Last year, they traded it to the Bears for Dopey Dildox and a pack of matches - thereby qualifying for the Rich Kotite Meltdown Bullhorn, awarded to that extraordinary sports franchise that craps the bed for the current past and future.
It's a rule of sports: Somebody must finish last. Still, it's a rare abomination that does this after dealing its number one pick in the entire draft. It usually brings about front office firings. But it's always due to one disastrous doctrine of ownership:
The need to win now... right now!
Which - fun fact! - happens to be the mentality of the New York Yankees.
The concept is simple. With that draft pick - or in baseball, top prospect - burning a hole in your toreador pants, you jettison the future. You trade for somebody, anybody - from Herschel Walker to Carmelo Anthony to Danny Tartabull - hoping to spawn a ticker tape parade in Gotham, or Mudville, or Cleveland - wherever. And everything goes south.
Okay, maybe sometimes it doesn't totally backfire. Maybe the traded-away No. 1 pick turns into Joe Don Looney ("football's most aptly named player," George Sauer said.) Or maybe you bundle prospects for Chris Sale, who wins you a 2017 world series. Does it matter that he also brings a five-year shit show? Your call...
This winter, despite serious roster issues, the Yankees are embracing a "Win Now" mentality. Their plans balance on the idea that several former stars - Carlos Rodon, Nestor Cortes, Giancarlo Stanton, Anthony Rizzo - will return to form. And maybe they will. Trouble is, that word... "maybe."
An injury to Gerrit Cole or Aaron Judge, and - kaboom! - we could be in the bowels of the AL East, with an aging lineup, a dearth of pitching and frustrated players in their walk years. We didn't trade a draft pick - (that's not allowed by MLB) - but, for the record, we will draft 26th next summer, knocked down 10 slots for signing - gulp - Rodon. In trades and the recent Rule 5 draft, we recently jettisoned nine young pitching prospects. Nine.
Few staffs can survive such a mass evacuation.
It's been a while since the Yankees completely collapsed. (Thinking 1990, though they suffered a mini-meltdown in 2016.) But let's not kid ourselves. It can happen here. Ask the 2023 Mets. Ask Rich Kotite. A Yankapocalypse? Who knows? The worst could be yet to come.
(Final note: Come on, you knew that optimism wasn't going to last!)
Did George Sauer really say that? What a great quote!
ReplyDeleteTrouble is, Duque, the Yanks are as usual going for Mr. In-Between.
ReplyDeleteWere they actually to go all-out on "win now"—sign YY, or Monty/Hader/other relievers, Bellinger—I could respect that. It would make a certain sense.
Instead, they are going for Maybe Win Now, which makes no sense and almost never works.
They Yankees are already in the bowels of the AL east and may soon be relegated to the International League.
ReplyDeleteBut fear not! Help is on the way:
The Yankees acquired Kevin Smith, he of East Greenbush, located somewhere in El Duque's backyard. You all know Kevin Smith, "...although he’s had some success at the minor league level, Smith hasn’t been able to hit in the majors." (source: The Daily Murdoch)
World Series, here we come!
From the Come In Off The Ledge Dept;
ReplyDeleteThe Yanks have signed INF Kevin Smith, who spent the past two years with the west coast powerhouse Oakland A’s after coming over from the Blue Jays. Between those two clubs, he has 333 plate appearances at the MLB level hitting .173/.215/.301 in that time. He exhausted his final option year in 2023., which surprisingly eluded Cashman.
Like NYC subway rats, the team has snagged another slice of discarded pizza.
A few setbacks? A FEW SETBACKS!!? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL THE LAST 15 YEARS!!????
ReplyDeleteAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It appears that the Yanks are banking on all their players being healthy this season. What does that mean? We are reliant on these folks...
ReplyDeleteEric Cressey Director of Player Health and Performance
Michael Schuk Director of Sports Medicine and Rehabilitation
The same folks that brought you last year's Montefiore Einstein Injury Reports...
Kevin Smith. Yeah, that's the ticket. We need more infielders who can't hit.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI just want to remind everyone that it's still early in the off season.
Cashman is not done not doing anything!
He has several free agent targets that he will not sign remaining, as well as a number of possible trades that will not be consummated.
So, even though there is no reason to to not not panic. We should keep that in mind.
Brilliant, Doug! And very true.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Doug. Nails the situation perfectly.
ReplyDeletehttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh_vLKlz2Mc
ReplyDeleteNine pitchers…