Wednesday, May 15, 2024

Top 10 gloriously optimistic takeaways following last night's hummungus Yankee victory, ranked.


1. We won.

2. Zone of Death (yellow) - a veritable bridge collapse two weeks ago in Baltimore - has come alive: 7 for 23, four runs, three RBIs. Nobody hitting below .200. 

3. "And Soto, too?" And Soto, too! Yank batting  order now flip-flopping, top to bottom: RH, LH, RH, LH, RH, LH, RH, LH, SWITCH, repeat.

4. Carlos Rodon starting to resemble the pitcher we thought we signed two winters ago. ERA ranks 20th in AL, 17th in IP, 17th in Ks. Only mistake last night came on game's 2nd pitch, a fatty.

5. Lightning Wrists Stanton's HR - (114 mph, 424 feet) - beating Minnesota's flimsy bloop, (107 mph, 414 feet.) Does Giancarlo have a year in him?

6. Down in dirt league backwater, Single A Tampa - do they play barefoot? - the Martian last night went 1-for-3 with a walk. Jasson Dominquez. He'll DH for 20 days, then be crated and shipped to Scranton, where he'll either knock down fences or languish until Cooperstown Cashman finds a use for him. Considering the hype behind Dominguez, it's hard to see the Brain Trust trading him, (though Cashman is surely salivating over some bad deal.) Right now, though, The Martian immediately replaces Ben Rice and Spencer Jones as the prospects you check on, first thing, before your bangers and mash. (Culinary, not sexual.) 

7. Somewhere in minors - (if it's Tuesday, this must be Bridgeport?) -  Tommy Kahnle last night struck out the side on 10 pitches. Don't know what happened on that one pitch. Can't do much better. The Gulf of (Michael) Tonkin Incident might soon end.

8. Anthony Volpe, over last seven days: .370 BA, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, OBP: .414. Are we watching the formation of a star? (Caveat: He's fanning too much, 8 Ks in 27 ABs. 

9. Gerrit Cole and DJ LeMahieu bringing happy talk to Yankiverse. DJ to start rehab assignment tomorrow or Friday. God knows where. Cole throwing 36 pitches, says he's okedoke. (Of course, he'd be instructed to lie.) Next stop, batting practice. (Mid-June?) 

10. O's lost two straight. Not exactly a bridge collapse, but Yanks now first in AL East by - get this - one fucking percentage point. Print the playoff tickets, Hal! (Also, check out Rays and Jays: Might soon be Tanky Tank Time!)

32 comments:

  1. I’m getting a whiff of optimism here. Beware!

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  2. I didn't see the game last night because I forgot. Really. Completely forgot there was a game.

    This getting old thing isn't too bad yet, but that's a new one. At least we won. As Hoss pointed out yesterday, we're New York's last team standing, or soon will be unless the Rangers and Knicks suddenly get it together.

    Yeah, I don't think so, either.

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  3. Trent Grisham is on the clock...

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  4. Trade material, Ranger. We actually have some kids who have no place to go beyond Scranton, but deserve to be in the majors or will be, soon.

    https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5493674/2024/05/15/yankees-prospect-tiers-how-jasson-dominguez-spencer-jones-and-more-are-progressing/

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  5. If Stanton might have a year left in him, high time to get rid of this dead albatross before the trade deadline.

    Then we could bring up both The Martian and Spencer Jones.

    So far, it looks like we underestimated the Rodent. He's hanging in there, far from our worst pitcher. 12 and 3/4 E.R.A. hasn't happened yet. But there's still a long way to go. In the 1st inning, it looked like Commander Boone might've pressed the self destruct button again. But give Rodent some credit, he recovered, and the spaceship didn't break up and crash land in the New Mexico desert.

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  6. I will not stand for this rank optimism!!

    Who says bangers and mash have to be EITHER culinary or sexual!? I will fight them!!


    Fuck Hal.

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  7. Trade Stanton to the Dodgers for a vintage, mid-eighties Los Angeles County Thomas Guide and a Chaves Ravine ashtray

    (both in used, but like-new condition)

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  8. I wish I was in used, but like-new condition.

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  9. Doug - I promise I wasn’t the one that took it!

    Winny - Remember - you’re as young as you feel - so what ever you do - don’t let anyone touch you!

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  10. Good to see you standing firm, Warbler.

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  11. To trade Stanton would be to "cost" Hal a lot of money. And it would be admitting that Cashman made a mistake.

    So that's double negatory on that one, pardners.

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. I'm in used but like old condition. And AA, remember what Groucho said. You're only as old as the women you feel.

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  14. Got the spelling and everything right that time.

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  15. and that could be why, JM that Groucho is dead

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  16. Stroman had better cut it out with his bullshit tonight! I'm serious!

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  17. Just missed being Stromanized that inning.

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  18. Jesus, this bad breath in dogs commercial is such an old, tired, terrible concept. The commercial stinks more than the dog's mouth.

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  19. Judge is looking really pissed that we all talked smack about him for the last 5 weeks. Pretty sure he just flipped IIH IIF the bird as he cruised into second.

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  20. Stanton's bat self destructed.

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  21. Rizzo looks terrible today.

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  22. Ferguson lucky on that one.

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  23. They haven't shown up, have they?

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  24. THUuhuhububhuhuhuh-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-UHUHH Yankees win!!!!!!!!!!!

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