It would make the playoffs.
Not by much. In fact, we would quietly sneak into place - like a silent fart - capturing the final wild card berth. Most importantly, everybody at the top would keep their jobs.
Of course, the Official Yankee Goal is always to win every world series, every game, every year, until the end of time, or Hal Steinbrenner wills the franchise to charity. Every year, that's the given: We strive to win it all!
That said, to boost revenues and maintain the brand, the franchise must reach the post-season. And right now, despite all our moaning and carping, the brain trust can eyeball the standings and smile.
Thus far, mission accomplished. They are achieving the Prime Directive.
So, some hopeful observations as the team prepares to honor its eternal, de facto father figure, old George...
1. The Yankees are surviving in MLB's toughest division. Not only that, but everybody in the AL East loathes us with the searing heat of a billion suns. When not glaring daggers at us from opposing dugouts, they're proclaiming that they shall never - ever, under no circumstances, absolutely no way - wear the foul pinstripes, a symbol of all that is wrong with humanity. Yeesh, they're like 6th-graders denying a crush on the red-haired girl. But truly, they do despise us.
2. We have been decimated by injuries, and - frankly - some has been bad luck. That great catch by Aaron Judge, when he crashed the fence in LA? Shit. A million variants of movement converged (or conspired) to strain his big toe and cost him six weeks. I don't think it means Judge is a china doll - certainly not when compared to, say, Giancarlo, who is a soap bubble. If the Yankees can just get lucky - that is, deal with the regular elbows and hamstrings - but avoid fences and head butts - they can win that final wild card.
3. If they reach the post-season, and Aaron Judge hits two HRs per game, they can win it all.
4. We must be nearing a decision on Jackie Donaldson and/or Gleyber Torres. Neither is terrible, in the Zolio Almonte sense, but either - or both - could be traded for scrap copper tubing and replaced by Oswald Peraza, and the team would probably improve. Also, DJ LeMahieu - though a respected veteran - is hitting just .236. None of these guys are cutting it. Something must give. Oswald needs a shot. And soon.
5. Estevan Florial homered again last night for Scranton. His 18th on the season. He's tied for the International League lead. Of course, it doesn't matter. Currently having big years at Triple A are Jake Cave (.374 with 10 HRs), Miguel Andujar (.358 with 8) and our own Franchy Cordero (.343 with 5.) Florial is just another name we'll hear now and then, until he's traded. I should stop doing this to myself...
6. In Baltimore, Aaron Hicks is hitting .304 with 2 HRs. But but BUT... he's only played 15 games, (and lately, he's in a 1-for-9 mini-slump.) He's lifted his seasonal average to .235. (His two main Yankee replacements, Willie Calhoun and Jake Bauers, are hitting .238 and .221, respectively.) You wonder: Have the Yankees somehow become a toxic clubhouse, where players cannot perform to their best capabilities?
We're the one team in all of professional sports that should never, ever care how much it pays its players, and yet the Gotham media and - yes, us - the fan base - could never stop counting dimes when Hicks' name came up. It's happening with Severino, too. Nobody ever asks how much the Steinbrenners bank, and we scream at the players for wasting money. I dunno. But maybe that's why we haven't won a championship since 2009.
7. Okay, in San Diego, Gary Sanchez has hit 6 HRs in 17 games. Is he another Snake Plisken? Another case of Escape from New York? I dunno. But but but... the Kraken's batting average is .207. What happens when the homers cool off?
8. Okay, parlor game: Ten years ago, the Yankees failed to make the playoffs for the first time under Mister Hal. Here was the lineup on June 19, 2013, in the second game of a double-header against the Dodgers.
So... essay question: Was that better that what we'll put forth tonight in Boston?
My essay - 10-100 words, single spaced with extra credit poetry:
ReplyDeleteI choose today
not yesterday
or tomorrow
Pining for the past
might make you feel regret
and fill you full of sorrow
Uh
Happy Father’s Day
I never much liked Charo
Cuchi, Cuchi, Cuchi
In truth that might have been the worst lineup of the 21st century. But that was then, this is now. I don’t think the clubhouse is actually toxic, especially with the ultimate player’s manager here. I believe there’s some truth in the trope that NY is just too much pressure for some, especially media-wise. Players like Hicks & Sanchez will surely regress to the means, don’t sweat the SSS.
ReplyDeleteSteinbummer slipped the other day when he let fly his “NY fans want stars” blast. Actually, NY fans want WINNERS. Just making the (very)watered down playoffs is a very low bar to clear. With its almost limitless resources this team should be a serious contender every year, not a bunch of overpaid, underwhelming thirty-somethings. This is why players like Florial are left in the purgatory of SWB. It has nothing to do with racism, everything to do with the team’s twisted embrace of the pursuit of profit.
