But soccer, right? What do I know?
I suggest my variant, above, for our current edition of the New York Yankees baseball club, which is about to get clubbed indeed by an actual good-hitting team, after failing miserably against the tomato cans of Anaheim and Baltimore.
The most immediate trouble is that the pitching is, after a long and mostly valiant season, coming undone at last. Aroldis Chapman: Worst Yankees reliever ever?
But this Yankees team is so weirdly bad in so many ways that it behooves one to take a minute and really inspect the glorious awfulness.
On the Joey Watch, Gallo—like so many Yankees this year—finally had his moment of bliss…and promptly returned to his decaying orbit of suckitude. .134, with just 15 more plate appearances to become the worst hitting Yankee regular in our boys’ 119 seasons.
But hey, there are so many baffling under-performances on this team, why stop at Flailing Joe?
Great game by the Sanchize yesterday, 2 homers and 6 ribbies, which gets him up to…49 RBI on his 97-game season so far. More than 1 entire ribbie every 2 games! I remember years when Munson used to drive in 49 runs in a series.
And The Gleyber. It’s simply mind-warping to look at this guy’s continuing slide.
The man has become a weird sort of nullity. He has not hit a home run since July 21st. In his 89 PA since then, he has all of 10 RBI, too, and only 5 doubles (plus 16 strikeouts and 3 DPs). At the same time, he has raised his BA from .241 to .255, and his OPS from .667 to .677.
It reminds me of nothing so much as Chase “Steady State” Headley, who used to go entire months, it seemed, without his hitting stats changing in any way. (But in fairness Steady State, at least, played at least a decent third base.)
What’s it all about, Gleybie?
Damned if I know—and damned if anybody in the bizarre-o managing and coaching staffs of this team seems to know. The Mysteries of the Bronx continue. But deep in my heart, I know one thing:
I BELIEVE THAT WE CAN’T WIN!
Sing it with me now!
I BELIEVE THAT WE CAN’T WIN!
My apologies for getting that in a little late yesterday; forgot it was a day game.
ReplyDeleteSo a couple updates are in order:
First, The Gleyber had 3 more PA yesterday, which makes 92 now WITHOUT a home run. If you're sacrificing average and contact for home runs, and you can't hit home runs, well...
Also Gleybs made another error. That means, going back through the abbreviated 2020 season, that Torres has 9 HR and 24 errors in his last 145 regular-season games.
Wow.
As to the Joey Watch:
ReplyDeleteYes, he is now at .130 in 151 PA as a Yankee, and fast closing on Andujar to qualify as the Yanks' "regular" left fielder for 2021. His mark as a regular would be a record low, surpassing The Sanchize's .147 last year and Jim Mason's .152 at SS in 1975.
As ZacharyA helpfully pointed out in the previous post, though, Joey's .130 would go beyond that, setting a record for low BA not even for "regulars" but for ANY Yankees with 100 or more plate appearances over the 119 seasons this franchise has existed.
I mean, we're talking all the way back to guys on the Highlanders, trying to whack a gray, grimy, spit-festooned ball in the gloaming at the pit that was Hilltop Park, during the deadball era.
Again, WOW...
Now, as to Joey, Joey...the question arises: DID we know what we were getting?
ReplyDeleteYes, he is THE classic, "3 true outcomes guy." But this is a new depth.
Consider: Joey was NOT a lifetime .206 hitter when he came to your New York Yankees. He was actually a .211 lifetime hitter. That's right: his performance in pinstripes has driven his 7-year, lifetime average down 5 points. Not easy to do.
His BA in the Bronx is almost 38 percent its usual, low, low mark.
What's more, his OBP is just .291 (.336 with Texas) and his SA is just .325 (.497 with Texas).
Joey, we must conclude, has gone from a 3 true outcomes kinda guy to a 1 true outcome. He strikes out—something he has done in just over 40 percent of his Yankee at-bats. (And did in just below 37 percent of his lifetime TX at-bats, and "only" in 32 percent of them this year, before being traded.)
ReplyDeleteBut wait, that's being unfair.
In those mere 151 PA with the Yanks, Joey has already grounded into 3 DPs! As opposed to just 9 in 7 years with the Texians.
He HAS added a new dimension to his game! (And with 126 DPs all told, the highest number in the majors, so have the Yankees as a team. But that's another dismal story for another dismal time.)
Oh, meant to say above that Joey's BA is "almost 38 percent BELOW its usual, low, low mark."
ReplyDeleteManagement regrets the error. It also regrets Joey Gallo.
A couple of reporters asked Boonie after the game if he's considering giving Joey A. Gallo a day off to get him reset. Boonie said that they are considering that.
