Wednesday, January 25, 2023

The Max Kepler trade rumors beg one question: Why would the Yankees seek another Aaron Hicks?

You know the theory: A butterfly that flaps its papery wings in China somehow creates the bomb cyclone that devastates Buffalo. On that note, here is today's giant Rube Goldberg Machine of Fate: 

Yesterday, the Twins traded for a veteran CF named Michael A. Taylor, creating a logjam in their outfield. That prompts rumors that Minnesota will trade leftfielder Max Kepler, possibly to the Yankees. 

Which raises questions: Who the eff is Max Kepler? (Note: Born in Germany, he surely is a distant relative of Johannes Kepler, the 17th century astronomer now remembered with a massive telescope. Perhaps Max Kepler's ability to project planetary movements will help Aaron Boone plan his pitching rotation.) Are the rumors valid? And why would we view Kepler as an upgrade over Aaron Hicks?

For the record, Kepler will turn 30 in two weeks. He bats LH,  which is a must, and he's a moose: 6'4." Four years ago, he hit 36 HRs for Minnesota. Since then, he been a twig: batting averages of .228, .211 and .227, with little power. Whatever he showed in 2019, it seems to have left the building. 

Okay, let's acknowledge the chance that someone in the Yankee brain trust - maybe a new executive? - sees something in Kepler. Maybe he suffered injuries or life issues. Maybe he's the type who can rescue a flagging career by altering his approach. Some players can. Maybe Max Kepler has a second act.

But for now, obtaining Kepler would mean the Yankees basically replace Aaron Hicks with, gulp, another Aaron Hicks. (Or worse, they collect a second Aaron Hicks.) The similarities: 

1. Both would come in trades with Minnesota.

2. Neither has hit higher than .227 over the last three years. (Hicks' career average: .231. Kepler's: .232.)

3. Both are pushing, if not having passed, his sell-by date. Kepler will be 30, Hicks 33. 

4. Both are costly. Kepler will earn $8.5 million this year; Hicks will make $28 million over the next three. 

5. According to Baseball Reference, both are statistical career doppelgangers with Don Lock, Curt Blefary and Gregory Polanco, three rather forgettable players. 

So... if the rumors are true, the Yankees would replace Hicks with a slightly younger version of Hicks. Why? 

Okay, with any trade, the devil's in the details. Maybe they'd get Kepler in a big three-way, a cascade of prospects, pitchers, money, draft picks, dogs and cats, Herschel Walker - the whole nine yards. Should the Yankees roil their farm system for Max Kepler? Is he our answer in LF? Yikes. We need to start eradicating butterflies in China.

17 comments:

  1. This would be stupid, financially wasteful and counterproductive. All the hallmarks of a Cashman deal, so it's probably happening.

    By the way, Johannes Kepler had a big telescope, but they said the same about Chaplin and Bogart. Hard to know without first-hand accounts.

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  2. Its moments like these that I hide my first born from Cashman's palace guards and flee with the missus and the kids to the Sinai Desert.

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  3. Why the focus on Kepler? It's Brian Cashman. The Twins outfield logjam opens up an opportunity to trade for a young-ish, left-handed slugger who's won 2 gold gloves. Welcome back, Joey!

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  4. Milton Berle supposedly had a telescope big enough to see into the Canis Major Dwarf. I don't know this for a fact though.

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  5. Why not get Max Headroom, what's the difference. I agree with JM, it's such a stupid idea so you know Cashman will make the trade. And when things go to shit in June, he'll blame injuries.

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  6. It's a conspiracy. A Karmic payback. A pact with the devil. Call it what you will, but there is something going on here:

    I believe that in return for beating the dickens out of the Twinkies for so many years, the Yankees have agreed to reparations in the form of relieving them of Hicks, Donaldson and now, perhaps, Kepler.

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  7. @JM....Most claim that Milton Berle had the biggest telescope in Hollywood followed closely by James Woods and Michael Caine.

    In these situations, when rumors seem to be more than rumors, hopefully, Brian Sabean will earn his salary.

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  8. Please don't denigrate Curt Blefary by comparing him to Hicks.
    He had some nice seasons with a very good Baltimore team. He seems to have fallen off a cliff around age 28.
    I'm guessing that it was injuries, which weren't treated as well as they are today, or substance abuse of some kind.
    I met him as an impressionable Little Leaguer when I was 9 or 10 and he was real nice, at least that is what I remember from around 55 years ago.

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  9. Has a trade with Minnesota ever worked out?

    The Donaldson one didn't.

    The Hicks one didn't.

    Knoblauch? (Not sure if it was a trade but) didn't.

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  10. Great catch, Duque. Kepler has only hit over .250 once. The answer is Geek GM who follows his Geek Analytics Department. Cashman has dealt with the Twins before and believes he can pull one over on them. That is why it will be thirteen years and no World Series appearance for the Yankees.

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  11. Easy no to Kepler, regardless of the deal. To refresh, 2019 was the year of the juiced ball, when Gardner hit 28 hrs, Torres 38, Sanchez 34…many power results were skewed. Luckily, his 8.5M contract will preclude any deal. Some pundits theorize a Hicks for Kepler swap sweetened by our throwing in a few “prospects”, but I believe Twins GM Thad Levine is too sharp for that. He owned us last year with the JD trade. I’m sure he’d be only too happy to bend Cashman over again.

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  12. @ Dick Allen:

    You are correct about the reparations but the wrong team. When the Yankees signed up for the "Boston Curse" upon The Babe's sale in 1920, their legal team, probably lead by someone as astute as Hiram Katz, Esq. from Curb Your Enthusiasm, they overlooked the clause in the contract that at an unspecified time some 75 years in the future, the team would be required to hire and be saddled with an incompetent and smug GM for a minimum of 25 years. His real name is not Brian Cashman. His true identity is Asmodeus, spawn of Satan.

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  13. This is a distraction from the actual deal the Yanks are working on...be patient...

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  14. Carl Weitz, you're probably right! See my post from last year about the Devil's little-known visit to Jacob Rupert's very eerie mansion. True story!!!



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  15. Unless the deal is Kepler for Donaldson—all right, Kepler for Biceptvedt—the answer is no. NO. Non, nyet, nein. Uh-uh, no way, fahgeddaboutit. Never gonna happen, my friend. Never in this lifetime.

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  16. @ Horace...I do remember that post now that you've mentioned it. Perhaps it was a subliminally inspired idea!

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  17. In a related Jasson Dominguez post from The Athletic...


    https://theathletic.com/4099209/2023/01/24/yankees-prospect-jasson-dominguez/

    For anyone having a problem because the paywall do this:

    Go here- https://archive.md/

    Copy article url and paste into the red rectangle box at the top of the page.

    Click "save".

    Bob's your Uncle!

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