Friday, December 2, 2022

Yankee Holiday Newsletter



Happy Holidays Yankee Customers!

On behalf of the rest of the Stienbreners, GM For Life Brian Cashman, Aaron Boone, Lonn Trost, Randy Levine, and our shareholders and bondholders, I want to wish you the warmest Season's Greetings.

Thank you for choosing to spend your entertainment dollar with us and we look forward to even more opportunities to enrich your fan experience with an even better product in 2023.

Your pal,

 Hal (Steinbrenner) 

2022 Was Another Great Year For The New York Yankees!

Yankees Set First Half Win Percentage Record!

'27 Yankees move over! From April to June the 2022 Yankees showed that we were the best team in baseball and were playoff bound! 

Yankees Win AL Run Differential Title!!!

Great job and kudos to our cubicle commandos in the analytics department as our heroes in pinstripes took home the AL Run Differential Championship beating our rival Houston Astros by twenty one runs! 

As if that wasn’t enough... out exit velo was tops in the bigs! 

Crack open a bottle of champagne boys. You deserve it. 



More Great Numbers!



Former Yankee employee and greedy opportunist Aaron Judge had one of the greatest years in Yankee History ™ and helped drive strong attendance as we once again eclipsed three million paying customers.






The Ninja Strikes Again!

Once again our great GM Brian Cashman made a series of trade deadline deals getting rid of potential Rule 5 castoffs for key pieces that set us up for a prosperous future. 

Freddie Montas looks to slate in as our number two by May of next year, while Scott Effros will be anchoring the pen by 2024 the latest.  Cashman built on the success of his offseason deals that added a 3B a SS and Ben Rortvedt! Our musclebound catcher is already  hitting off a tee and looks to be a big part of next season’s Murderer’s Row. 

The Kids Are Alright!  

Our youngsters Oswald Cabera and Oswaldo Peraza got important experience last season. Cabrera proved to be a jack of all trades filling in by playing several positions and Peraza, from his catbird seat on the bench, got to see what the playoffs looked like up close! We will be seeing a lot more of this pair as soon as current shortstop IKF’s contract expires.

Aaron Boone in Conversation For Greatest Yankee Manager Ever!

By adding another 99 wins to his already impressive resume Aaron Boone moved up the most wins as a Yankee Manger! Our bubblegum chewing Yankee Skipper has already “blown” past such Yankee luminaries as Dallas Greene and Jack Keane, and is knocking on the door of being top five. Do I hear extension? 

And Speaking Of Extensions!!!

The Yankees and Brain Cashman Renew Vows




“Til Death Do Us Part” With those simple words and after twenty-five years of unparalleled success we decided to renew our vows in a simple ceremony.






Here’s to the next twenty-five!

See you next season! 

Hey, you know what makes a great holiday gift? 

Yankee Tickets! 


2 comments:

  1. That is simply hilarious, Doug! And all too true.

    ReplyDelete

  2. I was on pins and needles...PINS AND NEEDLES!...hoping to see some mention of our own Jackie Asshole almost finishing as one of the others receiving mention for the 2022 Gold Glove Award. Get em' next year champ!

    ReplyDelete

Members of the blog can comment. To receive an e-mailed invitation, write to johnandsuzyn@gmail.com. And check spam if it doesn't show up. (Google account required.)

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.