It. Is. Simple.
If. We. Sign. Cliff. Lee. We. Will. Win. The. World. Series.
Understand?
Sign Cliff Lee... Win World Series.
No signy Cliff Lee... No winny World Series.
Get it? OK, chant: Sign Cliff Lee! There's no Plan B!
Listen... sir... please... in the name of God... if you've ever listened to anything... listen now:
IF WE SIGN CLIFF LEE, WE WILL WIN THE 2011 WORLD SERIES!
Are you getting this? Are you hearing this?
If we sign Cliff Lee, we, you -- the New York Yankees -- will win the 2011 World Series. That will make us -- you -- World Champions. You will be general manager and architect/builder of the World Champion 2011 New York Yankees. Champions. Kings. Sires. Top dogs. Jeefes.
You. Sir. Will. Have. Done. Your. Job.
SIGN CLIFF LEE!!
What? You want me to beg? You want me to go into italics? OK, look... I'm in italics now! God, it hurts! I'm crimping to the right. Oh, the pain! Can't... type... much.... longer... but... must... continue... to... help... team....
Will... try... to... incorporate... caps...
SIGN CLIFF LEE. SIGN CLIFF LEE. Must... go... on... SIGN CLIFF LEE. Hands... on... fire... SIGN CLIFF LEE... This... is... Yankee... fanhood.... SIGHN CLIFF LEEEEEEE...
And trade him for John Lackey?
ReplyDeleteIf we had signed John Lackey last winter, instead of screwing around with Javier Vazquez, WE WOULD HAVE WON THE WORLD SERIES.
ReplyDeleteThat is the greatest letter ever written.
ReplyDeleteLet me get this straight. Do you think we should sign Cliff Lee or not? Don't just keep hinting.
ReplyDelete