A Message for Randy

This one is courtesy of DickAllen, who passed on Randy Levine's comment regarding the Yankees' 3-Dimensional Chess game with Aaron Judge:

"What we'll talk about with him and his representatives in the off-season is, 'How do we keep him?' And then it will be up to him to see, does he want to play here [or] does he want to go someplace else? Is somebody offering him a better deal?"

Oh, Randy. Sweet, dear, poor, naive, empty-headed Randy. 

No doubt, HAL's Imp No. 2 thinks this is oh-such-clever maneuvering. One can almost picture Jon Lovitz doing his "Tales of Ribaldry," pinky finger to mouth, on SNL.

Stop it. 

Here is a message from Tombstone, namely the one that Kurt Russell's Wyatt Earp delivers to Billy Bob Thornton's bumpkin, when he threatens to draw on Earp over a poker game:

"Go ahead. You go ahead and skin that smoke wagon, and see what happens."

Yeah, you go ahead, Randy. You go ahead and lowball Aaron Judge again, and try to pass that off as Judge just wanting to go elsewhere. Tell your boss, too. 

There were reasonable arguments for trading Aaron Judge before this season, if the Yankees didn't want to shell out for the sort of contract he will surely get. That is, an argument that entailed getting a bushel of terrific young players and prospects in exchange.

But that was not something that was done, and not something that Brian Cashman or anybody else in the Yankees' front office could ever do.

In other words, you made this bed, fellas: time to get comfy in it. Open up the vault, start hauling out the

money. (Doesn't even have to be HAL's own money! I'm sure that a small percentage of the money the good people of New York have given his family over these many years will suffice.)

Just tip your hat, call him your daddy—and sign the fucking check.

After watching Aaron Judge play like this down the stretch—after watching him play like this surrounded by nothing more than minor leaguers, flame-outs, and professional malingerers—if you think that you don't have to sign him, you and your boss are sadly mistaken.

If you really think that Yankees fans are STILL going to stick around to watch Giancarlo Stanton sit on the bench for 50-150 games a year—if you think we're going to really dig the Tots Bader era—well, have another think.

Or as Wyatt Earp would say:

Go ahead. Go ahead and skin that smoke wagon, and see what happens.

Oh, incidentally: Randy has been bragging recently that he seems to be descended from Marie Antoinette. That should be instructional to him, and to HAL.

Take note of what happens to seemingly invulnerable monarchs, guys, when they don't see that they've pushed people just a little too far.