Bader crosses the street, Snell talks sweet, and the birds cry "Poteet."

The Death Barge churns, with one existential question echoing across the Hudson:

Are we getting there?  

Honestly, I dunno. Yesterday, three stories pinged on the ticker. Do they matter? 

1. Harrison Bader signs with the Mets. Our return in the notorious 2022 Jordan Montgomery giveaway has become Brian Cashman's personal Babadook: No matter how hard Cash tries to throw him away, the Baderdook keeps turning up. 

It's not Bader's fault, but everything about him has caused us pain. In September, Cashman ditched him so the super-hyped Jasson Dominguez could come up and wow  the world. He promptly threw out his elbow and will miss most of 2024. Now, Bader reappears as a Met, and we all know what's next: He'll kill us in the Subway Series.  

Actually, it's not crazy to wonder if Bader won't be New York's best CF this summer. Apparently, the Yankees will stick Aaron Judge in CF, and - yes - he's great. But tell me again the wisdom behind subjecting a 270-pound NBA power forward to gap-to-gap coverage for 150 games? They're going to kill Judge. We have Trent Grisham, a salary dump throw-in from the Juan Soto trade. The Grish has two Golden Gloves, but he hit .198 last year. (Bader batted .232.) So... are we getting anywhere?  

2. According to MLB Rumors - the Walter Cronkite of bullshit - Blake Snell has "an interest" in the Yankees. On the Aaron Rodgers News Relevancy Scale, this rates a score of 0.00001 - or absolutely, completely, why-are-we-printing-this? nothingness. 

Last I looked, any free agent with a lung has an interest in the Yankees. It's called "working the room."

Thus far, all winter, the Yankees have tiptoed around Snell, a two-time Cy Young winner who just turned 31. I think Hal's fanny pack is pinching, and he doesn't want to spend the incredible money that pitchers now demand (and receive.) As usual, he wants something for nothing, which means... drum roll... 

3. Yanks sign Cody Poteet. Technically, they have now broken the 2024 free agency hymen. No one can say Hal hasn't put his wallet on the line. 

To visualize Cody Poteet, imagine Frankie Montas' injury record with Albert Abreu's output. 

Fun Fact #1: They could have chosen Poteet in the recent Rule 5 draft, but by doing it this way, they have three minor league options, allowing them to ping-pong him to and from Scranton. (Remember: It's not the player, it's his number of options.) Fun Fact #2: Rather than protect Poteet in the Rule 5, the Royals chose Matt Sauer from the Yankees.  

Poteet last pitched in 2022 with a 4.45 ERA, then underwent TJ surgery and missed practically all last year. 

Honestly, I think the Yankees are just collecting funny names, as part of an elaborate, secret Monty Python skit. 

Jeter Downs... Clayton Beeter... Jorbit Vivas... Matt Krook... now Cody Poteet.

Seriously, convince me otherwise. 

(One last thing: Monday, we have some incredible news at IT IS HIGH. You and your family won't want to miss this episode.)