Why is this picture of Hoss' family appearing under my byline?
Well, it's time for our annual "Let's Grade The First Half of the Season"
I don't have any pictures of my family that go back that far. Something about Cossacks.
Outfielders
Right Field: Giancarlo Stanton
Doug K:
Grade: A/C
AYGHAB 8.0 on the first pitch. Varies greatly after that depending on which Stanton is up. I have to give him two different grades because clearly there are two Stantons.
It all depends on his front leg. When he keeps it for the
most part planted, he is one of the best hitters I’ve ever seen. Power, power
and more power. When he moves that front leg, he swings so hard and cluelessly
that he finishes outside the batter’s box and half way to the opposing dugout.
He’s like a golfer that can’t keep his head down. He’s all birdies and triple bogies.
HoraceClarke666
This is
the sort of mealy-mouthed indecision I expect from a “good teacher” like you,
Doug!
Stanton
is what he always is, only less so. The guy takes up an enormous amount of the
payroll to produce that identical, mechanical swing, over and over and over
again. Plus he runs like a robot. The guy is clearly in decline at 32—look at
those rising strikeout (76) and falling doubles (6) figures, and a .237 BA.
He does
seem able to stay off the DL more, for which I give him a:
C+
Center Field: Aaron Judge
Doug K.
Grade A+
AYGHAB: 8.5
The guy is having a great year. OK he’s slumped a bit
recently but he’s, finally, getting walk offs, and is good with getting base
hits in big situations instead of swinging for the fences,
HoraceClarke666
What?
Rank grade inflation. All right, all right, even I can’t bitch about Judge this
year.
A
Left Field: Joey Gallo
Doug K.
Grade: B
AYGHAB: 1
NOTE: He gets a one only
because the scale lacks negative numbers. This is Stephen Drew territory.
This is Ira Mertnick land.
Note on the note: Ira
went to my summer camp. He could barely pick up the softball bat much less
swing it. It was sad. He was also a rock magnet. Didn’t matter where you threw
the rock, somehow it changed direction in mid-air and hit Ira.
That said, a B for Joey Gallo.
Yeah, that’s right, a B. Why you ask? Is it his stellar
defense which actually just seems to be good not great, his ability to walk?
Not really. Do I feel sorry for him? Yeah, I do but that’s not why either.
Truth is, I like Anthony Rizzo and to a lesser extent Josh
Donaldson. So?
So, both of them are really not as good as advertised and if
we did a deep dive, we might turn our collective ire on them. Gallo is our
lightening rod of discontent. He takes the heat off of every other bad
performance. Our rock magnet.
Stanton goes 0 for 5 with four strikeouts? Rizzo pops up
with guys in scoring position? Donaldson can’t hit righties or lay off the high
fastball… Hey Gallo’s up! G-d does he suck!
Yes, he does. But “The Gallo Effect” makes everyone else
look good!
He gets a B and hopefully gets traded today!
HoraceClarke666
Aww,
don’t go breakin’ my heart, Kiki Dee! (Not to be confused with Kiki Cuyler.)
Gallo’s
bad? He’s beyond bad! And even by his own standards! As noted in this space,
since coming to the Yankee, he’s dropped his already pathetic, .211 lifetime
average by 9 points.
So
without him, somebody else would get some flak. So what? Last time I looked,
this is professional baseball. And unless Ira Metnick became an
accountant for the mob, he ain’t making the $10.275 mill Joey Gallo is pulling
in this year.
F- Only because it can’t be lower.
DH/Outfield/Infield: Matt “The Sheriff” Carpenter
Doug K.
Grade A+
AYGHAB: Oh yeah! That’s right, no number needed.
As my friend Marc says, “Dis Fucking Guy…” Best acquisition in the last 20 years. He looks like a western sheriff
from the 1870’s. Flinty eyes. No nonsense. Here to clean up the town or more
accurately clear off the bases. Great
back story. Another guy who knows how to win.