Enough of all that, may I wish a very Happy Father’s Day to all, with thanks for all your entertaining and informative posts! Enjoy the Day, and hopefully the games. (We’ll see about the latter) Maybe every Father’s Day should be a DH Day?
Yes - terrific idea!
ReplyDeleteEvery Father’s Day should have a double header.
@AA...was Charo a bit too old for arousement purposes?
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how much that 2013 lineup and our current version are so much alike. Scary, even.
Yes, Happy Father's Day to one and all! I was disappointed that neither of my yellow Labs fetched my slippers for me until I realized that I don't have any slippers.
@Carl - she just was never really my type.
ReplyDelete@ Carl … at least you have the yellow labs
@ Carl -> aol
AA & Carl,
ReplyDeleteI saw Charo in 1990 (My mother-in-law wanted to go). She already looked old and used at the time (googling to see if she's still alive - yes, she is!), with plenty of makeup spackled on. She actually played spanish guitar very well, but the cuchi-cuchi got old before my first drink was finished.
As for the line-ups, it's a trick question. They both stink. Soul-crushingly mediocre, which should never be associated with the Yankees.
Happy fathers day to all that qualify.
Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there! All you mothers, too!
ReplyDeleteSaw some piece in the Times or somewhere a couple years ago, insisting that we take Charo seriously for the aforementioned guitar playing. Her guitar playing seems fine. And hey, everyone has to make a living. But I refuse to take Charo seriously. Or Chachi, or Tarot.
ReplyDeleteJust want to say, in regard to the late unpleasantness, can we leave Dooley Womack out of this? Is nothing sacred?
ReplyDeleteAs for the media pressure in NYC...
ReplyDeleteI dunno. Hard to believe it is worse than it was when the city had 8 or 10 or 13 dailies. The Times doesn't even cover baseball anymore (we are supposed to subscribe to The Athletic), so there are now 2 city papers covering the games—and the beat writers and columnists at the Post and Daily News seem generally pretty mellow to me. No one who even comes close to, say, Dick Young in terms of scathing, irrational criticism.
Ditto for the TV commentators, many of whom are homers for the Yanks themselves. I don't listen to the talk radio, so maybe that's bad, and of course there's (un)social media.
But really, pro athletes today have more ability than ever to drop out, turn off, and tune in to whatever they want, no need to hear from the public at all.
Certainly, there is nothing close to what used to go on in the days of "the Bronx Zoo,' etc. Again, I don't think these guys are succumbing to some special, NYC pressure. I think they are poorly trained and poorly coached—and poorly selected in the first place.
Roofs’
ReplyDeleteI read that Charo was trained by famed virtuoso guitarist Andrés Segovia.
She was and likely still is a fine guitarist.
But a girl sgottsu eat.
By the way, how’s Gummo doing?
Hoss, I agree with you. What media pressure? It's become like Cleveland or K.C. here. No reporter pisses on anyone anymore, no matter how bad the player is doing. Cashman lives a charmed existence. And he lived happily ever after? That's Cashman.
ReplyDeleteAnd absolutely yes, they are poorly selected, poorly trained, poorly coached.
I watched the last half of the Friars and the Rays on FOX yesterday. Gary Sanchez took an O for. He has changed his stance a little bit. He now does the Gleyber Torres thing with the front foot in the air, standing on one leg. No one else on either team was doing that. Maybe Sanchez and Torres are Jethro Tull fans and Ian Anderson gives them hitting advice? Anyway, behind the plate, Sanchez looked good. I didn't see any passed balls. He was framing pitches well. Seemed to have good rapport with the pitchers. Friars won 2-0, and Blake Snell got revenge on his old team. Love it when Tampa loses! And the ASS-stros also lost! It was a good day!
Hoss, I’m thinking more in terms of the netiverse, of which this blog is just a tiny (but no less worthy) component. It’s a 24 hr drum pounding unfounded opinions, some outright lies mixed with readily available facts and some very funny bits. I doubt any of the current roster of Yankee players has even glanced at a paper in years., but I’m sure they all have Twitter and I/G accounts. My Newsday is now delivered to my devices every day. But I couldn’t agree more with your last sentence . Watching this team is like being trapped in some “Twilight Zone”-like loop of endless repetition. Submitted for your approval…an 85 win team makes the playoffs and calls the season another segment in their line of unqualified successes.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to duckduckgo Charo. There was an Elvis movie called Charro, but I've never heard of a guitar player named Charo.
ReplyDeleteHammer, you're not missing much where Charo is concerned. And you can thank Xavier Cugat for plucking her from obscurity and foisting her on an unsuspecting public.