ReplyDeleteThis team stinks, Cashman has no idea as to how to build a team. He just puts together a bunch of Dave Kingmans and the sycophant writers go all gaga when they hit 8HRs in game and go silent when they lose the next 4 by one run. And one more thought, in 2016 HOF Cashman had 2 of the most sought after relievers at the trade deadline. One had 2-3 yrs left on his contract and all they have to show for those two trades is Gleyber (who thought that guy could run so fast to first) Torres. Unf*#king believable
ReplyDeleteWas 2016 the year they benched the kids and brought back the stiffs? I've been saying 2017.
ReplyDeleteNot that it matters. It's 2021, for certain.
Gallo is in a horrible, terrible, lost-at-sea, "is this a bat I see before me?" slump. Right down there with Stanton's horrible, terrible, etc. slump this year. Giancarlo looked completely lost. Gallo looks, if anything, loster.
But I'm not worried. I'm sure Marcus Thames can get hit hitting dingers again, Gleyber, too, and Urshela batting .300.
Just not in our lifetimes.
Joey Gallo is hitting .101/.262/.261 in his last 20 games. I just assumed that was the worst batting average over a 20-game stretch this year for the Yankees, but I was wrong.
ReplyDeleteClint Frazier hit .086/.232/.207 from April 6 to May 4.
Now Clint was apparently playing half blind so I still think Gallo's stretch is more "impressive." But what a special team.
Thank, Zach! You are invaluable in coming up with these, horrible though they are.
ReplyDeleteAnd JM, no, you were right: it was 2017. I believe we even went with Jacoby Ellsbury in key playoff games. Oy.
The ineptitude is so appalling now ... I watch or listen to Yankee games for comic relief. It makes it easier to feel better about yourself when you see how bad these guys are, along with their management. This has got to be the worst run company in America, maybe in the entire world.
ReplyDeleteThe Hammer of God
ReplyDeleteI speak only for myself:
The best thing about Yankees Baseball in 2021 is this blog.
The best thing about Yankees Baseball since Mariano Rivera retired.
ReplyDeleteBonehead is teasing us tonight. He actually has the glass one playing right, Judge in center and Velazquez at short, but Wade is on the bench and Gardner is in left.
Cole is pitching, so we should hope for 2 runs.
Sounds like Nestor is moving back to the bullpen to piggyback with Gil. So our rotation going forward is:
ReplyDeleteCole
Taillon
Montgomery
Kluber + Heaney
Gil + Cortes
Meh.
I keep waiting for this team to set some of the ultimate major league records for futility:
ReplyDelete1. Grounding into nine double plays in a nine inning game, while getting shut out.
2. Striking out 27 times in a nine inning game.
3. Hitting nine solo home runs, only to lose 10-9.
4. Blowing a 21-0 lead in the ninth inning, losing 22-21.
I believe that this team has the potential to make Andy Hawkins's eight inning no-hitter seem like the good old days.
And who could possibly be dumb enough to believe that this team would win this year's wild card game? Okay, so anything could happen in sports. Yeah, I get that. (Buster Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson in Tokyo, and nobody predicted that.) But try to name the last time that a Yankee team that was thoroughly out-classed managed to win a wild card game. Or the last time that the Yankees won a World Series where they were a wild card prospect. The Yankees have been short on miracles in the postseason for a very long time now. I don't see any reason to think that this team could come up with any miracles this postseason.
The Hammer of God
Hammer,
ReplyDeleteIt's always good to have something to hope for.
I'm aiming low, like having a game be less painful than a sharp stick in the eye.
Torres and Gallo not in starting lineup...
ReplyDelete1. DJ LeMahieu (R) 2B
2. Aaron Judge (R) CF
3. Anthony Rizzo (L) 1B
4. Giancarlo Stanton (R) RF
5. Luke Voit (R) DH
6. Gio Urshela (R) 3B
7. Brett Gardner (L) LF
8. Kyle Higashioka (R) C
9. Andrew Velazquez (S) SS
Hammer of God--Fireflyl unleashed an obscene torrent of abuse in a thread yesterday in which no one had even addressed him. We're all waiting for your tart sermon to Firefly on the subject of dialogic politesse. Waiting . . .
ReplyDeleteRight on cue.
ReplyDeleteHC67--Gallo has been an abysmal bust with the Yankees. But by dwelling mainly on BA--a very limited stat--you are unfairly distorting the overall picture. With Texas in 2021 his OPS was .869--very respectable--and his WAR, which includes his defensive skills, was 4.1--more than respectable. Had he sustained that pace with the Yanks, he would have been a valuable acquisition. But he collapsed. Cashman seems to have a knack for grabbing players just before they go off a cliff. But Gallo's pre-Yankee performance 2021 was valuable in ways that are not reflected in your rather limited BA-heavy perspective.
