There has been a GREAT discussion in the comments sections about boycotting Opening Day. Please read these and get involved.
It occurred to me that we might also impose a full FAN LOCKOUT until our demands are met.
To get things started, I've drafted a letter to MLB.
Dear Major League Baseball:
We, the financial supporters of Major League Baseball, will end
our 2022 Fan Lockout when the following conditions are met:
- The current MLB commissioner, Rob Manfred, resigns.
- DraftKings, FanDuel, and others of their ilk shall be banished from the
sport. Besides the fact that Judge Kennesaw Mountain Landis
was right, the fact that Pete Rose is banned but Draft Kings,
et al enjoy a partnership with baseball is all anyone needs to know
about the owners' flaming hypocrisy.
- No advertising on uniforms. Jeez, do we even need to explain
the reason to you? Jerks.
- If there is a luxury tax, the proceeds shall be distributed
among minor leaguers and/or MLB players making league minimum,
not to other team owners.
- As is the practice in certain European soccer leagues, the
team in each league with the worst winning percentage each
year shall become a minor league team beginning the following
season. The AAA team that wins the IL championship shall be promoted. This should discourage teams tanking/not trying. It
will also be a booster shot for the recently gutted minor
league system. If more than one team has the lowest winning
percentage, then multiple teams get demoted/promoted.
- "Exit Velocity" and "Launch Angle" shall no longer be tracked nor
even mentioned.
- A 30-second pitch clock will be implemented. Batters must
keep one foot in the batters box throughout their at bats,
unless they are dodging a pitch thrown at or behind them or
explicit permission is granted by the umpire.
- The stupid practice of playing 7-inning doubleheaders shall immediately cease.
- The stupid extra innings designated baserunner feature will immediately be discontinued. If you insist on keeping the stupid extra innings designated baserunner, he shall henceforth be known as "The Manfred Man".
- <PLEASE ADD MORE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION>
In other words, this isn't just a boycott of Opening Day, it's a
friggin' full-on fan lockout until our demands are met.
[While you guys are responding, I'm going to go order a bunch of pitchforks and torches on Amazon.]
First of all, REALLY well done. Seriously. Framing us as the financial supporters is perfect.
ReplyDeleteCouple of quick notes:
Can't do #5 because the Triple A team is owned by, and is a feeder to, the major league club. So it just can't happen.
Number 4 is truly inspired!!!
We might want to drop the snark. Entertaining as it may be. Except the Manfred Man joke that's just too damn good to leave out.
THREE! WORD! CHANT!
ReplyDeleteTHREE! WORD! CHANT!
THREE! WORD! CHANT!
Lock! Us! Out!
ReplyDeleteLock! Us! Out!
Lock! Us! Out!
Oh... never mind.
Brilliant, LBJ!
ReplyDeleteI especially love #3, #8, and #9.
Couple comments:
—I agree with Doug that relegation, sweet as it would be, is impossible. I would demand instead the restoration of all minor-league teams just eliminated by MLB, with an abject apology to the communities that were harmed.
I would add:
—As an addendum to the firing of Rob Manfred: All future commissioners will be individuals appointed by the Federal Mediation Board. They must prove that they will be objective—and actually love baseball.
—As an apology to all fans, for the 2022 season there will be a 20 percent, across-the-board cut in all MLB prices, for the duration of the year.
—All major- and minor-league teams will make a written, legally enforceable pledge to never again accept public money for the building or reconstruction of ballparks, the only exceptions to this pledge being damage caused by natural disasters or terrorist attacks.
—All luxury boxes will be dismantled or sold on a game-by-game, lottery basis to groups of fans.
—All teams will agree to teach and utilize the time-honored strategies of the game, including the bunt, the hit-and-run, hitting to the opposite field, choking up or cutting down on a swing with two strikes, and pitching to contact.
Oh, and one more:
ReplyDelete—Until and unless there is further expansion, playoff teams shall be limited to five in each major league.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words.
I wish you guys wouldn't give up so quickly on #5, however. My thinking was:
1) Imagine the boost in fan interest in those smaller cities if suddenly they were designated as "Major League". Their citizens would FLOCK to their stadiums because they would suddenly be able to see real, live MLB, right in their home town. Towns like Columbus, OH, Pawtucket, RI (back in the day), Scranton, Syracuse, Rochester NY, Albuquerque, etc. would go bonkers over such an opportunity.