ReplyDeleteAA,
ReplyDeleteGummo is stable as they used to say in the ICU. But Harpo doesn't talk to any of the brothers anymore. He must be racist.
I don't think Harpo was a racist, but he was definitely bald.
ReplyDeleteApparently so is Charo
ReplyDeleteMaybe Sanchez and Torres are Jethro Tull fans and Ian Anderson gives them hitting advice? Hammer, solid gold image.
ReplyDeleteI THINK I remember when Charo was Juicy. Was this just a hormonal thing? I went to a Catholic all lad high school. EVERYTHING seemed juicy!
Happy Father's Day to all you Fathers of Invention!
I was about to say that 2013lineup was worse but than I realized we’ll have no one in today’s line up that is as good as 2013 Cano.
ReplyDeleteWell said and written, Duque.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely apologize to anyone who may have been amused, er offended, by my taking Dooley Womack and injecting venom into his legacy.
ReplyDeleteKevin, I wnet to an all boys Jesuit school as well and boy did those all girl's Catholic girls in their knee socks gettin my coo cooing.
ReplyDeleteI meant Catholic Girl's School.
ReplyDeleteSee, I'm even too old to be thinking of knee socks.
Although, one of those girls that I am still friends with agrees that Hal, Cashman, and Boone suck.
ReplyDeleteHappy Father's Day Boys!!!
Happy Father's Day Gentlemen! Annnnd here's hoping for the best today, yikes!
ReplyDelete@Ken… on the blog or with the game(s)?
ReplyDeleteCONEY!
ReplyDeleteWhat’s the point of sleeping until 1:30 if the game is delayed?
ReplyDeleteAny word on what time I should have slept until?
Oh that’d be now.
ReplyDeleteGleyber!!!
ReplyDeleteFYI:
ReplyDelete06/18/23 New York Yankees recalled RHP Greg Weissert from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders.
Who is a worse LF? Calhoun or Bauers?
ReplyDeleteIt’s beyond ridiculous that Florial can even get a look-see. The press should be screaming this at Cashman/Boone every chance they get.
The Sox have no problem peppering the green monster; we can’t reach it
BREAKING NEWS: STANTON SUCKS
ReplyDeleteok, it’s not breaking news…
John is beside himself that the runner on 2nd with no outs wasn't even moved to third.
ReplyDeleteBauers leads off with a double, goes nowhere, 3 unacceptable AB’s by Stanton Torres Rizzo…especially Stanton who failed to put the ball in play and advance the runner
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ReplyDeleteThey’re playing “wall ball”
ReplyDeleteTwo out hits. Putting the ball in play. What crazy approach is that?
ReplyDeleteIt was a nice game for awhile, anyway.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, no one is warming up in the bullpen.
ReplyDeleteCan Gummo pitch? King not looking very kingly today.
ReplyDeleteUgly yellow
ReplyDeleteUgly blue
Ugly baseball
Yankee Poo
Those uniforms are really bad, even for stupid novelty uniforms.
ReplyDeleteGummo's retired.
ReplyDeleteFrom life.
ReplyDeleteSorry I'm late. Not making excuses but we had to take the delicate genius to a wind ensemble institute.
What'd I miss? Nothing? So, the usual.
Happy Father's Day to all fellow fathers. My Mother always said, "I hope yours are just like you." Took me a while to realize it wasn't a compliment.
Finally getting the rest he needs.
ReplyDeleteThey're soccer uniforms.
ReplyDeleteAnd everyone from boooone to HAL should be retired, permanently.
Gummo, that is.
ReplyDeleteOh, and happy father's day to those who chose that route. Good day to grill.
ReplyDeleteIf George was still alive…the firings would commence between games of the doubleheader…
ReplyDeleteIf Mad George was still alive, the first person fired would be HAL.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteJust decided to tune in. I shouldn't have bothered.
But I did spend some time comparing this alleged team to the 2013 collection, and some things never change with The Intern making all the wrong choices.
This team has a slight edge in era and ops, but the difference is very very small. They are essentially the same team. What they share is a collection of guys whose better years were far behind them, filled in with guys who never were and never will be. That is a classic roster construction by the Intern, a man who seems to be reading the back of baseball cards from when he was in college.
We can only hope this team emulates those bygone heroes by finishing out of it.
Cause I know I'll be looking forward to many more years of mediocrity if this team manages to sneak into the playoffs.
George George
ReplyDeleteGeorge the dead father
Would sack Boone and Cash
George George
George the dead father
Would then kick Hal in the ass
(thanks to Sheldon Allman & Stan Worth)
ReplyDeleteQuite frequently, I go to the Moon of Alabama website to check in on an "alternate" explanation of what's going on between the Russkies and Ukraine.
