Sunday, August 18, 2024

I watched Bronx Buds

The YES Network--or the app, anyway--yesterday launched an animated series for kids, alternately titled Bronx Buds and HexClad Presents Bronx Buds. They plan to release episodes on Saturday mornings, because everyone cherishes the memory of Saturday morning cartoons except for kids, teens, recent college grads, and some of the people currently having kids, who are all too young to have watched them. Running time of the first episode is a generous 8:23. 

I was mainly curious about what message the show might try to put across. I mean, there would be at least one, because kids aren't allowed to enjoy themselves without having "sharing is good" hammered into them so it can be traumatically stripped away when they grow up and go to work for McKinsey. But would the message somehow relate to the Yankees? Is there any way a brief, uncomplicated cartoon could pass to a new generation the values of this team under Hal Steinbrenner? 

I am here to tell you yes, my friends, there is a way, and the producers of Bronx Buds found it. Indeed, they put their finger on the core of this organization's true faith. As anyone who ever watched or listened to a Yankee game can tell you, that simple, cherished ideal is in-show advertising. 

The climactic scene--consuming an extravagant 2:34 of running time--is a baseball game, the most important of the season, between your Bronx Buds, a Little League team, and their rivals, the fearsome and despised Queens Hamsters.  The game is played in a well-appointed ballpark with grandstands, dugouts, and an outfield wall peppered with real-life corporate logos. Ad clients on and off the wall include HexClad, which turns out to be a frying pan company (really?), the YES App (I get it), TZERO (which I'll get to), and, most jarringly... 

...Bical Auto Mall of Brooklyn (which exists). As a wide shot establishes the pitcher's POV, an animated beaver drives a car sporting the company logo to the middle of the frame, stops to leer at the viewer, then speeds off. Just like some animated plug on a real Yankee game. Friends, I fell to my knees and wept. Beauty moves me.

So far, we're being sold frying pans, cars, and a streaming app. Nothing a kid would buy. No harm done, right? But the door is open. How long before a Bronx Buds establishing shot is obliterated by an ad for DraftKids?  

I promised to tell you about TZERO. It's the animation studio behind Bronx Buds. Well, not an animation studio, exactly. According to its website it's "a team of visionary artists, storytellers, and animation enthusiasts dedicated to pushing the boundaries of animated entertainment." And push them they did. 



65 comments:

  1. I'd rather watch The Beatles or Three Stooges cartoons

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    Replies
    1. Or the upcoming Saturday morning short form hybrid animated series entitled - Faces of Death meets H.R. Pufnstuf

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  2. Could any of the Bronx Buds pitch? Or hit? The Yankees could use some help.

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  3. ALIEN LANDING:
    From SNY
    The Yankees are set to take on the Detroit Tigers on Sunday Night as part of the Little League Classic from Williamsport, PA, and they’ll have a very intriguing name in the lineup in star prospect Jasson Dominguez.
    Dominguez is officially the 27th man for the Yankees, as both teams are allowed an extra roster spot given the same-day travel for the game.

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  4. Every day above ground is a good day. JM - I'm hoping all is well with you. And Rufus, I'm not giving my stinking money to Hal this year. If we could somehow meet at Woodlawn Cemetery for a picnic in September, I'd be open to that. In the meantime, let's stay locked and loaded, flexible and nimble, and be ready to assemble at some on short notice with our muskets and our buttplugs, along with the gunpowder and the KY Jelly - Yankee Warriors, ready for any contingency. Aloha and onward! Here's to Napoleon's missing cock!

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  5. Thanks, Bit.
    Hey, we have a Martian in left!!! Verdugo should be collecting splinters, but of course, they'll send the kid back down after one game.
    They should send down Verdugo.

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  6. And fuck the Bronx Buds. Shameless crap.

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  7. Stang - Thank you for taking the hit for all of us. Speaking of "hits" I guess we can be grateful that "Bronx Buds" isn't a subliminal ad for a pot store on Fordham Road. At least not until season three.

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  8. As far as Jasson goes. By rule he has to go down to the minors for ten days after tonight. So even if he hits three home runs and Verdugo goes 0 for his next 20 he can't be called up.

    Pretty convenient that the next time he is eligible is close to the Sept 1st call up giving the Yankees another year of control while at the same time making any calls to bring him up NOW moot.

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  9. Last: I liked "Draft Kids" a lot. Good one.

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  10. Glad Wells is sitting, because you know, Skubal is a lefty.

    What dumb shit.

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  11. They're making Screwbal throw a lot of pitches. Great idea. Get him gone in five, at least.

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  12. Ground Ball Lemahieu, who also can't run. Sad.

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  13. Good pitcher's duel so far. Stroman keeping pace with a guy having a great year.

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  14. Incredible. That's the thing with him. Bonehead plays and nice or smart plays, ya never know.

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  15. Yankees need three more runs to __________.

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  16. Do we have to play DJ? Is he in the postseason lineup at any time? It's just pathetic. The poor guy. Stop embarrassing him.

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  17. Dream Weaver pitching. Hopefully not Nightmare Weaver.

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  18. He looks sharp. Boone will take him out.

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  19. Stang,

    You took one for the team there.

    Hope the injuries are not too permanent.

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  20. If permanent, I hope it's a Toni. Which twin had one, anyway?

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  21. Holmes is on the way for the ninth. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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  22. Doesn't seem like a 1-0 final score is likely.

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  23. Holmes! This will not end well.

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  24. I see Hal came to the only game where he knows he won't get booed

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  25. Will it take more than 2 batters for Holmes to blow this?

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  26. Man on second / one out we're toast

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  27. Does Holmes even know how bad he is?

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  28. Gleyber Error or does he not want to look bad in front of the kids?

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  29. Another blown save! Who'd a thunk it

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  30. Holmes who closes for us
    Holmes who loses for us
    Holmes who sucks for us
    All of the damn time

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  31. Looking at who we have, I think Kahnle should be the closer. Better than this clown.

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  32. Boone after the game: “Holmes was throwing the ball well. Really getting over it & his spin rate was elite. He’s still the best closer there is & we’ll keep sending him out there in close games because I trust him. After all, he was really good a couple of years ago so he must be good now.”

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  33. I'm hitting the sack. This looks like a pineapple.

    Thank you, Clay. You suck.

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  34. More from Boone here.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDAmPIq29ro

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  35. I turned it off when they had a mic on that Detroit left fielder—and then asked him, I'm not making it up, if he could tell them how he stays locked in. I hate that shit.

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  36. This Holmes should be foreclosed on.

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  37. We have become dog shit, destroyer of seasons.

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