The Yankees, however, are the team of Starr Insurance, which advertises via a patch on their jerseys in the place where armbands once remembered Yogi Berra, Billy Martin and Thurman Munson. Our Mayhem is Brian Cashman, the GM who since 2009 has somehow managed to destroy every Yankee team, always while seeking to land an ace starter. It's a great ongoing bit. He constantly chases his own, self-described "white whale," and everything falls through.
The list of Cashman's Calamities is striking, not only for its length and breath, but for the names that appear. In many ways, it's a Who's Who of successful pitchers, all with one thing in common:
Once they donned Yankee Pinstripes, they basically sucked.
The List belongs in Cashman's personal Monument Park.
Carlos Rodon.
His ERA is 5.70, and - get this - we have Rodon for five more years, at a Hal-busting $27 million per season. Let's hope that contract is covered by Starr. The Yankees sure picked the right product to sew into their sacred sleeves, which once held the memorial bands for Phil and Mickey.
If Rodon is ready to join the list, I think it's time to wonder WTF is going on? If Cashman were merely rolling dice, a few acquisitions - via random happenstance - would succeed. (Okay, he did sign Gerrit Cole, so there's that. Name another success...) But year after year, Cashman brings in Starr pitchers, who quickly burn up in the atmosphere of NY. Is it the Yankees? Is it Gotham? (This year, Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander launched a Mets list.) Is it juju?
Dunno. The Yankees love to tout their 27 world championships, but most of them happened long long ago in a Yankiverse far, far away. Maybe they should rethink the idea of paying pitchers for the innings they threw in other cities? Ah, but what do I know? In the meantime, they always welcome Mayhem... like themselves.
Willard and Ben
ReplyDeleteTo the Pen
Until
They scamper
Out to to
The Mound
As the BOOOOOs
Grow Louder
I say
Let’s Poison
The Chowder
And bury ‘em
In the
Ground
That's an impressive list. However, I'm tired of watching the Yankees sign or trade for over payed players that don't provide a return on investment. Of course, it's not only in baseball. The salaries of some of these athletes is unbelievable. And if they do have a guaranteed contract, then you have to live with their attitude, lack of hustle, lack of care and their lifestyle, which may affect the team. Then you attend a game and they want $14 for french fries. How about bending the "cost curve" or having contracts based on incentive clauses. Oh that's right, the players' union probably won't go for that. He gets $27 million dollars for five years and even has a union.
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing is at least half of those guys had a history of arm injuries and he still signed/traded for them.
ReplyDeleteIf I may, Rodon’s ERA now an eye-popping 6.60, not 5.70. Further, there is nothing in his career to justify the contract we gave him. I shudder to think what horrors Cashman will visit upon us in the coming months..
ReplyDelete@Celerino...all that matters is that the WAR is high enough to trade for them. Analytics don't take injuries into effect from what I see...
ReplyDeleteWas just about to point that out, BTR.
ReplyDeleteCashman has to be the worst GM in MLB. Nobody else is close.
Rodon is like the lefty equivalent of Severino. These two guys, lefty and righty, have killed the Yankees this year.
ReplyDeleteI don't lay all of the blame at Matt Blake's feet, but they need a new pitching coach next year. Who the hell knows why, but Blake is unable to get struggling pitchers back on track. They go into a downward spiral until they crash.
Rodon shouldn't be getting belted and bombed like this. That's the truly unbelievable part about all this. Severino shouldn't be getting belted and bombed like this. You throw mid to upper nineties with the fastball and have a nasty breaking ball, you should be able to get through an inning or two just throwing the heater and moving it around the zone. But with these guys, you look up after two innings, and you're down 5 or 6 runs.
I say these struggling guys have to go into the bullpen to try to work out their troubles and get their confidence back. You have to hope that Rodon gets it back next year. And you have to hope that Matt Blake is gone as soon as this season is over.
If the Yankees manage to get another win streak going, they should skip Rodon in the rotation from now on. Put him on the 60 day. Either something is wrong with him or he just can't pitch for shit.
ReplyDeleteHammer, Blake is making Rothschild look like a genius.
ReplyDeleteThat is a long list, Duque. But I would say that I was not shocked that the vast majority of the names on that list were total wipeouts when they came here.
ReplyDeleteSome of the guys on the list were too old when they were brought in, like Randy Johnson, Kevin Brown, Bartolo Colon.
A few were untested newbies who never panned out, like Hidecki Irabu, Kei Igawa, Jose Contreras. A few were young pitchers who their old teams were smart to get rid of, like Michael Pineda, that Cashman was dumb enough to trade for.
And Frankie Montas was a physical wreck before he was brought in.
Nathan Eovaldi was a hit machine when we acquired him (he was the N.L. leader in hits allowed). Then, when he finally started to figure it out, he got hurt. Then he left as a free agent and became a very good pitcher with other teams. It doesn't speak well of our coaching that he got so much better after he left.
