Is DJ a new Setback Sevy? and other existential questions, as the end of April looms

Last night, the Death Barge bested a tough, youthful, scrappy ballclub, so plucky that no less than three cities - Oakland, Sacramento and Las Vegas - currently claim them. (See, Stang? That's how you jinx an opponent.) They topped a marquee rollcall of Olympian sluggers - RUIZ! NODA! ROOKER! BROWN! NEVIN! GELOF! BUTLER! LANGIELLERS! ALLEN! YOURNAMEHERE! - by a score of 4-3, thanks to big hits from Giancarlo and Ratso Rizzo, both of whom lifted their BAs into the .230s. 

The Yanks lead the AL East by one half-game over the recovering tankaholics of Baltimore, which we'll face next week after a trip to beer garden Milwaukee.

Once again, our Dream Team 2020 struggled to score - winning via a nonstop firehose torrent of bullpen arms, which will likely turn to dust by June. To be or not to be... When will this lineup hit? That is the question...

Listen: Aside from Cleveland - a city that considers Cher a Hall of Fame rocker - nobody in the AL has a shutdown staff, and the Indians Commanders Guardians soon will drop their guard. We play two home games against Las Oaklamento. Losing either is not an option.

Other news bits...

Oswaldo game logs

1. DJ LeMahieu's celebrated rehab in the dirt leagues last night lasted all of 20 minutes, before his foot barked and he called it a night. He'll get more tests. This is horrible news. It's also normalcy in a Yankiverse that remembers Pavano and Severino. 

DJ hasn't been himself for two years now, and it's time to fear the worst: That he won't be back, or that he'll be compromised, and that Oswaldo Cabrera will soon hit a California mega-drought.

Lately, we've sipped longingly from the Oswaldo-has-figured-it-out punch bowl, but his batting average is falling to - well - where? He was among league leaders. Now... when will it level off?

We're already hoping he can platoon with DJ, but what if 3B becomes a wipeout? We could be back to a bottom third that recalls Lyle Overbay and Jason Nix.

We were told this was a different lineup, a transformed batting order. Exactly how much Yankee gaslighting occurred in March? 

2. Bernie Williams is prepping to play with the NY Philharmonic. Congrats are in order. Cynics will grumble that an ex-Yankee great surely gets preferential treatment, and yeah, there aren't many Core Four members on Spotify. But back when my sons were attending SUNY Purchase, a lonnng time ago, Bernie was taking classes there, honing his guitar skills. 

The lone Parents Weekend I attended, Bernie appeared in an open forum, prompting a crowd so large that the event had to be beamed onto the quad. The guy has put in the work. (As have my sons, BTW. Buy their album, dammit. The Guardian calls them "one of today's great American bands.")  

3. The reality here: If you were to tell me that Gerrit Cole wouldn't throw an inning, and that Aaron Judge would hit .183 through the first four weeks, I'd expect a lot worse than 16-8. 

We keep waiting for the floorboards to cave. I still believe Judge will heat up and lift this team for a month. It's too soon to drink the Draino and/or measure the bridges. But in the backs of our heads, we have to wonder if the Yankees are not telling us everything about Judge's foot. And that's cause for concern.