I know what you're saying: Come on, man, how can we top the extra-innings debacle of last night? Well, I'm thinking: Creative baserunning! Similar to Anthony Rizzo running into a grounder, or Giancarlo Stanton loping to first after his third strike skips to the backstop... I'm thinking, failure to touch third base! Or... hidden ball trick!
So, what's wrong?
1. We have an HR problem, and I don't mean harassment of Miss Bixley in the secretarial pool.
We only score when someone homers. And game situations don't seem to matter. Tying run on third? We swing for the fences. Need a leadoff man on base? Swinnnnnnng, battah!
Last night, in the tenth, with the Manfred Man on second, Boone pinch hit Aaron Judge. Okay, fine. What did Judge do? He took his usual, long, looping HR cuts. He fanned. Nothing happened. Nobody moved the runner. And nobody scored, because nobody homered.
I find it interesting that baseball has outmoded the central statistic of its first 100 years: the batting average. For generations, it meant something to be a .300 hitter. (One of Mickey Mantle's great regrets was staying too long, so his career average dipped below .300.)
Today, we're told batting average is a fraud. Instead, we're supposed to accept a blitz of numbers that somehow show Joey Gallo and Aaron Hicks to be great offensive weapons, even with BA's below .200 - below Mendoza. We're told Josh Donaldson - with catcher's speed, last stolen base: 2019 - is the perfect leadoff hitter. We are supposed to dismiss everything we know because Gallo leads the universe in some bizarre stat that turns fire into ice, black into white, and night into day.
And the Yankees score when someone homers.
This is tiresome. Should we turn to the USFL?
2. Bringing in El Chapo last night with the bases loaded, I suppose Aaron Boone was imagining a Hollywood ending - the grizzled manager (Nicolas Cage) giving his fallen star (Will Smith) a shot at redemption. Hey, it'll sell itself!
Well, so much for that. Last night ended with Aroldis more confused and neutered than ever, and with Boone ridiculously going full Al Pacino - ("I'm out of order? This court is out of order!") on a called ball four, which looked high and outside on replay.
If you're going out screaming, it's nice to actually have a case.
Down a game in Baltimore, and the O's taste our.
This is tiresome. Should we be taking up Better Call Saul?
Better call St Jude.
ReplyDeleteThis is all Marcus Thames fault.
What, he's not here anymore?
Never
mind.
During the off season I mentioned that the guy to sign was Seiya Susuki. A 27 year old player from Japan. Hits for avg, power, has speed and a great arm. He could have manned LF easily. Plus we lose Gallo.
ReplyDeleteGranted it's a SSS but let's see how he's doing
From MLB.com (my comments in ()
Slugger Seiya Suzuki -- signed to a five-year, $85 million contract during the spring
(5 YEARS only $85 million!!!!!!!! )
-- continued his strong start to the season. After compiling nine RBIs in his first five career games a franchise record, the outfielder connected for an RBI double that capped off a three-run first inning. He is the first Cubs player to have 10 RBIs in his first 22 or fewer plate appearances to start a career since RBIs became a stat in 1920.
(So he's clutch then but OK at least he doesn't hit HRS!!!)
Regular Season
19 games
4 Runs
7 Hits
3 HR in six games (I guess he does)
10 RBI
.368 BA
.500 OBP
1.395 OPS
(I'd Post Joey's Gallo's stats but how many times can you type 0.)
I seriously hate this team.
Oh somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
ReplyDeleteThe band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are bright,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,
But there is no joy in Mudville, mighty,
Donaldson,
Judge,
Stanton,
Gallo,
Hicks,
Torres,
Higgy,
IKF,
Marwin
Has struck out.
A poem for the ages.
The best rendition was the Looney Tunes one where the big brute Casey swung so hard that he screwed himself into the ground.
Who would have thought that 60 years later that cartoon would be a Yankee training video.
I'm sorry that I didn't think of this...but we are having a Cuban Missile Crisis...
ReplyDeleteArchie,
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of Duque's version and also Garrison Keillor's.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeFqz420idU
Dillion Lawson, our new hitting coach would love for everyone to be reminded that his award winning slogan is "Hit Strikes Hard".
ReplyDelete"That's the mantra, that's the motto that we've kind of tried to build up through the minor league system over the last three years. We're trying to keep their strengths their strengths and any area where we can improve just about one percent, then that's going to make a BIG difference on the field."