HoraceClarke666
All
right, gotta agree with you there. I’d even give him another “+” if not for the porn ’stache. Actually, I
kinda like that, too. I had one back in the day, if ya know what I mean.
A+
LF Aaron Hicks
Doug K.
Grade: Is meh a
grade?
AYGHAB: 5 (Unless
there’s two on then 5.3 because sometimes, he nails one)
I actually forgot to write him up. I’m good with that.
HoraceClarke666
Here is
the one time I’m actually going to be lenient.
I agree:
Hicks’ contract was a mystifying abomination, and more than likely he’ll be
back on the DL soon.
But
while I won’t say he’s actually clutch, there’s sort of a clutch gene in him,
if you know what I mean. Witness the home run—when playing while injured,
looking at you Giancarlo—to extend the 2019 ALCS vs. Houston, the incredible
catch against Minnesota…and now, sending Mr. Sale back to the DL. There’s something to the guy.
C (Hey,
let’s not get carried away!)
OF Tim Locastro
HoraceClarke666
Limited
time due to injury and putznik Cashman, of course, but really a valuable
contributor when he does play.
A
Doug K.
What you wrote is incontrovertible.
Infielders
First Base: Anthony
Rizzo
Doug K:
Hey! Eyes over here!
Grade: B
AYGHAB 7.5
As stated above I like this guy. He’s a Champion. Knows how
to win. He keeps Aaron Judge focused and probably is helping him deal with whole,
“Baseball is a business. Take the money.” thing. Plus,
they are Covid Shot buddies. Late to the concept but took one for the team. (Or
found a DR. willing to say they did. Maybe Dr. Vinnie Boom Bats!)
Great Defense. Makes the whole infield better. An ACTUAL
first baseman not a circus strong man or an outfielder with bad knees.
I love that he chokes up with two strikes. But What’s with
the .224 BA?
HoraceClarke666
I
largely agree, Doug, you lucky son of a bitch. But the .224—42 points below his
lifetime BA—should get him more points off.
B-
Second Base: Gleyber Torres
Doug K.
Grade B+
AYGHAB 7.8
He’s turned it around. No complaint on the fielding. Goes
the other way. Can be clutch. That said,
if we had a stat called AYGHOB (Are You Glad He’s On The Basepaths) he’d get a
3.2. Don’t they teach this stuff? Oh,
and get the kid a pair of glasses.
HoraceClarke666
Yeah,
pretty much agree. His ability to lose concentration at any given moment still
annoys, and he’s never going to be the rock on which this team is built. But
still, much improvement and a nice comeback year.
B+
Shortstop: IKF
Doug K.
Grade C
AYGHAB 5.8
A little less than advertised on both sides of the ball.
Then again, he was a Gold Glove THIRD BASEMAN not shortstop so I’m not sure I
understand what Hal was thinking other than, "save money." Serviceable? A
footnote. Wanna give him a C+? Sure, go
ahead.
HoraceClarke666
I give
him less! Yeah, hard to blame him for his defensive deficiencies playing at his
second-best position. But NO home runs at the All-Star break? In today’s game?
C-
Third Base: Josh Donaldson
Doug K.
Grade: B
AYGHAB: 6.3
He defense is solid.
He can’t really hit anymore. Plus, he’s kind of a putz. That said, he’s
another of the professional winners that they brought in this year. It’s made
all the difference. We’re in every game now even when we’re behind because of
guys like Donaldson. Would we be better
off with Gio? Maybe but if that was the price for getting rid of Sanchez it was
a good one.
That said, in the off season (because we have him next year)
he should go study with whoever fixed Carpenter!
HoraceClarke666
As
always, you are too kind, Doug. Yeah, Crusty Rusty’s had his moments, but he’s
worn through. He might be able to produce some big moments in the second half,
but this was really a terrible acquisition.
And
“putz” doesn’t begin to describe it. I defended him against the LaRussa/Jackie
Anderson set up, but—an unforced error.
C-
Super Utility Man: DJ LeMahieu
Doug K.
