I stayed up all night with my bottle of Crown Royal Reserve, and a new snack ( a cracker with dried jalapeños and strawberries--thank, you Trader Joes), to provide this professional analysis:
The Heroes for the Yankees during the first ( insert number ) games of the 2022 season:
1. Matt Carpenter - True and reliable professional. Can play even with just a mustache. Knows how to hit, and when.
2. Tim LoCastro - From Syracuse, NY. Speedy and can play outfield. Perhaps our best hitter if recent experience is our guide.
3. Ryan Weber - Red Sox killer. Our version of Boston's best starter.
4. Ben Rortvelt - If this weight-lifter hadn't pulled a gonad, he would be in NYC instead of our latest All Star Trevino.
5. Tyler Wade - He came and went and returned again. So we have sideline speed if we ever need it.
6. Aaron Hicks - He finally got a single that mattered.
7. Domingo German - Each team needs a player they can pretend will make a difference when times call for it.
8. Ron Marinaccio - The best excuse in the world for some alone time; "The Dead Arm." Like the Living Dead of baseball.
9. Luis Gil - He volunteered to keep our surgical team sharp, so to speak.
10. Aroldis Chapman - He sweats and bleeds for this team.
11. Joe Gallo - Volunteers at the West Bronx Barbering School for the Blind.
Enjoy the Derek Jeter Documentary after you watch the Home Run Derby. I expect to be resting for about 36 hours.
ReplyDeleteYou've earned it.
You''ve Earned It, as was said by Bryce to Tim, following Tim' s flutter of the fingers and humble acceptance of the DQ hamburger championship.
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