie Cano, don'tcha know, followed with a drive so far into the gap that he could jog easily into third.

The lead gone, Ma Boone threw the quick, virtual hook. But the O-Man, Adam Ottavino, was promptly devoured by the Polar Bear, Pete Alonso, who socked a long home run deep into left field. 

Down 3-1, the Mets looked to have clear sailing toward their first world championship since the days when Ronald Reagan was president, Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond still resided this side of hell, and a young man named Joe Piscopo was teaching us all to laugh again.

But after walking Gleyber Torres with two down in the eighth, Mets reliever Toonces Betances bounced a pair of wild pitches to put The Gleyber on third. He then surrendered a run-scoring single to Kyle Higashioka, filling in for Gary Sanchez, who was out with what the Yankees described as a sprained brain.

With Aroldis Chapman on the disabled list and reportedly sought by ATF agents from several states, the Yankees had their mystery reliever, listed only by the unusual moniker of Palacios Jiron, warming up in the back of the bullpen. But he never appeared, as Zack(h) Britton managed to retire the Mets, fanning Michael Conforto after Britton and Chad Green had managed to load the bases.

For the bottom of the ninth, Mets retro manager Bobby Valentine brought in closer Edwin Diaz to relieve Chasen Shreve, after fighting off attempt by his team to physically restrain him. Diaz struck out the first two batters he faced, then surrendered a triple to deep center-left by Aaron Hicks.

Two outs, a run down, and the Yanqui Man of Knowledge was at the plate, Giancarlo Stanton. Stanton had had a perfect night so far, striking out three times on exactly nine swinging strikes previously. But now, on his very first pitch, Giancarlo...laid down a perfect bunt against the shift, scoring Hicks!  

While running out his bunt, of course, Stanton tore every muscle in both legs and had to be carried off the field in agony by his teammates. But that only created an opportunity for pinchrunner Tyler Wade to steal second and third. 

Valentine ordered intentional walks to both Judge and Torres. But Gio Urshela then lifted a twisting, drifting, shifting, teasing, tantalizing pop fly to the Bermuda Triangle of the outfield, one which just barely, narrowly, scarcely dropped onto the outfield grass, between the four Mets infielders and two outfielders running at full speed after it.  

As the Stadium reverberated with cheers and The Master's win warble, Ma Boone had the last word:

"We'll be back here tomorrow."