I don't grant it credibility. Just as I don't grant the US govt's explanations (of anything) credibility.
However, there is one thing worth taking from MoA. It's "The Daily Clobber report."
It's a recitation of how many tanks, armored vehicles, troops (and etc.) have been destroyed by the Russians in the previous day (or days).
I don't grant it credibility, either. You can't tell what is truth and what is folly these days.
HOWEVER: Coming here every day, too, I am seeing a major resemblance to the Daily Clobber Report.
I'm not suggesting the blog's name change. However...
@ DickAllen, I don't think we have to worry. This team ain't making the wild card.
ReplyDeleteYou know, some dude on nypost.com wrote an article that this team still has a chance of catching Tampa. Unintentionally hilarious. Sort of like one of them cult classic B movies that are "so bad, it's good".
Another desultory disappointment. When you look forward to seeing Bauers and McK.hit, you know the team’s in trouble.
ReplyDeleteI’ll just drop this nugget from boone’s postgame presser…he said the problem with DJLM is his “preload”. Translation, he’s selling out bc he’s having trouble catching up with pitches, especially the FB.
After the game Stanton said he “doesn’t have the time to be taking reps” ….just imagine what this lazy asshole will be like in 2 years.
Ahem. From the Marx Brothers, a little ditty for today:
ReplyDelete"Today is Father's Day
And we're giving you this tie.
Today is Father's Day
And here's the reason why:
Cause according to our mother you're our father
And that's good enough for us.
Yes, that's good enough for us."
Or something like that.
Thanks Hoss!
ReplyDeleteI hear that Gummo laughed so hard after hearing that the first time that he had a heart attack and was taken to the ICU
Hammer… I have a title for that movie. Attack of the killer tomato cans.
ReplyDeleteForget about the BOSS firing people, if any self respecting human being owned this team, he/she/?/! would be firing people
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAs HC66 documented in one of his posts. Steinbrenner was a deranged asshole. His firing rampages wrecked the team and came perilously close to making a permanent laughing stock of a once-exalted brand. We have Howie Spira and Fay Vincent to thank for averting permanent catastrophe by temporarily caging this foaming pit bull long enough to allow Buck and Stick to rebuild the team.
ReplyDeleteYet countless idiot fans still long for Steinbrenner's wrecking-ball approach to management as though it was some sort of paradise lost. I attribute this warped nostaligia to any of the following: (a) the sort of mangled masculinity that revels in boxing matches, pro wrestling, NFL brutality, and Kung Fu movies; (b) diminished memory capacity; or (c) cognitive deficit. Yes, incompetents should be dismissed, but as a judicious tool of organizational building, not as a blitzkrieg of annihilation, as it was in the bleakest periods of George's Reign of Terror. Hal has the opposite problem: he never fires anybody--in fact, he rewards long-term mediocrity and ineptitude. There is a happy medium, and George's insanity wasn't happy or medium: it was depressing extremism--megalomaniacal incompetence, the mirror image of his son's passive incompetence.
If the Yankees drop the second game of today’s Father’s Day Boston grapple, does anyone here believe that any changes will occur?
ReplyDeleteA simple show of hands will do but please, please feel free to drive those fingers across the keys as far as you’re inspired to do so to explain, express and explore.
Time to DCU with the family.
Back in a Flash.
Team is 🗑️ Cashman should be ashamed of this roster construct
ReplyDeleteVolpe must be sent down. They’re not helping him, they’re hurting him.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLook at the lineup for Game 2: not one batter with a significant sample size of PAs has an OPS of .800 or better; three are below .700, and one (Cabrera) is below .600. Only one batter with significant PAs has a BA above .250 (Rizzo, rapidly nosediving at .265); three are below the Mendoza Line, and Stanton is flirting with it at .211. This is a disgrace
ReplyDelete@ Joe of AZ...Cashman and the rest of the Bloated Front Office ™ have no shame at all. The ones that actually even bother to make it appear as if they're doing their job, just go through the motions yet don't give a crap if the team is capable of winning a WS.
ReplyDeleteI wish we could move Stanton, but nobody wants him and we still owe him him too much money to release him.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI would rather have Arch Stanton up to hit than the overpaid permantly buttock/chest/eyebrow/hircut injured bum we have in Giancarlo
@ AA...Sure, the batboy will get the axe.
ReplyDeleteArch Stanton! Hilarious choice!
ReplyDeleteTo be done with Cash
ReplyDeleteWould cure this rash
Of doom and gloom
Please no more Boone
And dumping Hal
Would also be a great thing I can tell you
Yeah