ReplyDeleteLosing already. Extend the streak and get this season over with as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteHave they lost yet?
ReplyDelete"Have they lost yet?"
ReplyDeleteSuch lacerating wit! Such brilliant insight into baseball! What a priceless gift to this blog!
Puckered! How can we miss you when you won't go away?
ReplyDeleteWanna come to the next meet up? We'd ALL love to meet you!
Uh oh...
ReplyDeleteDoug K.
Antoinette, you showing up to the next meet up?
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteRufus, he is an annoying little cunt, isn't he?
A lot like having a snotty little brother...
...except he's not here to slap around some.
Or having shit on your shoe and no place to wipe it off.
"Wanna come to the next meet up? We'd ALL love to meet you!"
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you read some Nietzsche on the concept of the herd animal. Oh sorry--you're an illiterate thug who can't even SPELL Nietzsche.
So, anonymous. If the team had eight positional players with the same WAR and skillset as Gallo (adjusting for position) you'd bet your life that they'd have a sensational season? And believe me, I GET WAR, I "got it" when you were learning your perversions. Not a very hard concept, so lose your conceit. So what's it gonna be BOY, "yes"...or...."no". And no, you can't sleep on it, Baby.
ReplyDeleteYou see? He's all fluff. Proof, not that anyone needed any. Fly away rainboy.
ReplyDeleteAntoinette was a pussy two years ago. I paid for a ticket for her to show up at the Yankee game. Wimped out. That was two years ago and she still hasn't come up with a sociable interaction. Just a little maggot with no social skills and lots of vitriol. Too much of a keyboard warrior to follow up in any manner. Was going to 'out' me two years ago due to her superior interweb skills. Still waiting. The only way we'll get rid of her is to get moderation on the site.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile the game is nearly as fucked up as puckered.
ReplyDeleteRode munch anon, are you totally stupid ? I was using your WAR numbers for Gallo. Get the HELL off the Crystal so that you can actually respond to an hypothetical scenario. Now, take some blues, chill, and try again, you son of a BITCH.
ReplyDeleteI did reply to your hypothetical, even though it was the product of a retard. The WAR for Gallo was not "mine," idiot. Moreover, you are raising a different topic. My point to HC pertained to Gallo's performance in Texas, a pit which I also cited his Ops. I wasn't discussing the value if WAR in general. Clear enough, moron? I mean you are staggeringly dumb.
DeleteRufus, what is needed is a sign-up style site. I don't know the cost, but I would gladly help pay the price to keep the vermin out.
ReplyDeleteWould you take a team of 4.1 WAR players, with the caveat that their skill set, adjusting for position, is like GALLO? ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!
ReplyDeleteAnd anon, I stand by my assessment of 9/3. Now answer the question.
ReplyDeleteBecause WAR is an abstract concept not meant to be an absolute. Even physics rarely have absolutes, and even then viewed with suspicion. That is why I won't allow you to hold me to the letter of an opinion. And that is what this blog is about, "opinions". This isn't submitting and defending a thesis in front of a board of " experts". Dig?
ReplyDeleteHis mind so easily pealed back like a rotten banana. I gave him a chance to reason. Nope, no can do, only crazy insults. Then when an olive branch was extended, doesn't know what to do. Hides. Well that bit of business has just been wrapped up.
ReplyDeleteLet's face facts.
ReplyDeleteEach and EVERY ONE of us, out of the blue, without provocation, INITIATED invective insults against the piece of shit known as Stat boy/stat bitch/pizza boy/little cunt/anal anon/Buck's puckered hemorrhoid/total loser asshole who lives in mommy's basement. And she is not a socially maladjusted psychopath.
He NEVER initiated any of the vitriol.
Except on days that end in "Y".
I never said WAR is an absolute. That's a red herring you're raising to divert attention from your hysterical gratuitous rant--a rant about nothing as far as I can decipher it. The point is: we both used WAR as a point of reference about Gallo in exactly the same way. But you became unhinged over my identical use of the stat but defended your own. That means that you're intellectually incoherent as usual. You have some sort of emotional/cognitive problem. Get help.
ReplyDeleteFirefly, the Sock Puppet Master:
ReplyDelete"INITIATED invective insults against the piece of shit known as Stat boy/stat bitch/pizza boy/little cunt/anal anon/Buck's puckered hemorrhoid/total loser asshole"
Every MLB player has a slash line. Now I have one too!
Now get some help before you hurt yourself or your wife.