Occupy River Ave.

El Duque has really hit on something. It’s time to take action!  I particularly love the Joey Gallows. I also loved creative rioting, which should be a night school class at Bronx Community College. Creative Rioting 101. Taught by a failed insurrectionist. Maybe the idiot who invented the Glitter Bomb.

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I’m all for a full-blown insurrection. But it needs to be done right. At our age it would be all too easy to have insurrectile disfunction.

It is not enough to simply register our disapproval of MLB in general and the NY Yankees in specific, we need demands. Here’s a quick list…

1) The first change we want is change for our twenty when we buy a hot dog and a soda! I’m thinking eight bucks back.

2) Speaking of bucks back… We want Buck back! So, fire Boone and find some stupid clause in Showalter’s old contract that gives the Yankees the right to retain him.

3) Real bats on Bat Day! C’mon how much could it cost to have full size bats. Some insurance company will pay. Make them in China. We’re OK with bats from Chin… Make them in the USA!  Don’t worry, nothing bad will happen when 36,000 fans all holding full sized Louisville Sluggers watch El Chapo walk the first two guys.

And most importantly…

4 No A-Rod! Ever! Not in the Booth. Not in the Stands. Not in the Hall. Not anywhere. Ever! Seriously. Just give us this and we will disperse.

I’m open to other suggestions.

Last

We should look at successful insurgencies from the past to see our way forward because as we all know, he who fails to learn from the past is doomed to repeat it.  Does the name Javy Vazquez ring a bell?

What doomed the Whiskey Rebellion? Hint: Whiskey! So no getting drunk until early evening or at least until late afternoon.

Mao had his little red book. Thomas Payne had his pamphlet, “Common Sense”. Even the Industrial Revolution came with assembly instructions.

We need a manifesto.  Duque?