9. A federal ban on celebrity holiday TV specials.
8. A FBI criminal investigation of NFL franchises in New York City.
7. A bullpen lefty who can pitch in 70 games.
6. Another starter, because, "pitching, pitching, pitching..."
5. A slick-fielding 1B with power, who bats LH.
4. An everyday CF who is not Trent Grisham.
3. A Major League 3B. That's all. Any will do.
2. Chronic IBS for a certain way-too smiley Met RF.
1. New Yankee owner. Must suffer from arrested development. Must be trillionaire.
A reasonable and attainable list, Señor Generalissimo Duque. Might I add:
ReplyDelete11. Garlic fries E-Coli disinfectant in the form of "special ketchup"
12. Lower volume of music in the Stadium. MUCH lower]
13. A return to the old ticket prices instead of inflation for the sake of Hal's pockets?
14. A GoFundMe be established to send Brian to baseball re-education camp
15. Health and Harmony and prosperity for all in the extended IIHIIF family
Sadly, the volume everywhere is much lower for me.
ReplyDeleteWHAT!?!
Delete16. A Manager who is just that, speaks eloquently and in a forthright manner, insisting on accountability from both himself and his players.
ReplyDeleteSurely you jest, BTR. This is the Yankees.
Delete22. An in-game, branded muzzle for Boone - Soooo that whoever is still considering tuning in to watch the games on their viewing screens won't have to suffer through his painfully anxious chewing, spitting and bubbling . . .
ReplyDelete23. An end to Yankees trade clickbait that I fall prey to this time of year.
ReplyDeleteThere's a certain inevitability that Clay Bellenger will be a Yankee and Stroman will be a Cub...
ReplyDeleteI think you're right, Ranger. It's fated.
DeleteA case of testicular psoriasis for Hal forcing him to constantly scratch his balls in public.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't he already do that? Maybe I'm confusing him with someone else.
DeleteCarl for the win…
ReplyDelete