Of course, the king of surprise nobodies is Tom Brady - today so famous that it's hard to even remember when he wasn't a multinational corporation, endorsing the triad of capitalism: cars, footwear and beer. For the record, that would be 2000, when Brady was drafted in the NFL's sixth round. Coulda been a Giant. Coulda been a Jet. Just imagine...
In New York City, the last great, unbelievable walk-on superstar is probably wide receiver Victor Cruz, who joined the Giants in 2010 as an undrafted lug nut. In the end, Madonna was doing his salsa dance, but at the start, anybody coulda signed Cruz for a gym membership.
All of which DOES NOT lead me to thinking about Nestor Cruz.
No, no, NO! Let me be clear. I'm NOT comparing Nasty Nestor to Brady, or Cruz, or anybody who ever appeared in a Pepsi commercial with the latest CIA-created clone of Joey Heatherton. (Still the greatest Joey, BTW.) Are you reading this, juju gods? Yeah, I'm talking to you. I'm NOT saying nothing, so keep your fucking grubby hands, or claws, or feelers, off Nestor Cortez. I'm still reeling from the NY Post, which recently stuck Michael King on its back cover, suggesting he was baseball's best pitcher. I mean, who does that? Is Rupert Murdoch a Redsock fan?
So... recapping... he is NOT fucking Tom Brady.
If we want to compare Nasty Nestor to anybody, I suggest Shane Spencer, Jim Leyritz, Kevin Maas, Yangervis Solarte - how about Jeremy Lin! - even the massive rookie half-season of Gary Sanchez or the thrice-retreaded 2011 version of Bartolo Colon, which, frankly, still suggests bribery and corruption among the juju gods.
How long will this continue? Haven't a clue. Right now, he'd be in the mix for All-Star game starter, though it would probably be Justin Verlander because...
a) Justin Verlander is a bigger name
b) Justin Verlander is having a great year
c) Everybody wants to see Cheating Justin Fucking Verlander throw out his arm in a meaningless but stressful game
Okay, here's the nut graph: Last night might turn out to be the greatest moment in the future made-for-TV movie about Nasty Nestor. (Alfred Molina?)
If there was anything bad about last night, it's that he didn't get a chance to pitch the complete game shutout. (Wandy Peralta gave up the run, which wrecked Nestor's box score. Still, I don't blame Boone for pulling Cortez; he'd thrown enough pitches and has shown himself worth saving.)
Right now, we're watching a potential great story, a Hallmark movie, the legend of Nasty Nestor, the most lovable rising Yankee since - well - Joba? Ouch. That hurts to suggest, because we know how the Joba movie turns out. Still, that's how worms turn in the real world. Cortez is having a Fukinay moment. Let's enjoy every minute of it, and let's see where it goes. But for God's sake, people, think about what you write in the comment section. Tell me I'm fulla shit - fine - but remember: The juju gods will read it and post clippings in the locker room.
This could be the great story of 2022. In the name of Linsanity, we need one.
Four years ago, I sat in my seat at Big Mac(yeah, it will ALWAYS be "Big Mac" to me!), and watched a Scranton nobody names Nestor Cortes Jr, take a no-hitter into the ninth inning. From where I sat, he seemed to be doing it on junk and guile alone. He lost the no-hitter, but won my heart that night.
ReplyDeleteI've waited patiently all these past years, for somebody in power (YANKEE power), to see what I saw that night, and give this guy a bonafide chance.
Thankfully, that time has finally come, and we readers of IIHIIFIIG...bc are all the better for it. And Yankee history is being written right before our eyes, with every terrific outing.
Long live Nasty Nestor!
To think we almost lost him to Baltimore.
ReplyDeleteCarpenter doesn't look well. He has that kind of haunted, way too thin look of the doomed.
ReplyDeleteHe's obviously fine, but I get a creepy feeling whenever the camera cuts to him.
Joey Gallo has 7 RBI in 126 PA.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, going back to the end of last year he has 9 RBI in 175 PA.
It's absolutely insane how pathetic Gallo is at driving in runs since he joined the Yankees. And Joey has batted in the 2nd-7th spot in 100% of his starts with the team. Those are prime spots to drive in runs.
Gallo is 3-25 (.120) in RISP situations this year after going 4-41 (.098) in RISP situations last year with the Yankees.
From 2017-2021 with the Rangers, Gallo drove in 302 RBI in 515 G, or 95 RBI per 162 games.
His 162-game pace this year is 31 RBI.
It's so frustrating to watch Gallo hit in these spots, but he's SO inept it's almost becoming fascinating. Like we should be taking notes for posterity.
