Captain Doug’s MLB Jokebook: Lockout /Delayed Season Edition

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

The MLB Players Association.

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How many owners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

We’ll get you a number sometime in June.

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Three MLB Owners walk into a sports bar and are beaten to death by angry fans.

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OK, that one seems harsh let me try again…

 Hal Steinbrenner and two other owners walk into a sports bar and order three beers. Hal, working hard to overcome the perception that he is a cheap indifferent fuck, offers to pay for the round. 

He asks the bartender, “What do I owe you?” and the bartender replies. “A commitment to winning a World Series.” Hal looks at him with that non smiling condescending face he makes that masks his true feelings and says, “For the beers. How much are three beers?” The bartender says, “Fifteen dollars.” Hal looks at him in disbelief, “Fifteen dollars? At the Stadium I get forty five!” And he is beaten to death by angry fans.

There. That’s better.