But if it's two out of the three, they're more likely chasing the Wild Card.
One out of the three? Well, how do I put this... Why. Bother?
That's the Gordian noose facing Yank fans this week at MLB's annual Gathering of the Juggalos, aka the Winter Meetings. (Pictured above.) Right now, everything orbits the fates of four big name stars, who have generated an ongoing Cat 5 bullshit hurricane.
As best as I can discern - (fun fact: the so-called insiders have no better clues) - here's where things stand, according to all-knowing conjecture.
Shohei Ohtani. It's between the Dodgers, Blue Jays, Cubs, Giants and a "mystery team" (Detroit Pistons?) The Redsocks and Mets are said to be out. (Fun fact: I don't believe this.) The Yanks were never in it; I mean, he's only the fucking Japanese Babe Ruth. Why would the Yanks want him?
Yoshinobu Yamamoto. The Dodgers, Mets and Yankees are said to be all in. The Mets seem to be favorites. Weirder yet: If the Dodgers sign Ohtani, you'd think they would punt on Yamamoto, but - in fact - it could be the opposite: They might want the twosome to thrive off each other. Either way, the price tag will be staggering. Remember those astrophysical brainiacs who claimed to have captured sound fragments of the original Big Bang? I believe they found the echoes of Hal Steinbrenner's carping.
Cody Bellinger. If the Yanks fan on Yamamoto, that leaves the door prize. Doubling our stress, the last time we acquired a slugger after his big season, it was Giancarlo. I dunno about Bellinger. Something about those three clunker years, when he fell from Mr. MVP to Mr. .210 - it should frighten us. Something tells me, whoever signs this guy for five years is going to regret it after two.
Juan Soto. The Yank seem to be frontrunners here, but - again - the price tag continues to terrify. If we bundle some of our best prospects for a one-year rental of Soto, the gains could be illusionary. We can't keep doing this. Also, it's almost time for Cashman to do a new "worst trade ever." You thought it was Jordan Montgomery for Harrison Bader? Look at the rumors surrounding Soto. Cashman could do much worse.
So, here we go: Scariest week of the year? Depends on how you feel about clowns.
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ReplyDeleteThe upcoming 2024 season might be the right time to finally stop putting off getting all my teeth pulled and having them replaced with implants.
ReplyDeleteI said it before and I’ll say it again, if the Padres want a handful of Yankee minor league arms for Soto, just do it. We haven’t really developed a top two guy in years anyway. How many “prospects” did Cashgrab trade that really amounted to anything? Duran and maybe Mateo? They’re fools gold.
ReplyDeleteDon't do it, AA. A friend of mine had a lot of implants put in and it changed his face. He didn't look like his old self anymore.
ReplyDeleteOf course, that's a good thing if you're on the lam from the feds or even state police. But just saying.
Winter meetings? We'll do nothing, or something as good as nothing, like Oscar Gonzalez. If we do anything beyond that, it will be a disaster. Don't forget, the Brain is still in charge, still as arrogant as ever, still as stupid as they come when it comes to baseball.
Also remember that "Krampus" was a pretty good holiday horror movie, but "Rare Imports" is fucking fantastic. Give it a shot.
I read this in The Daily Murdoch this morning and nearly upchucked my breakfast:
ReplyDelete"The Yankees, who have excelled in recent years at maximizing the organization’s arms, do not want to give up the wrong ones."
How exactly have they excelled at maximizing organization arms? And they've not been giving up wrong ones in recent years - they've been giving up all of them!
No GM has made more of a mess of pitching development across the board than The Intern. I can only assume the writer, Mark Sanchez, has been eating too many free meals courtesy of the Steinbrenner Chuck Wagon.
Dick
ReplyDeleteCa$holes record number of pitchers needing TJ surgery is very impressive.
That and pitchers that he's discarded have outperformed any of his counterparts' contingents.
*That's* maximizing ineptitude.
Probably not what he was thinking of though.
Thanks guys - I was actually just looking for something more pleasant to do other than watch the Yankees in 2024.
ReplyDeleteMy teeth are fine.
AA,
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about Doris the Dominatrix's House of Pain? I believe it's located in your area.
I wonder if the other GMs look forward to seeing Cashman show up like the annual summer carnival company that stops in Mayberry and salivates over the rube who shows up every year and blows $ 1000.00 to try and win the large teddy bear by playing that game where you have to toss 3 round hoops over square figures.
ReplyDelete@ JM.... Changed your friend's face? I hope his dentist isn't Dr. Christian Szell.
Counterpoint: the future means nothing. Assemble the best and most expensive team you can now, before Cole and Judge age out.
ReplyDeleteSame shit, different day. Go not get em! Genius Cashman.
ReplyDelete@ Rudus, I'll have to try Doris sometime. Sounds good.
ReplyDelete@ AA, When you're in NYC, Viscount Victoria's will make you forget all about loose teeth.
@ Stang & AA, All in would be nice. But, and it's a pretty big BUT, there are simply too many morons in this organization that can't get out of their own way. Our manager ... not capable of winning a Little League Championship, let alone a MLB World Series. Our pitching coach ... where the hell did they find this guy? Our GM ... rapidly proving himself to be the dumbest, craziest, most hell-bent on mediocrity GM in the history of MLB, whilst spending the most money ... something that's not easy to do.
