Thursday, May 16, 2024

Top 10 buttery, melt-in-your-mouth observations following last night's delicious Yankee win, ranked.

 

1. We won.

2. Zone of Death Abundance (yellow) went 9 for 20 with three runs, three RBIs. Rizzo neutered, only Yank to go hitless. 

3. Aaron Judge, now AL 3rd in HRs with 11, is officially on fire. Last night, 4 for 4, bumped his average by 19 points. If I were the Twinkies, today I'd walk the guy every time he sees his shadow. 

4. Six shutout innings by Marcus Stroman, followed by the Amazing and Mysterious Luke Weaver (2 IP, 0 runs.) At age 30, Weaver defies scientific explanation. 

Last year, with three MLB teams, he went 3-6 with an ERA of 6.40. Did he barter his soul with Satan? Did he invent a substance that repels objects from wood? Does he kill hobos and devour their pituitary glands? Whatever. I'm for it. Right now, there is no reason to change anything about him. But if the rotation falters, he's our 5th man. 

5. Down in the Double A bowels of Bridgeport, (which wants to call itself Somerset, but it's really Bridgeport), The Martian last night hath rested. His rehab assignment thus far: 1-for-3 with a walk. 

6. In various depths of minor league Mordor, scores of Yank hopefuls combined to throw three shutouts last night. Most came in short bursts, by pitchers we've never heard of. (Yorlin Calderon? Phil Bickford.) One you know - Clayton Beeter, the Beater with the Heater - threw four at Scranton. Why must everything good happen at once? Hey, juju gods, can't we space these out? 

7. Down in Bridgeport Somerset, on rehab assignment, perpetually injured IF lug nut Oswald Peraza hit his 3rd HR this week. Scranton looms. This year's Estevan Florial? (Hitting .189, 3 HRs, in Cleveland.)  Meanwhile, stud prospects Spencer Jones (o-4 with 4 Ks) and Ben Rice (0-3 with 3 Ks) shat bed. Jones' average (now .237) is sinking without a bubble. 

8. Listless and clunky play by Twinkies tears veneer off Minnesota claim as an ascending AL power. Loss today and series sweep would conjure memories of 1990s "'Sota bitch" status. How did this team win 12 straight? Juju gods are brutal. (Wait. I'm not suggesting  that the juju gods are unfair. In fact, I think they are solid, standup entities, who do a great job under tough conditions. Frankly, those guys don't get the credit they deserve. Not only that, but they look great! Hey, are you guys working out? Way ta go!) 

9. Anthony Volpe near magical .270 batting average threshold. But comparisons to KC shortstop Bobby Witt might have to go. Witt leads AL in runs, hitting .293 in long awaited, third season breakout. (Actually, Volpe - one year behind - could be tracking along Witt's lines.) 

10. Juan Soto leads AL in On Base Percentage with .408. Judge now fifth. We still have yet to see the two of them, simultaneously, in hitting spree. Saving it for Boston, maybe? 

18 comments:

  1. 1) "Did he invent a substance that repels objects from wood?" Yet another Ray Miland reference. :) He's having quite the May.

    2) Still hopeful that Peraza is the SS next year and Volpe moves to 2nd.

    3) "Clayton Beeter, the Beater with the Heater" - That should stick. Good one.

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  2. Stroman gives me agita. So does Rodon. Something about these guys just feels off. But, I carp over nits since they keep winning (more or less).

    Still...

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  3. Enjoying this early season success, but mindful we haven’t encountered adversity yet. Curious to see how today’s game pans out, this is the sort of game the lineup usually sleepwalks through.

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  5. Who ARE these guys? And what have they done with the real Brian Cashman???

    I kid, I kid. Remember 2022, when life was so tender, and no one wept except the willow.

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  6. Pretty damned funny, Peerless Leader. And is Bridgeport really trying to change its name to "Somerset"? Oy. Which would be a better name for it than "Somerset."

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  7. Heard a stat yesterday: BEFORE last night's game, the Yankees are 118-44 against the Twins, going back to 2002. That would, of course, be the best, 162-game record ever, in a regular season.

    Have we broken these guys? Last night, Willie Castro played CF like a guy seriously contemplating his bitcoin investments. Attendance in Minny has been below 24,000 both nights?

    Have we just ground the Twins and their fans into submission? Gee, I hope so. I like playing teams like that.

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  8. Another great month of May for the Yankees. Our fantasy that we have the best team in baseball comes alive in May, blooms in June and falls apart soon after.

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  9. Even more disturbingly, we're only two games behind our 2022 record at this time in the season.

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  10. I didn’t like the Stanton signing from the jump, but as he’s not going anywhere, at what batting average can I start rooting for him?

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  11. It’ll soon be time for Stanton’s annual summer vacation

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  12. Woo hoo! 30-15! (We wuz 32-13 in 2022. Fiddle dee dee!)

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  13. Judge has gone on an amazing tear yet the fake sports media seems interested in other players. So I guess that you really do have to be a HOLE to get ink these days.

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  14. THUuhuhububhuhuhuh-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-UHUHH Yankees win!!!!!!!!!!!

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