There are only a few guys on that list who surprised me with their epic futility, like Sonny Gray. And we can now add Rodon to that list. I thought Rodon would pitch well here. The guy needs to work off that beer belly. Call Roger Clemens and put this guy through Navy SEAL training camp.
It certainly looks that way. This is why I call him Genius Cashman. He is anything but.
ReplyDeleteDidn't we hear that the pitching staff doesn't do any running? That ain't good.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what their pitcher's program looks like, but top physical condition doesn't seem to be one of the goals. Judge for yourself, look at Rodon's belly. Look at Cole's belly. I think the Yankee tailors are working overtime, taking out their pants.
Their idea of stamina seems to be downing a few beers after every game. Extra large second and third helpings at the dinner table.
They should sell the other shoulder patch to Pillsbury Doughboy.
Great points, guys—which is all the more reason why, in today's game, any smart GM is checking over the durability and ATTITUDE of long-term free-agent signees.
ReplyDelete"Is this guy a gamer? Would he throw at his own mother to win a game? Does he just HAVE to be out there?"
We used to have guys like that on this team. We don't seem to, anymore.
By the way, Duque's mayhem analogy is brilliant.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I'm afraid we can't blame Kenny Rogers (1996) or Irabu (1997) on Cashie. They came in just before his time...
ReplyDeleteAlso, we ended up getting Scott Brosius for Rogers, and Ted Lilly for Irabu, so not all bad.
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ReplyDeleteBlake is making Rothschild look like a genius.
OUCH, does that ever drive the point home...
And, while I don't know why I should do this, just to play devil's advocate for The Brain, here are the successful (or relatively successful) starters brought in under his (seemingly endless) regime, whether he was responsible for them or not:
ReplyDeleteO.G. El Duque
Mike Mussina
Ted Lilly
Jon Lieber
Aaron Small
C.C. Sabathia
A.J. Burnett
Freddy Garcia
Hiroki Kuroda
Brandon McCarthy
Masahiro Tanaka
J.A. Happ
James Paxton
Jameson Taillon
Nestor Cortes
Not really world-beaters, I'll grant you. Most of them not even good over any extended period of time. More like "one[s] that will do/ To swell a progress, start a scene or two." Or even win a division championship. But...
Far outweighed by all the unmitigated, overpaid flops.
Hoss: El Duque was terrific. Lilly was quickly over used, then traded. After the trade, he became a quality pitcher. CC was hall of fame level. Most of the others don't draw a breath of memory ( McCarthy?), except for Nasty Nestor, who now awaits surgery which will end his 2024 season. The vast majority gave us a fw good games in one season.
ReplyDeleteAll too true, Alphonso!
ReplyDeleteAnd I could never stand Mussina, who I felt was a big choke artist. But...these were guys who were at least fairly effective for a year or more. Kuroda, who I barely remember, led the team in wins something like 3-4 years in a row.
But yeah, I don' t think Cashman wins his case. Overall, it's a record of shabby failure, that never seems to end.
ReplyDeleteTanaka was good. Let him walk for nothing and the Brain replaced him with, Googling because I have no memory, Jameson Taillon.
One can only hope that Severino’s season is over…
ReplyDeleteTank is back on…
ReplyDeleteBullpen shitshow and no offense. Great recipe.
ReplyDeleteRick, we'll always have the tank.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the last of Severino in a Yankee uni?
ReplyDeleteWe'll see him again - Its the Cashman way, hay hay - hay hay!
ReplyDeleteNo doubt, a muscle pull—which will be called "a core injury"—for another Yankees pitcher who is not in shape. And it came just as Paul O'Neill and Kay were trying to make out that his last 4 starts had been very encouraging.
ReplyDeleteWell, ain't it awful when bad spins happen to washed-up players.
Hey, Sevvy, ya coulda been great. But that coulda expired 5 years ago.
So Cashie got ALMOST to 9/9 without this team showing what it really is. Again. Oh, well. We can only hope everyone will see through the charade, and the "Fi-re Cash-mans" will cascade down like water.
ReplyDeleteDuque's list included a LOT of pitchers who were brought in as emergency guys to fill hole which had opened up because of injury or horrible performance. Amazingly, there was NOT EVEN ONE name who was qualified to to be in a rotation, in any spot 1-5!!!
ReplyDeleteHorace had six, maybe seven pitchers who I'd call true starters: CC, Tanaka, Mussina, Duque, Kuroda, A.J., Cortes/Paxton. I'm only counting what they with while Yankees. A front seven like that would in most years win the WS. Wong gave us two terrific years, honorable mention. Amazingly only seven, eight legitimate starters in twenty-five years!!! Oops, almost forgot Wells and Clemens! Somehow the fucking Dodgers and Devil Rays would turn that list over every six or seven years. Dodgers are cusp of having to pay big money to re-build their rotation, and maybe the Devil Rays as well.
FYI, Gary Sanchez broke his right wrist and is out for the year.
*what they did while with the Yankees
ReplyDeleteDuque's list = Instant PTSD
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