Donaldson climbs out of hole and sees a gopher ball, signifying six more weeks of winter

Congrats to Jackie Donaldson, whose solo shot last night guarantees him a spot in the zombified Yankee lineup at least through the all-star break, if not the Aug. 1 trade deadline.

Somewhere in Cooperstown Cashman's mysterious iPad, an algorithm pegs every Donaldson HR - aka "solo shot" -to another 100 at bats, in a last chance trial run that seemingly will never end.   

Last night's HR would be welcome news, if Yank fans could forget the last 18 months of headache and distress. As it goes, we are torn by the deja vu of yet another former slugger in his final MLB incarnation, hitting just enough to conjure up yet another month of playing time, as we tread water, while our rivals power on. 

Honestly, I don't hate Donaldson. Last night, when he homered in the 5th, a romantic particle inside me fantasized that a return to Oakland, where his career began, facing baseball's worst team - maybe ever - would lift Donaldson back to solvency. He went 1-for-4, fanning twice, lifting his average to .132. From where he sits, you can't even see the Mendoza line. Anybody else on any other team in baseball would long ago have been stuffed in a bottle and put out with the Yucatan tide. But the Yankees slog onward, looking to build on Donaldson's big night.

Insert sigh here. 

Last night, we lost to a team of staggering mediocrity, a veritable Washington Generals, whose owner is monetizing ineptitude, using it to move the franchise to Las Vegas. Generally, you only find owners this evil in movies. And to this, the Yankees lost, their lone offense coming from the guy who is destined to disappear. Throughout last night's pregame show, the YES team talked up the Yanks' need for a sweep. Now, they seek to avoid one. 

But but BUT!... somehow, we remain in the wild card - America's yacht race of tomato cans. Seven games above .500 might do it. Come October, with Aaron Judge and Carlos Rodon presumably back, the Death Barge can hope for a three-week miracle. In theory, it could happen. So, come Aug. 1, they'll double-down on veterans and jettison another wave of youth. 

As for Donaldson, along with a batting average near Lady Gaga's weight, he will forever be tied to last summer's dust-up with Tim Anderson, an incident that - at best - showed him to be racially tone deaf. Some teams would have ditched him, right then. The Yankees were paying him too much money. 

Now, at 37, the trouble with Donaldson is the trouble with the Yankees... as it was with Joey Gallo, as it was with Jay Bruce, as it was with Edwin Encarnacion, as it was with Kendrys Morales, as it was with Troy Tulowitski, as it was with Chris Carter, as it was with Chase Headley, at it was with Matt Holliday, as it was with Stephen Drew, as it was with Ichiro Suzuki, as it was with Vernon Wells, as it was with Kevin Youkilis - and that's just the last 10 years. It is the trouble with a franchise that cannot distinguish hope from hubris, and which believes the "NY" logo somehow transforms a retirement home into an MLB clubhouse. 

So, a home run! Expect Donaldson to get another month to save his career. And I suppose we - as Yank fans - will root for him, right? Maybe this is his last, final, closing, climactic, concluding, fat-lady-singing-finale chance. But lemme tell you: When other fans suggest it must be easy, rooting for the mighty Yankees, they just don't know...