ReplyDeleteLots of good comments on the NY Post about getting Soto. I agree with most of the commenters therein: Soto is a one year rental. He previously turned down a $440 Million contract offer. He will absolutely walk after the year is up. Padres want pitching, lots of young pitching. So kick the tires but don't buy. Get him after 2024 when all it takes is money. The time to get him via trade was a few years ago.
ReplyDeleteOhtani: pass, because he's hurt. Period. Let others take the risk on him.
Yamamoto: SIGN THIS GUY, WHATEVER IT TAKES. Don't get outbid by the Mutts.
Bellinger: If we get Yamamoto, I can live with taking a chance on Bellinger. If we don't get Yamamoto, then why bother? But my gut feeling is that we should pass on Bellinger. Throw Florial in CF. Let him develop into a fourth outfielder. He's just holding a place until The Martian gets back. Sound like just hoping for the best in centerfield? Exactly, that's the spot that Dumbass Cashman has put us in.
All I want for Christmas is the Admiral
ReplyDeleteThe Admiral
See Yamamoto O
Gee, if I could only have the Admiral
Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"
I have to wonder about the strategy of buying the most expensive player, or two. The Angels have had the "TWO GREATEST PLAYERS OF THE PAST ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS" for I believe four years. How many tittles? Division that is... What about the Padres? The Mets? If a team can't/won't keep spending on a complete and deep team they go nowhere (the occasional fluke aside). And Texas doesn't count as they were able to complete their roster during the season. We definitely could use YY. With the money saved by prudent restraint a good GM should be able to piece together a solid team, then pick up the needed pieces during the season as Texas did. IMHO, putting picking up that pain in the ass Kiermaier to play center and a solid left-fielder acquired through trade (or FA) just might be enough. And maybe a good third baseman (until we find out which of our young lads can hold the position). Bellinger might turn out to be great, but a ten year contract considering everything makes me queasy.
ReplyDelete"The Greatest Player Ever", Ohtahni is a franchise killer I forgot to add. A team may, MAY win a ring with him. But he could also destroy a team for a decade or two, especially if his arm doesn't bounce back. I don't understand the hype, you'd think that it's a given that he bounces back from a second TJ. Besides the pitching, what happens if he can't play the field? There's a very real chance that he becomes a DH. And...
ReplyDeleteJM, you’re right - Rare Imports was awesome.
ReplyDeleteALL of the Brain's offseason moves - and I repeat "ALL" are performative at this point, pure Kabuki theater. NOTHING changes, nothing changes.
ReplyDeleteWhen they tear him down from his throne, maybe, in Churchill's words, we'll be at the "end of the beginning" and can move on to regrowth. First, though, we need a forest fire.
mr. bit,
ReplyDeleteZorg could not have said it better. The Yankees must destroy in order to create.
I'm with AA and Stang. Move and move now, before this year's Cy Young and last year's MVP age out.
ReplyDeleteYamamoto is a must. So is Bellinger; our OF is bare bones just now. Yes on Soto. I can't believe there isn't a way to discover if he'll agree to a deal beforehand, but even if there isn't, I say risk it.
Ohtani, I'm less high on, particularly with his injury. But I don't think he wants to come here anyway...
I get it, Kevin. I would prefer that the Yanks were mostly a homegrown team, bringing up a bevy of great rookies every year. But we're not that.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you see someone capable of taking over 3B next year. Because I don't—not after the giant regression of the Oswaldi. I was all for giving Florial a chance last season. Now, I'd rather give Bellinger and Soto a chance.
Kiermaier? No. For the love of God, no. That guy has 50-game flameout written all over him. Much more than being taken down by the (supposedly) great players we acquire—Stanton being a huge exception—we've suffered over the years from acquiring guys who Cashman counted on "coming back" or "getting straight." Kiermaier is just such an individual.
If Kiermaier's the biggest acquisition we make in the off-season, it's an indication that the Yankees are doubling down on losing...
...And the kicker is: the Yanks aren't going to do a blessed thing. All we will is the pretense of being interested.
ReplyDeleteYanks won't sign anyone of note. They won't make a big trade. Cashie is going to insist we have a winning team already in place, we just have to stay away from injuries.
God help us all.
Folks, compadres, fellow degenerates, romans, countrymen!
ReplyDeleteWe all know that whatever Ca$hole does, will depress us.
Marvin the Paranoid Android concurs.
Thanks for all the fish.
Horace, I left an out for myself with third base. But my thoughts are driven by who usually wins rings. Strong pitching staffs, tight defense, and a good but not necessarily great offense. Naturally, being a Yankee fan I want an All-Star at every spot in the roster. But we don't have a GM capable of pulling that off if he had a hundred seasons, a trillion in the multi-verse. We get Soto (who I still want) and I just know that a ball will roll past him in a tight game. We get Bellinger, well if we get Bellinger his shoulder shreds in the first two or three seasons. Conversely, the fucking Sox get him and he has a HOF career playing into his forties. I dunno, lately it seems that the Yankees are in a weird quantum entanglement with bad juju gods. What to do......
ReplyDeleteI’m beginning to worry that it is Boone and Cashman that are having the affair. Look - I’m fine with anyone being with whomever they choose - however in this case I’m very concerned that Hal has no idea what’s really going on. Cash making withdrawals from two different ATMs . . . it’s concerning for the future of the franchise. TROUBLED
ReplyDelete