Across the Yankiverse, there are whispers of a unicorn - a lefty hitter with a rifle arm, who grinds out walks, and roams left field like Brad Pitt at a DAR convention. This mythical cryptid - if he exists - would instantly transform the mildewed, meager Yankee lineup, bringing light to places of darkness and hope to places of, well, Willie Calhoun.
We cannot assign a name to this player. He visits us in dreams, lurking overhead, just out of reach. He wants to help us. He wants to save the Yankees, the most prestigious franchise in American sports, before they sink into middling mediocrity.
Is he real? Is he Memorex? Is there a way? And if so, what personal treasures would Hal Steinbrenner surrender to acquire such a champion? Or could the Yankees end up overpaying, selling their future for one fantastical, all-or-nothing shot at glory?
I cannot remember a sharper crossroads than what the Yankees face over the next three weeks, as they head to the Aug. 1 trade deadline.
Whatever they do, every move will come with enormous potential consequences, as the front office weighs a wild card chase against missing the postseason and losing New York City to the Mets - a cultural change that is already underway, and which might last for a decade.
Comrades, this is big. What happens in the next three weeks will define your chances of living long enough to witness another Yankee world championship.
Some things to remember.
1. In trades, nobody ever helps the Yankees. If anything, when the Death Barge calls, rival GMs drive up their demands. Their fan bases despise New York - Gomorrah - and the notion of losing a trade to the Yankees will kill any front office career. Thus, the Yankees have a tendency to trade with a small handful of franchises - Pittsburgh, Texas, the Cubs. This year, each is still a contender. So... a relevant question: Will anybody deal with us?
2. The whole Yankiverse hinges on a big toe. Aaron Judge's big toe. Is it blistered? Is it swollen? Can we see a picture? Would we want to see a picture? Does it have a cute little cast, maybe a smiley face painted on it? Could he do a Senor Wences bit, "S-all right? S-ALL RIGHT!"
Will it heal in time for Judge to regain his swing? Will it allow him to hit, even if he can't run? Will it compromise his swing, rendering him to flail at pitches? If he can hit but not run, would they DH him, putting Stanton into RF, where he looks like Mr. Magoo searching for his car keys.
3. Will Luis Severino continue to be capital A Awful? I mean, we've seen bad pitchers - Colter Bean, Edwardo Ramirez, Scott Proctor at the end - but Sevy's epic portrayal of Mr. Hyde is ridiculous. By the 3rd inning, Isiah Kiner-Falefa is warming in the pen. Either Sevy self-corrects and becomes a serviceable No. 3, or the Yankees are screwed. We spent five years waiting on a ghost.
4. Could they spin the wheel back to 2016 and go with youth? It's not as if they have a Gary Sanchez or Aaron Judge to unveil, but there are options.
Oswald Peraza, Estevan Florial, Ben Rortvedt - maybe Austin Wells - deserve a chance. (And Oswaldo Cabrera needs to return to Scranton and figure things out, because he's had more than enough chances.)
In his second year at Scranton, Pereza is now officially wasting his time. Dude can play 2B or 3B. Let's see what he's got.
Same with Florial in LF. Give him three weeks - 50 plate appearances. Even if he fails, he'll still be a defensive improvement.
And the offense needs a lefty platoon catcher. If that means trading Higgy or Trevino, both popular Yankees, so be it. Right now, we're going nowhere.
If we just wait for the unicorn, it might be years.
It will be business as usual. The Idiot will trade a half dozen prospects for this year's Rizzo/Lynn and they will make the playoffs because everyone else sucks. In the off season he will spend stupid $$$ on this years Ellsbury, AJ Burnett fill in the blanks. Then It will be Deja Vu all over again.
ReplyDeleteHiggy or Trevino for a LH LF who can bat .250 with some speed and the ability to use the field would be nice. Benny could platoon with the other.
ReplyDeleteCatchers are a premium and even if fan bases hate the Yanks, a good defense catcher with the ability to bat .215 and call a good game is worth it to many teams.
This could be a trade with a contender as well.
But, it's the Yankee management, so we merely stare into the abyss and wait for Godot.
"It's not what you want..."
ReplyDeleteOne thing we can do is reverse the karma/direction of the franchise changing failure to acquire Yoan Moncada because according to the New York Post...
ReplyDelete"Sources did not say talented youngsters Yoan Moncada and Michael Kopech are in that same close-to-untouchable category, which is interesting."
He plays third and even if he kinda sucks the "Moncada Failure" was in fact, a turning point for us. Getting him on the Yankees would be a return to the correct path.
The Yankees will not win another championship in my lifetime if HAL still owns the team when I die.
ReplyDeleteWe're all just venting on this reality here.
Rufus, what if Halitosis Hal sells the team whilst you are still kicking (and not from any seizures) after the 2024 season and the Yankees still don’t win it all prior to your passing in April of 2046?