2) It might also be possible because being in the "Major" Leagues is merely a designation. Who's in the MLB changes every time there's an expansion and sometimes following the sale of a team. Even if the AAA teams are owned by the same entities/people as the parent club, the ownership's penalty for league-worst performance would to have to shift their MLB designation to either another ownership group or to another part of their organization.
3) I suppose that, yes, if the Orioles had the worst record in the MLB the same year the RailRiders won the IL championship, that would mean the Yankees' ownership would have two MLB teams and Hal could double dip. Even if Hal doesn't deserve such a fate, however, wouldn't Angelos deserve his?
I can see how such a plan wouldn't work, and would create potential conflicts of interest, but I'd LOVE to continue to noodle on it because of the potential for the huge civic boost it would provide for some smaller communities and the pressure it would put on MLB franchises to always put a superior product on the field.
I think such an arrangement would improve both the quality of and interest in the game at all levels. As a pragmatist, however, I do understand that it's not likely....
....unless, Congress forced it into being in exchange for leaving the anti-trust exemption in place. Mmmmmbwahahahaha.
I'll still think about it because that's what I tend to do. Perhaps we can do additional research to see exactly how it works in the European leagues? Or maybe we can ask noted soccer-phile Hall S. to weigh in? (cough>
I want mlb to produce an official version of "spider tac". Im not saying that it needs to be as powerful of use as spider tac, but i want all the pitchers using the same product to go along with the official ball. Allow mlb and players union to decide what that product should be. We dont need a replay of last year.
ReplyDeleteI would like to see each team get to designate 1 player per year as a steriod user. Let one old guy or injury riddled guy get super healthy for a season. Make the rule that a guy can only be designated once every 5 years and regulate the dose/cycle.
11. On Opening Day, Rob Manfred will be stripped down naked and left in the middle of the Bronx wearing the sign that Bruce Willis wore in opening of ‘Die Hard 3’….
ReplyDeleteMaybe the teams that can't afford to spend (lower tier teams) like Kansas City and Pittsburgh should just be folded...the talent is so watered down in the Major Leagues presently...having fewer teams that can spend money on talented players would promote better competition and less tanking.
ReplyDeleteLET'S ORGANIZE.
ReplyDeleteARE WE NOT MEN?
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ReplyDeleteI tried posting the whole version of "Island of Lost Souls" from 1932, then saw that it was hosted on a server from a country I'd rather not mention, so I deleted it.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to go take a hot bath and think strategy, people...
Remember Gentlemen - L O V E is the answer.
ReplyDeleteOf course not, Bitty,
ReplyDeleteWe are Devo
D-E-V-O...
I dunno, LBJ. Last time there was multi-team ownership—1899—it produced the worst team in major-league history, the 20-134 Cleveland Spiders, after the owner shifted all his best players over to his St. Louis franchise. Thereby spoiling a really good team nickname, too.
ReplyDeleteI do like the pressure it puts on the teams to actually try. Maybe a spending floor would be the way to go. And/or allowing city ownership, Green Bay style.
ranger, I can see your logic. But again, why not just go back to the original eight in each league, and stick the expansion teams in their own divisions/leagues?
ReplyDeleteAfter all, even more than 60 years on, not a single expansion team in the majors has an overall winning record.
I hope ratings for USFL games starting in mid-April are through the roof. Remember the "F Joe Biden" chants? "F major league baseball!" should ring out loud and long.
ReplyDeleteAnother fanciful relegation idea.
ReplyDeleteDivide MLB into two divisions.
Division 1 consists of the 16 teams with the best records the previous year. It is itself split into the American and National leagues (8 teams each).
Division 2 consists of the remaining 14 teams in two divisions.
Relegation: the bottom 2 teams in the AL and NL are relegated. The top four teams in Division 2 are promoted.
No more tanking. Also, the financial incentives to get out of Division 2 hell would make both divisions more competitive.
@cabish47...an EPL solution...you would need playoffs for relegation/promotion...that would be good ratings...
ReplyDeleteInteresting, cabish! Funny how much more progress we're making off the seat of our pants than MLB and the Players have in months...
ReplyDeleteI also like the idea from Cabish.
ReplyDeletePlease, please, let's get rid of the SHIFT. No more infielders playing anywhere on the field.
ReplyDeleteBaseball was better when all infielders played on the infield dirt, two each on either side of second base. No more stolen hits in the second-base hole or up-the-middle, no more line drive outs to the second baseman in short left field. PLEASE!