Thursday, May 26, 2022

Shave him.



  The Yankees have signed Matt Carpenter. 

35 comments:

  1. he may be needed since Donaldson is undergoing public castration and penitence tour.

    he will be eligible for the media-approved reputation-recovery cycle in about three years.

    it's a shame because he was starting to look like a threat.

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  2. by he, I meant to say Carpenter may be needed

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  3. They should give him jersey number 36… because he’s FUCKING THIRTY SIX. Paging the Hebrew Home…

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  4. 36 is double chai in Jewish numerology. So maybe he'll hit a double.

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  5. Carp has a 70s gay porn mustache.

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  6. JM,

    I assume you know that because...?

    Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you.

    PS, asking for a friend -- what was your stage name?

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  7. I did have a mustache in the 70s. Not like Carp's. But I shaved it by '74.

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  8. OK, but does Carpenter also have the golden thong?

    Again, asking for a friend.

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  9. Carpenter is here to eventually take Marwin Gonzalez's place. Same skill set and Marwin ain't getting it done.

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  10. I may be tarred and feathered on this space for having what outsiders call "hope", but I think Yankees will do no worse than 2-2 at the Duluth County Fair Horror House (nee, Tropicana Hellhole) on this trip.

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  11. Well, we got three. Not bad.

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  12. He’s got the hat trick. Now for the sombrero.

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  13. But we finally got some runs for Nestor!

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  14. Oh, and Platoni, STFU!!!

    Please.

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  15. Thank you sir! May I have another?

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  16. AnDu is doing the baseball things.

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  17. He is. And Joey is being Joey.

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  18. John and Suzyn broke character. I think the only thing worse than reality invading baseball is reality itself.

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  19. That sloppiness could mess up the porn star stache

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  20. Boone Must have cried putting this lineup together....the fact that it managed to score 7 is amazing

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  21. I thought the same thing, JM. I was only curious. One night when I'd been drinking. A lot.

    Sadly, that was also a straight porn stache in the '70s, a grooming-challenged decade.

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  22. Marwin played a solid third tonight

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  23. That was strangely tidy. Nestor is Heroic.

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  24. No Hicks, No Problem.
    Nestor the Molestor making it look easy.
    Muy Bueno!

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  25. BTR!! Please we cannot afford to lose another promising pitcher!!

    Watch it with the molesting talk. Nestor isn't a member of the Southern Baptist Church leadership. As far as we know.

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  26. Behold! Nestor!

    https://www.greekmythology.com/Myths/Mortals/Nestor/nestor.html#:~:text=Nestor%20was%20the%20son%20of,including%20Peisistratus%2C%20Thrasymedes%20and%20Pisidice.

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  27. “If they want me to load the bags on the plane, that’s what I’ll do,” Carpenter said before Thursday's 7-2 win over the Rays at Tropicana Field. “I’m excited to put a Yankees uniform on and be part of the best team in baseball right now. I’m just fired up to be here, whatever that role looks like.”

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  28. Love Carpenter already.

    And...Hicks got hurt WITHOUT turning hot????

    The world has gone off its axis. Prepare the Snowpiercer train.

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  29. Genius Cashman trying to solve another lost soul.

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