The landscape used to be littered with guys like Nestor. Catfish, Maddux, Luis Tiant. Christ, Bob Fucking Gibson had a 92mph fastball. Of course he threw it "at" hitters, but still. The guy Nestor reminds me most of though is Valenzuela. Little bit of a chubbette, deceptive, ballsy. Maybe Nestor can hit like him. Pinch hit for Gallows when we, you know, need a hit.
ReplyDeleteNestor is Heroic.
ReplyDeleteJM...
ReplyDeleteCarpenter looks like a vampire. We'll see if he plays any day games.
John Tudor would be another comparable for Nestor. Love it, when he starts with his dipsy-doo windup. And I'm hoping his run continues long enough that he gets PAID like the star he is becoming.
ReplyDeleteCarpenter looks like he knows his once-formidable talent has already circled the drain.
You’re right- Carpenter looks a little like Count A la Card in the worst movie of its kind, “Dracula Goes West” or whatever it was called. Or one of the James gang decided to go straight after Frank Howard (that dirty little coward) opted to plug Jesse…..
ReplyDeleteWould definitely temper any expectations for Carpenter. He was a fine player in his younger days, an All-Star with all-around talent who once led the Majors in total hits and doubles. However, he had the lowest BA in the majors over the past seasons combined. “What? Lower than Gallo?” you say? Yes. Having the 2 worst hitters in BB in our lineup at the same time is not a cause for confidence. Mix in the awful Hicks, non-existent production from our catchers, a Punch ‘n ’ Judy SS, injured Stanton, and a slumping DJL and Rizzo, and whaddya got? Miguel Andujar we turn our lonely eyes to you. Aaron Judge, your honor, do NOT get hurt. The minor leagues are barren of hitters . (Sorry, but Bird is not the Word) This could be a very active and interesting trade deadline. But as the the ancient Chinese curse goes, “May you live in interesting times”
ReplyDeleteThat is all true BTR99, and yet somehow the Yanks are first in R/G in the AL and second in OPS+. It does not figure.
ReplyDeleteFuck.
Rizzo is feast or famine. Interesting having Judge bat leadoff. Seems like the last guys in the lineup do a more than decent job of getting on base.
ReplyDeleteHicks has transitioned. He's now sitting with Gallo in the Head Case infirmary.
Question: Can Gleyber hit with power against anybody other than Baltimore?
Wezil...
ReplyDeleteBob Ford was friends with Dick Liddil (haha) and the two of them were living at Ford's sisters house with another gang member who's name was Wood Hite. Wood Hite was Jesse James' cousin. Hite and Liddil got into a dust-up of some sort one day and started shooting each other and Ford got involved, shooting Hite in the back of the head killing him. Both Ford and Liddil were afraid Jesse James would get revenge for the killing of his cousin and so Liddil turned himself in to the local sheriff, confessing his crimes and testifying against the other members of the James gang. Ford, who was living at Jesse James' house at the time of the confessing and fearing for his own life, shot Jesse James in the back of the head. It's all facts.
nasty nasty nasty
ReplyDeleteThree things...
ReplyDelete1) Carpenter
We've all been unhappy with Marwin as our ageing veteran utility man. Carpenter has the same skill set and if he performs better he will replace Marwin. That's why they signed him.
As to him being a vampire... He had to shave that day for the first time in years.
Don't know if any of you have ever had a lengthy beard for a lengthy amount of time but your skin underneath hasn't seen the sun in a while and will look pale and pasty.
Or, he could be a vampire. Both explanations work as far as I'm concerned.
2) AnDUjar -
Please, please please stay in the bigs and replace Joey Gallo. Please please please.
3) Nestor
Dis fuckin' guy right here eh?
Thanks for that, Mildred. Anyone ever see pix of Jesse James? He looks like a grade-A sociopath, which it sounds like he was. Only the loathsome Pinkertons could turn him into a hero.
ReplyDeleteBut I digress!
https://www.pinstripealley.com/2022/5/27/23144042/yankees-prospects-deivi-garcia-derek-dietrich-volpe-seigler-torrealba-dominguez
ReplyDeleteDeivi GarcÃa 1.2 IP, 3 R, 5 H, 1 HR — lost feeling in his fingers when throwing his breakers
Uh oh... Didn't that happen to Coney?
And thanks for those stats, Zach. Or rather, thanks for making me vomit up breakfast.
ReplyDeleteI say, put Joey in the leadoff spot. Order him to bunt, every time, until the other team stops running a shift. I suspect we will get him on base constantly for at least a couple games. After that, he'll probably get a few more hits with with the shift gone. After that...get rid of him for lottery tickets.
