Sunday, September 18, 2022

Loss column lead down to five, and Frankie the Yankee might need a hanky

Well, well, well... here we go again. That grinding sound you hear? Not to worry. It's just the wheels falling off.

Once again, the Death Barge gave us a brief glimpse of hope, a flash of its bare breasts - just enough to make us relax and ponder the upcoming Giants-Jets Super Bowl. We foresaw New York magically christened as the City of Champions, the professional sports capital of America, with weekly parades along the Canyon of Heroes and enhanced parlays for covering the point spread. We were gonna win... something. Even the Knicks. It was gonna be great.

And now... I speet on this team. Pttuui. If we're swept today by the "Brew Crew" - a team that doesn't even wear its true name on its jersey - we could face Toronto next week with the AL East on the line, a fate we could not have fathomed back in June. Here we go again: Panic Mode - frantically churning roster slots in search of a savior, any savior, because Aaron Judge cannot hit three home runs per game. 

I'm getting tired of watching Aaron Boone, beaten and abused, try to find joy in another gruesome night. He needs to punch the table again - or simply tell his YES masters to fuck off, that's he got nothing to say, tonight's post-game show starring Bagdad Bob is canceled, and it's time for a few harsh screams in a closed clubhouse. 

But Boone won't miss a show. That's what he's there for - the long-faced presser with Suzyn and Meredith, in which he explains-away another sorry outcome.   

Here's a question: Why should the Yankees expect Judge to see any decent pitches, when the man behind him - his protector, supposedly - is fitted nightly for the Golden Sombrero? Do the Yankees have a strategy for Giancarlo Stanton? I guess so. And here it is: Wait. That's all. Wait. 

Boone figures Stanton will probably get hot - there's a chance he's done, but the odds are, if they just keep running him out there, day after day, strikeout after strikeout, sombrero after sombrero, he'll start hitting. It might take a week. It's been practically two months. His batting average is down to .212. He homered twice against Tampa last week, made us think he was back - prompting Boston to pitch to him - haha. But Milwaukee isn't biting and now this: five Ks eight at-bats. And our game plan? Wait. 

Meanwhile, brace yourselves for the loss of - gasp - Frankie Montas, who might be nearing the dreaded, secret Gray/Jacoby/Pavano wing of Monument Park. The recent trade deadline is shaping up as Brian Cashman's career worst, a churning of rancid butter. Nearly every deal has gone south. All that's left is for Harrison Bader to tweak a gonad, or JP Sears to throw a no-hitter. Right now, the best deal we made might turn out to be Joey Gallo for "World" Beeter, down at Double A. 

Montas is having an MRI on his pitching shoulder. We've seen that movie before. The Yankees are already pooh-poohing it - just a precaution, he won't miss a start! - but don't mind the strange popping sounds. It's just the lug nuts, falling into the ditch, as the carriage begins to list.

13 comments:

  1. So the "hope" from the ca$hole fiasco at this year's trade deadline is down to Beeter and Bader.

    I was going to write "comes down to " but it just looked so wrong.

    Anywho, what a pant load from the genius intern.

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  2. Yep...Master Beeter and Master Bader. Self-abuse indeed

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  3. What a terrible GM, sad manager, and lousy team.

    Hey, how 'bout those New York Giants?

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  4. JM

    "Hey, how 'bout those New York Giants?"

    I'll let you know at 4:30.

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  5. 'Rancid butter' is about right.

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  6. Or getting your laps in butterflying in a pool filled with vagrant vomit….

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  7. "It might take a week
    It might take a month
    But he's goin' to Breakdown City
    Breakdown City
    Here Stanton comes.
    He got that 1-2-3-4
    Or more!
    Strikeouts a game..."

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  8. I'm back to rooting for a total collapse, sooooooo frustrated with this team, AND I DESPISE it's mismanagement!

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  9. My nominees for worst non-trade loss this season are Carpenter and Benintendi. Carp wins by a landslide.

    Worst trade loss is all the young pitchers we gave away for shit. Unconscionable, irresponsible. Gross malfeasance by the GM.

    If this was any other team, the GM would've been fired already along with the manager. Too bad it's not any other team.

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  10. Not An Ace pitches today. I wonder how many home runs the Brewers hit off him? They do hit a lot of home runs, as a rule.

    Thinking the stars are going to come back and suddenly we'll be a great team is so delusional, only Boone and Cashman would believe it. These guys are baked. The first half was amazing, then everyone got tired and/or hurt, and Cashman exacerbated the pain with his terrible trades, all of which look like they may come back to haunt us for years to come.

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  11. Watch the Giants squander their road upset victory in TN and lose an agonizing home opener against the lowly Panthers.

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  12. Is it my imagination or has Stanton struck out about 2/3 or higher in his at bats since he came off the IL? I haven't been watching as much lately because I've been busy having my nose and ear hairs clipped.

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  13. Since his return, CJW, Stanton has struck out a mere 23 times in 73 plate appearances and 64 at-bats.

    However, since going up to Boston, he has struck out 11 times in 17 plate appearances.

    Obviously, something is not right. Again. Obviously, it will take the geniuses in our front office and dugout at least another week to acknowledge this. Again.

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