Monday, November 7, 2022

Yankees Announce New Outfield for 2023

 



The New York Yankees today announced their new outfield alignment for 2023. Going from left to right, it will be Giancarlo Stanton, Samantha Judge, and Aaron Judge.

It is believed to be the first time that any major-league team has played a husband and wife in the outfield, although the Pittsburgh Pirates did go with a keystone combo of Bill and Maisie Mazeroski in 1959.

The signing of Samantha was part of a "two-for-one" deal that lured her husband back into the Yankees' fold. Asked about the status of Yankees centerfielder Tots Bader, acquired at the trade deadline in 2022, general manager Brian Cashman revealed that he would be traded back to the St. Louis Cardinals for Jordan Montgomery.

"Look, everybody gave me so much tsuris over that deal," Cashman barked at reporters, in an uncharacteristically direct interview.  "So now it's done. So get the fuck off my back already!" 

Cashman also noted that Samantha Judge had run the recent New York Marathon in just over four hours, showing that she is inured to most injuries, and will easily be able to get to balls that Stanton could only wave at before. Under the Yankees' new defensive scheme, Stanton is now supposed to be a "wall man," stationed next to the outfield fence to leap for anything too high for the shorter Judge to reach.

"This is momentous. This is game-changing. This is epic," claimed Cashman, who at the same time refused to say that Aaron Hick had definitely lost his place in the Yankees' outfield.






4 comments:

  1. "and will easily be able to get to balls that Stanton could only wave at before. Under the Yankees"

    Uh... Hoss?

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's like poetry, Doug. we all see things differently...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now, Doug! We don't have room for that sort of filth on this site!

    ReplyDelete

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