Saturday, March 12, 2022

The Yankees won't sign him, but let's recap the reasons why Freddie Freeman would be a perfect fit

With the great lockout over, instead of ridiculing all owners, Yank fans can return to grilling just one: Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner - "Halligator Arms," "the Prince of the Purse" - who faced three of his own signees - Zack Britton, Jameson Tailon and Gerrit Cole -during direct negotiations. 

In doing so, Hal supported luxury tax thresholds that undermine his own franchise, preferring the favor of his brother oligarchs to the pleas of the Yankee fan base. Hal hasn't won dick in 13 years, but in the yacht club, he's cool beans. 

Shortly after the agreement was tweeted, the Yankiverse bloomed with fantastical stories, suggesting that the Yankees were among the finalists for Freddie Freeman, the juiciest remaining free agent -(after Carlos Correa, whom they have carefully ghosted since November.)  

Seriously, does anybody really think Hal will shell out for Freeman? It would mean outbidding the Dodgers and world champion Braves, both of whom represent what the Yankees used to be. (If you ranked MLB teams by prestige, popularity and success, ahead of the Yankees would arguably be the Dodgers, Rays, Astros, Giants, Redsocks, Braves, Cardinals, Nats, Cubs... and - yeesh - the Mets? Sad.) 

So, with the understanding that this is a mere parlor game - (and we need them to briefly escape the current horrors of this world) - let's dismiss the reasons why the Yankees won't sign Freeman - and ponder what it would mean if they did. Yes, my friends... eat the mushroom, drink the Kool-Aid, nostril the line, and forget the Fentanyl scare. Desperate times require desperate fantasies.

Five reasons why the Yankees would sign Freddie.

1. Their infield would be anchored by a solid, veteran defensive 1B, rather than an NFL nose guard. 

Speaking of Luke Voit, they could trade him to a National League team in need of a pass rush. 

2. He would become the LH bat between Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton - creating perhaps MLB's the most feared three-way. It's not hard to imagine 100 RBIs, a rather piddling benchmark that no Yankee cleared in 2021. 

3. He would free the Yankees to deal Gleyber Torres, their last great trade chip, to fill one of their bottomless holes. DJ LeMahieu can replace him at 2B. 

Or... before you scream at me... they could keep Gleyber and rotate DJ around the infield. Either way, they'd have depth entering a season that - considering the flash dance spring training - will probably be remembered for its injury lists.  

4. If they cannot find a SS, the Yankees could legitimately try Gio Urshela, knowing Freddie will save him from a ton of bad throws. Not sure I want Gio at SS, but it might be doable. Otherwise... is Alvaro Espinosa still available? 

5. He would restore the Yankee brand, currently under siege. The Mets loom as New York's Team. Without a resounding splash, the Yankees might emerge from this disastrously unpopular and acrimonious lockdown with a ho-hum roster. To return with Gary Sanchez, Aaron Hicks and Joey Gallo might make sense at the Moneyball Festival, but it would be an epic miscalculation of fan interest. Can you imagine on opening day, the crowd reacting to their names on the loudspeaker? Yikes.

So, there you have it. Five reasons the Death Barge should sign Freddie. Too bad it won't. In a way, this is just our version of yelling at the Sacklers. But, hey, at least Food Stamps will be Pope of the 19th hole. 

11 comments:

  1. Agreed, not a snowball’s chance in hell they sign Freeman. Personally, I prefer the younger Olson, even though they’d rape us for him. SS? CF? SP? I’d say we”ll take whatever is left over, at best. Sad times indeed, and they are here to stay.

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  2. Exactly, El Duque. This is life under CHEAPSKATE HAL. It is all about the same old product and saving cash. I hear the apologists saying that The Yankees have a high payroll. They have holes larger than the Grand Canyon. When will the Yankees resign Brett Gardner? Ed

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  3. I'm going to over night express our penny jar to Hal to help persuade him to sign Freddie. There must be at least $27 in that thing. I sure hope it works.

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  4. I hear the NY Giants are considering Voit as a option for their anemic pass rush and help with stopping the run in their porous defensive line.

    As far as any of those teams you mentioned being more popular than the Yankees. Not even close. Number 2 would be the Dodgers at a distant second. The only hat you see on newscasts around the world.....during wars, insurrections, coups and natural disasters is that interlocking Yankees NY.

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  5. @ AA....Hal will only pocket your pennies or use it to tip the yacht crew.

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  6. If Freddie was a Free Man...
    Diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dee..
    All day long Hal'd
    Twiddle widdle thumbs
    Twiddle widdle thumbs would he-e-e-e-e-e...

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  7. My boycott is in full effect unless Cheapskate Hal goes over the luxury tax to get Freeman, and fix the holes in centerfield and SS, etc. I'm assuming he won't so a hearty preemptive FU to him!

    And the saddest part about all of this, the Mets are now the more exciting/promising team in NY,,, URRGGGGG!

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  8. Of course they won't sign Freeman. I would gladly accept Rizzo—who the Red Sox will no doubt snatch up instead.

    And yell at you for the idea of trading The Gleyber? Aw, say it ain't so that you have so little faith in us, Peerless Leader.

    I think most of us would deal Torres in a heartbeat. This is, after all the last chance for that—last opportunity for him to have any trade value at all. If he's not gone in the next month, he will be a(nother) millstone on this team forever.

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  9. Not going to play this game anymore. We're acting like the team's ownership and management gives a shit. They don't. Nor do the lords of baseball, in general.

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  10. I don't see why we can't play Travis Hafner at first

    PRONK. PRONK. PRONK.

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  11. They've ruined Gleyber Torres. He and Clint Frazier both started using that stupid stance with the front toe tapping and all the weight back. They should trade Gleyber but I'm afraid to think of what we'd get back for him. A bag of peanuts?

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