Excuse me now while I go chew my arm off and wash it down with coffee brewed with bitter tears.
This is what the Yankees are and will continue to be under Genius Cashman and Cheapskate Hal. Since Penny Pincher Hal will not sell, it has been time for the past five years t get rid of Genius Cashman.
ReplyDeleteOur new hitting coach, Dillon Lawson, who never took a professional at-bat in his life, has clarified his approach - “It’s trying to create some sort of bridge from the training environment to the game, and connecting the cage to the advanced information to observing the game in the dugout, and then finally getting your name put in the lineup.”
ReplyDeleteThe goal was “to square the ball up more, which in turn is going to increase average exit velos.”
So - we've got that going for us.
How in the actual fuck does our ghost runner get hit by a batted ball? Not that it matters, because since Stanton never runs hard, so it would’ve been an easy DP for the Birds. Chapman? They should’ve made a better effort to trade Chapman before the season.
ReplyDeleteSo far, the team’s play has validated every criticism this site made about them. It’s only been a week, but Donaldson looks washed up, There really isn’t a lot of ready help available from the farm, but I think Cabrera could handle 3b. The team shouldn’t hesitate to call him up if the current malaise persists.
Last night’s loss was borderline inexcusable, most definitely embarrassing, and overall a pathetic effort for a team that fancies itself a contender.
@Duque ... So WHEN are you going to introduce me to this Miss Bixley?
ReplyDelete@The Archangel, "Casey swinging so hard that he screwed himself into the ground ... Yankee training video". Hilarious!
@mik, Yeah so now we have a hitting coach who never played professionally, in addition to a pitching coach who never pitched professionally. Sort of like if the Metropolitan Opera House hired the local glee club director from Timbuktoo, Arizona to be the new vocal coach.
The other day, the Master and Susyn were talking about how Rizzo goes to the mound to talk to the pitcher whenever the situation calls for it. I'm glad we have a secondary (but real) pitching coach at 1B!
Yes, we should turn to the USFL.
ReplyDelete@ Archangel....right, the firing of Thames and Pillitere were going to change the hitters habits.
ReplyDelete(Sung to The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again"} "Meet the new hitting coaches, same as the old hitting coaches."
As long as Joey Gallo is a regular presence in this lineup, the organization deserves nothing but scorn.
ReplyDeletePublius,
ReplyDeleteNot only in the lineup but batting cleanup!!!!!
It's bizzaro world.
Hilarious, Duque—and spot on. And good points all around.
ReplyDeleteYes, the new stats have provided SOME good ways to look at the old game. But it's ridiculous to pretend that nobody knew what they were doing for the past 160 years or so.
Situational hitting, hitting to the opposite field, pitching to contact, etc.—these were all real things, and good things. Batting average counts! RBI count!
And incidentally, WTF is the idea of taking Judge out of the lineup for the first game of this series?
ReplyDeleteIf we are going to play by Brian Cashman's stats, Judge has a lifetime, 1.056 OPS in Camden Yards. It is a bandbox inhabited by a team with generally awful pitching.
If you just want him to get up there and swing for the fences, have him do it 4-5 times a game, not just once!!!
It's like I was saying, the problem isn't that we can't hit with men on base. It's that we can't hit.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing about this team that generates interest. The Mets, on the other hand...
I say outta spite we cover the Mets on this website until Cashman disappears down the side of another skyrise
Delete“It’s trying to create some sort of bridge from the training environment to the game, and connecting the cage to the advanced information to observing the game in the dugout, and then finally getting your name put in the lineup.”
ReplyDeleteThe goal was “to square the ball up more, which in turn is going to increase average exit velos.” Sounds like someone who is trying to get by with bullshit.
Horace, "Yes, the new stats have provided SOME good ways to look at the old game. But it's ridiculous to pretend that nobody knew what they were doing for the past 160 years or so". THAT in a nutshell explains the game. Teams don't score anymore than they did fifty years ago, what seems to be improvement in the "athletes" comes from a bottle. And it's not coming from a bottle of Scotch. Oh, someone please explain to me, other than for scouting purposes, how much is really gleaned from knowing exactly the rpms of a pitch? I.e., players and coaches have always understood "movement" on a pitch. Well, maybe not a guy like Dillion Lawson....