New York Yankees team president Randy Levine (pictured above during the meeting in question) was incredulous earlier today when staff informed him that Hong Kong's K11 mall does not have an Orange Julius®.
Sources indicate that the Yankees World Series Trophy Asia Tour itinerary planning session went south after Levine patted another attendee on the back with a couple gentle slaps and said, "man, I can't wait to get me an Orange Julius® when we're at that mall in China. I haven't had an Orange Julius® since like '82. I used to love that stuff!"
The task of breaking the bad news fell to a nervous Brian Cashman, who reportedly cleared his throat like a boy who didn't know the answer in math class before telling Levine that "there, uh...there...is no Orange Julius® -- but I understand that the Gourmet Tower has a gelato shop..."
Feeling as if he were naked in the middle of River Avenue, Cashman then looked around the drafty hotel conference room for some support -- any kind of support -- but the only cover besides a nervous cough and the creaks of a shifting chair or two was a quiet "yeah, gelato is awesome..." from director of Pacific Rim Operations George Rose.
Sources indicate that the Yankees World Series Trophy Asia Tour itinerary planning session went south after Levine patted another attendee on the back with a couple gentle slaps and said, "man, I can't wait to get me an Orange Julius® when we're at that mall in China. I haven't had an Orange Julius® since like '82. I used to love that stuff!"
The task of breaking the bad news fell to a nervous Brian Cashman, who reportedly cleared his throat like a boy who didn't know the answer in math class before telling Levine that "there, uh...there...is no Orange Julius® -- but I understand that the Gourmet Tower has a gelato shop..."
Feeling as if he were naked in the middle of River Avenue, Cashman then looked around the drafty hotel conference room for some support -- any kind of support -- but the only cover besides a nervous cough and the creaks of a shifting chair or two was a quiet "yeah, gelato is awesome..." from director of Pacific Rim Operations George Rose.
Insiders say that Levine stormed from the session with a curt "meeting fucking adjourned!" when Rose later admitted that he in fact had never eaten at Cool Gelato, but that he'd heard from people all across the Pacific Rim that it was really good.
Gelato was good enough for Lazzeri, Crosetti, DiMaggio, Berra, Pepitone and Rizzuto.
ReplyDeleteFIRE RANDY LEVINE.
This explains their refusal to listen to reason and sign John Lackey.
ReplyDeleteI still want an Asian World Series Tour t-shirt though.
ReplyDelete