And Justin Verlander...Justin Verlander...why is that name so familiar? Didn't we have a chance to get him five years ago?
ReplyDeleteOh, right. Sonny Gray was available.
Hoss,
ReplyDeleteRe: Gallo
That's a good plan but it makes WAY too much sense.
Better to bat Hicks lead off (Which these putzes actually tried!)
Oh- I believe you…I got it wrong! Thanks for setting me straight. I believe it is important to get these things right. Ford was the one. Not Whitey, though.
ReplyDeleteSomebody on the radio the other day suggested a rule that Gallo and Hicks don't play at the same time...
ReplyDeleteIt's well past the time that Hicks should be the last man off the bench. Undoubtedly he has lingering issues with both his wrist and his elbow, but now he even takes poor routes on fly balls. And please, forget about Florial, he was once a top tier prospect, but so was Drew Henson.
ReplyDeleteKevin,
ReplyDeleteYes, it would seem that Florial is not the answer.
I think we've all seen enough to consider him AAAA. I was going to suggest getting Benintendi but I think he only plays left.
Don't know who they should target but Hicks must go and Florial can't stay.
Oh no Weez. Not setting straight. I've read a few books about the subject and figured I'd flex my cranial muscles. Showin' off...sort of
ReplyDeleteNot for nothing, and I am just an old baseball fart who has merely watched or played the game since 1960, but why is Judge leading off?
ReplyDeleteThe guy leads the MLB in HRs, he is our only consistent RBI threat every time up and we start a game with him?
Why not IKF or Torres or even MarGon today?
Seriously you astute baseball folks? Is there a reason other than to appear esp. brainy?
Really, any answers? Am I missing something?
IKF has a .310 OBP. Marwin has a .286 OBP. Torres has a .276 OBP.
ReplyDeleteIf you're gonna bat someone ahead of Judge, it needs to be someone who actually gets on base.
I think the Yankees bat Judge leadoff simply to maximize the number of plate appearances he gets. With how hideous the lineup is right now, you need to give your only great hitter as many chances as possible to swing the bat. Or anyway, that's the logic.
Personally I'd bat Rizzo and his .344 OBP leadoff for now.
Donaldson has just been moved to the IL with "shoulder inflammation"... I'm having a tough time believing that given the Yankee's propensity for lying about injuries and the current miasma surrounding Donaldson
ReplyDeleteTonight's lineup is a crapshoot, unfortunately more crap than shoot...
@Arch...the same reason that Toronto has Springer leading off....to maximize his per game at bats. They feel he is their best all-around hitter for power and average plus he draws a lot of walks. Kind of the same with Judge.
ReplyDeleteRight. So here's the pro and con:
ReplyDelete—Judge gets more at-bats, and can presumably get on base more often and hit more home runs.
BUT:
—Judge is also, now, AUTOMATICALLY hitting once every game with nobody on base. And every other time, he is hitting after what are presumably the worst hitters in the lineup...thereby drastically reducing his RBI opportunities. And, thereby putting less pressure on the pitchers, who would be more stressed having to pitch to Judge with men on base.
I don't think the trade-off is worth it.
Matt put Marwin on Notice
ReplyDeleteSo: 1st and 2nd , nobody out, why isn’t Gonzalez, an awful hitter, bunting? Could’ve cost us a run in a what will likely be a low scoring game. C’mon Boone, that’s indefensible!
ReplyDeleteJust looked at stats for fun and Sanchez has stolen a base this year with the Twins. I can't believe we left that nimble-footed guy go. Cashman, you moron!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhat was Sterling's HR call for Carpenter? Was it "He's only just begun?"
ReplyDeleteLook at Gleyber out there with the swag of Soriano ....w/o the stats
ReplyDeleteYeah, what was Sterling's call for Carp?
ReplyDeleteSterling's HR call for Carpenter:
ReplyDelete"Carpenter heads around the bases he'll touch em' all"
Who had "Carpenter Nails One" on their bingo card?
ReplyDeleteDidn’t Beauregard suggest “Carpenter got wood” …?
ReplyDeleteRanger - good one
ReplyDeleteAm I missing something with that call?
ReplyDeleteeh...don't think so @JM...
ReplyDeleteYou know if you can read my mind, I won’t need to speak it any more :)
ReplyDeleteI mean, hammered one, nailed it, something. He didn't even try.
ReplyDelete@JM there’s a Twitter user called John Sterling Calls…that’s how I found his Matt call…
ReplyDelete1. I vote for Carpenter nailed it. The double entendre (triple?) is too good.
