Listen: I've seen my share of Yankee defeats. I know the signs: the gritty texture, the rank fragrance, the colonoscopy-prep taste - dear, God, they never skimp on warning signals.
It starts in the 1st, when they load the bases and fail to score. It rolls through the 5th, when the career minor leaguer, who they've never seen, channels Koufax. It slogs into the 8th, with 111 mph drives directly at outfielders. It ends with Mean Chad Green, or Aroldis, or Clay Holmes with a four-pitch walk.
Yeah, we all know the looming Yankee loss.
But but BUT... last night, WTF? They won! In fact, that second game in Seattle - it looked like a loss from the first YES mention of Jay Buhner - yet they fucking won! How can this be? What is happening?
Somehow, the Yankees lately are prevailing in obvious losses. In recent weeks, they've won four extra-innings games - this after practically an entire season of blowing them.
Which prompts a question: Do we dare hope?
I say, no. I say, stand back. In fact, I say... run.
This smells like a French fry in a bear trap.
Over the final two weeks, the juju gods could have us capture home field advantage before the final series, letting the Yankees relax before they then go into hibernation with the 1st-round bye. It's frightening enough that they'll sit for a week of downtime. What if they add an extra three or four games?
Also, let's not forget that last night's win came over Oakland, a team that would be approaching legend status, if not for the White Sox. For all my Yankee pessimism, I'm sure A's fans were just as certain of a loss. When it comes to blowing games, we simply had met our match.
So, what am I saying?
Simple. No matter what happens, be ready to suffer. To tweak Monty Python: "Always look on the dark side of life." Let's not fall for the juju gods' sick tactics. Nothing good comes from thinking this team will win. All season, whenever we felt good about them, a losing streak emerged.
So... the magical Magic Number - the one that includes home field advantage - is five. We can cut it tonight, maybe steal another unwinnable game? Baltimore visits Tuesday. Juju or not, we need a nicely padded lead.
We're in Tokyo. I briefly lost my phone. And I have no idea what day it is in NY
ReplyDeleteIn NYC, you would have lost it forever.
DeleteSushi is good no matter what day it is. And wait until you're retired -- you'll *never* know what day it is.
I have trouble remembering what year it is.
DeleteAckee, rice, sailfish are nice, and the rum is fine any time of year. Oh, wait, that's Jamaica, not Tokyo.
DeleteThis sums up everything.
ReplyDeleteWe're winning series, we're winning in extra innings, our pitchers have generally been about as good as they improbably were in April and May.
DeleteI fear repercussions from the juju gods.
duque,
ReplyDeleteCan I borrow one of those lake houses next summer for a couple of weeks? Doesn't even need to be the largest one, as long as it has a hot tub.
Asking for a friend.
Today I get a reality check prior to game - today I see The Substance.
ReplyDeleteED - I’m happy to check in on your Tahoe properties as well. Flush the toilets, clear the spiders and the webs - even check for Goldilocks.
Just need the key code.
You have to give us a review of that movie. Getting a lot of hoopla, but I'm wondering just how good it is.
DeleteAgain, just wait ‘til October…that’s when the real fucking begins.
ReplyDeleteHope is a luxury we cannot afford at the moment. You could say "Hope for the best, but prepare for the best," but I'm more inclined towards the good, old reliable, "DUCK AND COVER" followed by "KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE."
ReplyDeleteThe thing with feathers.
ReplyDeleteThat’s what the poet called hope.
Feathers are for fools.
This West Coast games are a pain in the ass if you live in the East. And Scotland, forget it.
ReplyDeleteThese West Coast games.
Deletethese west coast games are also a pain in the arse if you live on the west coast
Deletesing west coast east coast
its all a pain in de arse
I'll take fries with that
October? Never mind that. Yanks are 4 games up with 8 to go...yet if they only win 4 they will probably lose. They could easily take 2 more against Oakland, then 2 against Pittsburgh to close out the season...and still get swept by Baltimore and lose the division, thanks to Flopsie Vertigo. We could go into the next-to-last series of the season up 4 games...and EASILY lose. THAT'S the cliff that the juju gods are leading us toward.
ReplyDelete...when faced with a JuJu gods cliff, my advice is always to J U M P !
DeleteI cannot believe they DFAed Marinara. Really? Wonder who's going to pick him up off waivers.
ReplyDeleteI'm sad to see him go, too, but I suspect his AYGHOTM (Are You Glad He's On the Mound?) was always higher than his actual performance would justify.
ReplyDeleteNice Radiolab show on NPR right now about tse tse flies, a parasite that carries other parasites. Fun stuff.
ReplyDeleteTse tse flies always remind me of the In-Laws, with Alan Arkin and Peter Falk, when Falk is talking about his adventures and describes how a tse tse fly carried babies away in its beak. One of the greatest comedies ever.
"French fries in a bear trap", LMAO! Priceless!
ReplyDeleteElsewhere in the news, the Yankees DFA'd competent reliever, Marinaccio, while leaving nepo-baby, Leiter, on the 26 man roster and keeping 'Bombs Away' Warren on the 40-man squad. I'm sure the nepo-babies in the front office and the analytics squad have a very clever answer for that.
ReplyDelete