Wednesday, April 19, 2023

The latest running gag in NYC goes that the Yankees will land Ohtani. What a joke.

Lately, the parlor game in NYC is projecting the future home of Shohei Ohtani, as he grows tired of LA phonies, Kardashian influencers and Disneyland, which is basically just a giant Chuck E. Cheese. The narrative goes this way: 

Ohtani is done with the also-ran Angels and yearns to conquer the world's greatest baseball market - New York, New York ! Inevitably, he belongs in the House of Ruth. 

This is utter bullshit, of course, for several reasons.

1. The Yankees will never spend the money it will take to land Ohtani. This is not 1998, and Old George is not running rampant over Shiv, Roman and Kendall. If Ohtani truly wants to come East, he'll draw the biggest offer from the Mets - though they'll have to outbid Boston and Philly, too. 

It won't be Food Stamps Hal making the calls. The poor guy must shell out all that lost money to Hicksy, Giancarlo, Jackie Donaldson and "Rehab" Rodon, the new Sultan of Setbacks. 

And that's if Ohtani really wants to come East. The Rangers, Dodgers and Padres may have something to say about that. Hal spent to keep Aaron Judge because he had no other choice: Losing Judge would have destroyed the Yankee brand. 

If Ohtani comes knocking, Hal will hide under the bed, as he did for Bryce Harper and Manny Machado. It's been a long time since the Yankees were the biggest spenders in baseball. 

2. Frankly, what would be the point in signing Ohtani? Aside from pitching, his position in the field is DH - where the Yankees are filled through 2028. That's Giancarlo's slot, when he's not injured. 

There is no opening for a second DH, unless MLB  comes up with another rule change. Hmm. Should we start the campaign?

3. Finally, all this talk about Ohtani walking in the footsteps of Ruth on this week's 100th anniversary of Yankee Stadium's opening... is bogus crapola. 

For the record, the Yankees do not play in the House that Ruth Built. They razed it. They play in a sterile, 12-year-old ballpark with a disco, five-star steak house, kiddie playground and all the sporting traditions of the Vince Lombardi Thruway Rest Stop. They call it "Yankee Stadium." That's all.  

I hate to be so negative, but that's what happens after a loss like last night. The Yankees looked like a team from 2013, with Travis Hafner and the Grandyman. If the YES team hadn't brought in a likely stoned Woody Harrelson for a bizarre half-inning, there would have been nothing worth watching. 

When your first five batters go 1-for-16 - and your last four are Peraza, IKF, Higgy and Hicks - you don't have much going on. It sure is fun, playing parlor games.  

11 comments:

  1. I couldn’t agree more. This year you are paying close to a $100m to 5 players who don’t play. Next year Donaldson comes off the books, but $23m wont get Sadaharu Oh. It’s one thing when you sign players who end up sucking, they can be traded to someone who thinks a change of scenery might help. But no one wants players who are always hurt. This GM has just destroyed this franchise and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Stick Michael & Gabe Paul gave you the blueprint to build a winner, but this guy is too stupid to follow it.

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  2. They are more likely to get Trout...yes...really...

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  3. As you said, Stanton means no Othani. Which is actually OK with me. Not the Stanton part but A DH and an actual Ace can be had for less.

    We need a third baseman and, speaking of... Donaldson had a setback! That's good news.

    Yesterday was an interesting one for NY sports. With the Yankees trailing I switched to the Knicks who were in the process of having one of the worst games I've seen in recent memory. I switched over to the Rangers who totally kicked ass. Then I went back to the DVR and on fast forward made sure the Yankee and Knick games were the total losses I thought they were.

    Still, the Yankees will make the playoffs (wild card), the Mets will as well. The Knicks, Mets, Rangers, Devils, and Islanders are playoff teams. The NY Giants made it last year and might very well again and even the Jets if they get that egomaniacal douchebag Aaron Rodgers have a fair shot.

    I can't remember a time when this was the case.

    Not too shabby.

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  4. Correction: The second time I wrote Mets I meant to write Nets.

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  5. The inmates are running the asylum. And this ain't "King of Hearts."

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  6. Donaldson comes off the books next year but just watch they'll bring in another millstone to replace him.

    It is more likely that they'll get Trout than Ohtani. I think Trout might be a little too good to bring in though. They want to wait until he totally sucks and becomes a millstone, then they can go for it.

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  7. I suppose with some serious salary dumping the team could make an offer for Ohtani. (Remember even though Donaldson (23m) will be gone, we will have to pay him a $6m buyout which counts against the salary cap.) Severino and his 15m gone. IKF 6M gone. Torres traded (maybe) 10m. That’s 48m right there, but any players washed will need to replaced and others will be due raises.

    But the bigger question as Duque points out is - where to play him? Will he finally play in the OF? Does he split DH with Stanton, at least until Stanton inevitably gets hurt? I guess if you squint hard enough you can kinda sorta see it. But why would Ohtani come here? The Yankee cache, the brand, is no longer what it was and retiring every number in sight won’t change that. I guess most players are happy playing for a Mommy Manager like Boone, but is that really enough to move the sticks? All in all, unlikely we see Ohtani here, but I’d love it.

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  8. Great column, Duque, and great comments.

    No, Ohtani is never coming to the Bronx. And if he did, it might be yet another catastrophe for the Yankees.

    I hate to once again rank on the Wonder of the East, who is indeed an amazing player (though I could do without the ceremonial Japanese helmet he's now awarded after every home run).

    But let's remember:

    —Ohtani has yet to record a single chance at any position other than pitcher.

    —Ohtani missed a combined 114 games in his first two seasons, then only played 44 of the 60 in the shortened, Covid season, and hit. 190.

    —Ohtani has never pitched past the 7th inning, or recorded more than 15 major-league wins.

    —Ohtani is a lifetime .268 hitter, with an .886 OPS.

    The next Babe Ruth? With the Yanks, he's just as likely to be the next Babe Dahlgren, aging and injured all the time.

    This is what NYC teams do when they're in trouble: bring in a big, over-the-hill name, to save the box office. Sure, some of these guys aren't bad. But they're not what they were. Phil Esposito, Wayne Gretzky—they were very credible as Rangers. They weren't the future. Some cratered completely. (Looking at you, Kevin Youkilis.)

    Ohtani is a pipe dream, and not a good one.


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