ReplyDelete2. WTF is AnDUjar doing batting cleanup? I mean, he's barely capable of making it out of Scranton? Yankees' management really sucks in developing talent.
3. Fuck you HAL.
4. Fuck you Brain.
What do you mean he didn’t even try? Carpenter nailed one is EVERYTHING WE WANT in a John Sterling home run call. It’s the Top Gun Maverick of home run calls… objectively pretty stupid but Sterling-nostalgia prevents you from doing anything but love it.
ReplyDeleteYankees Win!!!
ReplyDeleteWait, he said nailed it? I take it back.
ReplyDeleteW... Holmes is amazing. Taillon wasn't too bad, either.
No he didn’t…
ReplyDeleteI have about a 2 minute delay on the master's xm broadcast.
ReplyDeleteEven though, the master was over the top on his win warble.
I think he is putting his all into what will regrettably be his last season. I am saddened in advance.
I thought you said he said…. I’m gonna have to wait for the post game and hear it myself
ReplyDeleteIt’s official…. John gave him nothing.
ReplyDeleteBut Suzyn says he looks like Sam Elliot in Tombstone. Maybe that will be the angle, assuming Suzyn is still blowing John
ReplyDeleteNuthin’ like good pitching…
ReplyDeleteSlight delay between "Carpenter" and "heads around the bases"...I suspect he would've said "nails it" but had second thoughts for whatever reason and so backed out of the call. I'm going blame it on him smashing his elbow on the desktop for at least the nineteenth time this visit to Tampa. His count; not mine.
ReplyDeleteIf this team goes all the way this year, with all it's in season ups and downs, you DO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN< RIGHT!!!!? Cashman will be declared a genius and will be a fixture in all our world's future tomorrow think tanks. He will be a GAWD. Is this what we want, people?
ReplyDeleteMissed the game, was working, but that is a tidy box score.
ReplyDeleteWinny - Please don't tell us you were shifting at the local While Castle?
ReplyDeleteIf this team actually wins, I'll be happy to call Cashman my daddy. Damn, but good pitching cures a host of ills.
ReplyDeleteI could never call Cashman my Daddy . . . regardless of the outcome because frankly we look nothing alike. N O T H I N G !
ReplyDeleteAnother take on Judge leading off. Judge hitting second will rarely make a difference in abs, he should hit second so that at least he gets an occasional shot at a game opening two-fer. Personally I believe in him batting third, but the software says otherwise. Of course software doesn't understand that pitchers can get rattled by base-runners and such.....
ReplyDeleteAA, if I was shifting at The Castle, you'd be able to smell the farts wherever you are if you're on the East Coast. (I'm certain Scottish Fan would be safe.)
ReplyDeleteJudge First or second or third won't make much difference. But I like him in the 2 spot. I'd like the 2 spot better if there was anyone who could consistently get on base in front of him.
ReplyDeleteHa! Winnie, that's the crux of the biscuit, isn't it? 🤔
ReplyDeleteIcing on the cake, Orioles, down by six, scored ten unanswered runs from the seventh inning on to beat the fucking Red Sox 12-8! The great Jackie Gleason said it best, "How sweet it is"!
ReplyDeleteLove it, too, Kevin!
ReplyDeleteBut as to the software, I don't quite understand. Doesn't the total run production depend on who is in front of him? I mean, if every other batter in the Yankees' lineup hits exactly the same then, yeah, batting him first makes the most sense.
But if, say, there is an extreme drop-off in batters 7-9, or 6-9....which, ahem, there IS...then it doesn't make sense.
I want him in the three spot—especially when Stanton is in the lineup (always an unknown, I realize!).
To me, the secret is piling up power as much as possible, so pitchers can't escape.
ReplyDeleteWasn't this what happened with the Yankees in the nineties? Okay, maybe Knoblauch should not have been leading off (though his OBPs were usually pretty good).
But after that; Jeter, Bernie, Paulie, Tino, the DH/LF, or some combination thereof. With Posada moving up a little later. The idea was one hitter after another you couldn't escape...
...Final proof: Ruth and Gehrig, 3-4, producing runs at an unheard-of pace. Would they have been better off hitting 1-2?
ReplyDeleteOkay, sure, you don't have the pitcher batting in today's game, so it's a little different. But still.
The problem facing the Yankees is not to move a natural, 3 or 4 hitter like Judge into the 1 or 2 spot. It's getting better OBP guys 1-2.
Right on, Horace!
ReplyDelete