Grade: A
AYGHAB: 8.2
Professional hitter and in many ways the most important
Yankee. Started slow but is reverting to the mean in the best way. Does it all well.
HoraceClarke666
Yeah,
nice to see DJ bounce back. He’s not a batting champ or a near-MVP anymore, but
he’s invaluable, in so many ways. So glad the Sox didn’t manage to maim him.
A-
INF/OF: Marwin Gonzalez
HoraceClarke666
Thoroughly
mediocre, but plays anywhere, hustles, does all right.
C+
Doug K.
Grade: I’ll grade him on the curve and give him a B
because he’s better than I thought he would be. It’s all relative.
AYGHAB: 6
Catchers
Catcher: Jose
Trevino
Grade: A+
AYGHAB: 7.1
Obviously, a great last minute pick-up and an unexpected all-star.
Offensively it would behoove him to not try to do too much. If he doesn’t press,
he is rock solid. Plus having a catcher that, uh… can catch, is what turned
around the pitching staff.
HoraceClarke666
Hey,
Yogi Berra is an A+, okay? Or Bill Dickey, Elston Howard, Thurman Munson, or
Jorge Posada.
But I’ll
give him a high grade for just the reasons you cite, Doug. Don’t know where
we’d be without him.
A-
Catcher: Kyle Higashioka
Doug K.
Grade D
AYGHAB: 3.8
Higgy can go. I know
that it’s mid-season and the pitchers are comfortable with him but there’s
really nothing there, which is too bad. Hopefully, Brain avoids the temptation to add Wilson Contreras because
he’s a number 1 catcher and Trevino has earned that right. If Higgy stays the rest of the year, that’s OK too.
HoraceClarke666
I agree.
Sad to see.
D
Catcher: Ben Rortvedt
HoraceClarke666
“Student
has been absent so much he has been reported as truant. Seems to evince no interest
in any subject save gym. Spends all his spare time on the weight machines.”
Incomplete—with
a strong recommendation he be transferred to another school system.
Doug K.
Sounds about right.
Tomorrow: Starting Pitching!
Love you guys (no, not *that* way!), b-b-but...
ReplyDeleteNo way Joey Callo gets rated above an F-. So, we'd bitch about someone else if he's not here? Yes! That's what we do!
And Donaldson is a disappointment. C-, Yankees got all of the negatives they expected and none of the positives. If he hits a couple of clutch homers in meaningful games from here out, my mind can be changed. But not about what he's done so far.
I would rate Gary Sanchez a A+++. He's been that important to this team.
And if bad teacher is giving out grades, I want to be kept after class.
How about a grade for Refsnyder?
ReplyDeleteWhattaya talk, Doug? That picture's from 1971.
ReplyDeleteHoss,
ReplyDeleteOh it's you. I got all excited that someone actually read this. :)
I feel bad for Gallo, but definitely an F or F-. And sadly, have to agree about Higgy. He'll go somewhere and become Refsnyder, I bet. But he won't in New York.
ReplyDeleteDonaldson sucks. Some good, timely hits, yes, even against righties now and then. But he just sucks. Whereas Rizzo, also with a lousy average, is great imo because of the dingers and the incredible defense. He's saved so many lousy throws I've lost count.
And I'm usually glad to see IKF bat with men on base. He's not a power hitter, but how many of those do we really need? He's turned in some nice plays playing out of position, and I don't care if he doesn't have a home run to his name. That's not his role. On this team, it doesn't matter.
Gleyber has his faults, but I'm glad to see him at least approximate his old self at the plate. A relief.
Overall, it's hard to argue with you guys. Good job!
ReplyDeleteDitto. I have no quibbles, except that you neglected to send me the blonde's contact info.
This was brilliant Guys, funny as hell and spot ON,,,, and extra thanks for reminding me how hot Cameron Diaz was, hubba hubba!
ReplyDeleteThanks, guys.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, hard to go wrong with Cameron Diaz, as she looked in "Bad Teacher."