ReplyDeleteWith luck perhaps some billionaire Yankee fan will buy the "controlling interest" in the Yanks, thereby taking the day-to-day drudgery out of Hal's existence, allowing him to follow his true passions of European soccer, sailing, polo and being an asshole, yet still rake in enough moola to keep him and his next generations until the end of time in their millionaire lifestyles.
ReplyDeleteTo dream the impossible dream.
This is my quest.
To follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far.
[My Mom loved show tunes and some of them still reside better in my mind that yesterday's post-nap activities. It is Tuesday, correct?]
And in today's "Laughter is the Best Medicine" podcast, courtesy of the latest edition of the Daily Murdoch:
ReplyDeleteJoey Gallo still devastated over being guy who ‘sucked for the Yankees’
He went on to say:
“I’ll probably never have a chance to play for the Yankees again..."
Thanks, Joey. We are all relieved to hear this.
Door #4, Monty. I'd rather deal in that kind of uncertainty than in all of its other varieties.
ReplyDeleteHey Joey, you suck for the Twins, too!
ReplyDeleteBe careful what you wish for. The last time a Steinbrenner—George—almost sold the Yankees, it was going to be to the Dolans. Things can always be worse!
ReplyDeleteDuque, that mythical creature you mention is named Masataka Yoshida, and he patrols left field in Boston, where he is hitting .316 with 31 extra-base hits.
ReplyDeleteLoved the post, though!
Oh, and Comrade Duque?
ReplyDeleteCondition of Judge toe is official state secret. Any further speculation will bring visit from security forces. You understand?
Also, repeated questioning of Comrade Cashman is not appreciated. He is doing all he can for the triumph of world socialism, letting teams from small, impoverished cities win many championships!
This is your only warning!
The Yankees need a whole lot and a change of direction.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteThe 2013 edition of your New Your Yankees is one of the worst Yankees teams of my lifetime but if you look back the team made no progress at all between 2013 and 2017, and they only called up Judge, Sanchez, and Austin out of desperation. This is looking a lot like 2013.
"Boone was always the wrong guy for the job."
ReplyDelete--Deborah B.
"I'm not a Boone fan, but it doesn't really matter if he is fired or not, as long as Cashman is in charge the Yankees will continue to stink."
--Hank G.
"When a fish stinks it stinks from the head. Expecting a coach to make chicken salad out of chicken s--t is not realistic. Horrible Hal and the Trashman are delusional."
--John T.
Just regular folks responding to regular reporting on the Athletic about the regular crap of Yankees' management. We are not alone.
I was hoping that my mom would see one more Yankees World Series win, but she died in late 2020 at 96. Now I'm hoping I'll see one more before I die, but the front office has proven time and again that it is incapable of assembling a team and coaching staff that could make that happen.
Cashman and Hal are younger than me and a lot of you. They're going to simply outlast us and send us to the Great Beyond as embittered, disappointed, disgusted Yankees fans.
We are doomed and there's no way out.
JM:
ReplyDeleteMaybe the time is NOW for you to draft an open letter to Junior Steinbrenner.
One that pulls at the heart strings, quivers the jaw and is written in such a way that even a ten year old American child could comprehend it
(after all a copy could get into Cashman's hands)
Hoping, begging, pleading, for one more World Series Victory during our lifetimes.
This is your kernel, your core, the heart of your missive:
"I was hoping that my mom would see one more Yankees World Series win, but she died in late 2020 at 96. Now I'm hoping I'll see one more before I die, but the front office has proven time and again that it is incapable of assembling a team and coaching staff that could make that happen."
"Cashman and Hal are younger than me and a lot of you. They're going to simply outlast us and send us to the Great Beyond as embittered, disappointed, disgusted Yankees fans."
"We are doomed and there's no way out."
We could all sign it, in ink on the 24th of August.
And, instead of posting it we could drop it off right there at the stadium's executive offices.
The time is NOW for there may not be a TOMORROW.
We all feel the sickly undertow of this, this Year of the Toe and we may in fact be at the end of this journey, this chapter, this never-ending oozing fissure of ineptitude and mediocrity.
I say DO IT!
I'LL SIGN IT!
MAKE IT SO!
(time for another coffee)
😢
ReplyDeleteJust three weeks and 50 PAs for Florial, while the Great White Hope Volpe has gotten more than half a season to prove that he can't hit MLB pitching? Anyone else smell a double standard here?
ReplyDeleteAA,
ReplyDeleteAnswering your question @10:04,
If A then B, does not mean if B then A.
Also, I wouldn't expect the Wilpons to buy the Yankees.
AA,
ReplyDeleteOne correction/clarification of your 1:59 post.
"oozing fissure" should read: "oozing necrotic pustule"
And as President for life of Freedonia, I will certainly sign your petition, even if it means war.
Roof-us - ack ack acknowledged and forever recorded in perpetuity throughout all known, unknown and yet to be discovered universes . . .(although fissures can and do ooze, so do be careful when skulking around any)
ReplyDelete