Under enormous global pressure - (death threats, hacker attacks?) - Derek Jeter yesterday succumbed to the Fox/Arod/Papi crime mob, and donned the tyrannical symbol of his modern Yankee oppressors, attempting to convince people that his previous resistance was merely "a skit."
A skit.
Was the Alamo a skit? Was Tiananmen Square a skit? Was the battle of Gettysburg, the Boston tea party, the Flip, the Dive, the slapping of Chris Rock, LT's breaking of Joe Theisman's thigh? Are we living in a skit? And if so, who is writing it? AI machines? Ben Affleck? John Kerry? Nomar Garciappara?
So crumbles another Yankee fan hope - that The Captain would return - like Godot, or JFK Jr. - to burn down the current establishment, restore the Pinstripes to glory, and surgically disappear all those who would claim the epicenter of baseball has moved to Texas, where it's more accepted to carry an assault rifle than a wire cutter.
The other day, when David Ortiz handed him a cowboy hat - black, of course, symbolizing pure evil - Jeter flatly refused, saying New Yorkers don't wear such offensive monstrosities.
For a few moments, across this deeply troubled planet, there was hope.
The event tracked with Papi's previous attempts to break Jeter. Back in June, he handed Jeter a "gift" to be opened on national TV. It turned out to be a Redsock jersey stitched with Jeter's number and name. Jeter quickly discarded it.
Last night, at least the Astros got their comeuppance. The Fox announcers won't anymore be comparing Houston to the Yankees under Joe Torre. But in this barren millennium, the Astros have won two world series rings: Boston has four, San Francisco has three, and the Cardinals, Astros and Yankees each have two.
We're still waiting in the pumpkin patch for someone to appear. Is anybody out there?
https://youtu.be/oFtNAXxwn-I?si=YnI4RvrZE9ZjrTtj
ReplyDeleteNo one is coming. We are doomed.
ReplyDeleteI’d love to see DJ. In some official capacity with the team, but if that was going to happen, it already would have by now.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking this morning (I know, an increasing rarity) the damage cashman, et al, has done to this franchise is incalculable.
Bartolo Colon, Didi, Robby Cano and some other middle-aged former major leaguers have signed up for a new league in Dubai. One of the investors in the league is the Great Rivera.
ReplyDeleteSupposedly, there are some new rules that will appeal to the massive number of cricket fans in the region. Will Colon bounce the ball to the plate? Will Cano wield a flat bat?
Can any of these guys still play baseball beyond an Old Timer's Day level?
And AA, that's a hell of a song. Plus, Uncle Floyd was a riot. Channel 68 from Jersey. Watched Dobie Gillis on it, too, not to mention exciting documentaries like How to Fold the Flag.
The Rangers & Bochy are the anti-Yankees. Bochy actually manages the game. He doesn' listen to what some computer geek tells him to do. Seager had a great year, again a guy Ca$hman didn't make an offer to. Then they got Evoldi for short money and got this guy Montgomery, who looks pretty good. Maybe Hal should pat attention to the teams that actually want to win.
ReplyDeleteI was luvin' it last night. Livin' la vida loca. In a Gadda da Vida. When the Rangers took an 8-2 lead, I knew it was over.
ReplyDeleteCome on, let's see those hands up in the air, everyone sing:
Here comes Al-tu-ve hit by a hundred three
It's all part of my fantasy
I hate the ASS-stros want to see them drowned
Blown up into the sky crushed into the ground
It's all part of my ASS-stros loss fantasy
It's all part of my ASS-stros loss dre-ee-ee-eeam
You know that Jeter holds a grudge and hates the Genius for the time, he was unappreciate and rude to the Captain, concerning the contract issue, way back when.
ReplyDeleteKinda reminds of the time when Achilles killed Hector, described in Homer's Iliad. All of the other Greeks came and stabbed Hector's body, saying "the son of a bitch don't think he's so tough now, does he?" or the equivalent, whilst roaring with laughter.
ReplyDeleteThe ASS-stros don't look so tough now, do they? LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL!!!!
The cheatin' bastards couldn't go quietly. The same turd, Abreu, drills Garver in the ribs with a 98 mph fastball. I was glad to see our Gunslinger Chapman drilled an ASS-stro in the leg with a 104 mph fastball. Too bad it didn't hit bone. Our fastball is harder than your fastball!
ReplyDeleteIn the 4th inning, Montgomery facing Kyle Tucker, throws a fastball up and in that was a swinging strike, then throws fastball low and away for a called strike, then throws a curveball right over the plate but bounced in the dirt for a swinging strikeout.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember Monty pitching like that for the Yankees. He was okay when he was here, but he never really knew what he was doing. Then the Cardinals had him being much more aggressive and throwing a lot more fastballs. And he has continued that with the Rangers. Now, he does know what he's doing. You know he never would've developed like this if he had stayed with the Yankees. I hope he gets a ring this year.
I don't think it's any coincidence that the team with one of the best managers in baseball punched its ticket to the World Series last night. When you compare the stupid charades of Aaron Boone with a real professional like Bruce Bochy, you can see how far the Yankees have to go. All you can do is wonder how they hired an inexperienced schumck like Boone.
ReplyDeleteHammer, they hired an inexperienced schumck like Boone because he gave good interview.
ReplyDeleteWhich translates into: "Show me the ass and I'll kiss it."
Which is exactly what The Intern wanted.
H o G - Mr Allen :
ReplyDeleteI just heard a new "boooone" version of a well known song by Queen, paying in my head.
It sorta goes like this:
ASS-KISSER! ASS-KISSER!! ASS-KISSER!!!
I want to be an ASS-KISSER
I want to kiss some ASS
I want to be an ASS-KISSER
May I kiss yours, CASH!
I'll tell you who's in that pumpkin patch -
ReplyDeleteCrackhead Cash is passed out, having piss the pair of shorts that are pulled down to his ankles. He's got a bottle in one hand, some Xanax are in his pocket, vomit down his shirt and he has also shat himself. He's surrounded by 90s porno magazines and is snoring heavily. When he wakes up, for a brief moment, he's going to wonder why he's not in his own bed.
AS LONG AS THIS IS THE CASE, NOBODY ELSE IS GOING TO APPEAR IN THAT PUMPKIN PATCH. NOBODY.
WE ARE DOOMED. NOBODY IS GOING TO COME SAVE US.
ALL WE CAN DO IS BEG THE JUJU GODS TO REMOVE THE BLIGHT KNOWN AS HAL.
The Giants have signed Bob Melvin as their Mgr. this is but the beginning of an offseason of other teams improving themselves in ways both big and small while we are static, foundering.
ReplyDelete@AA & @JM...I was a "Viewer of the Week" on that show. Saw Floyd at The Bottom Line a few times...
ReplyDeleteRanger - what exactly did it mean to be viewer of the week?
ReplyDeleteCurious to know the detailed details.
Watching the Phils go down. Among other things...what a dull fucking game. Watching one Phillie after another swing at curves and sinkers way out of the strike zone.
ReplyDelete@AA...so when Floyd had his show on Channel 68, he had a viewer of the week. Basically anyone could nominate a viewer or themselves. Viewers would mail in the nominations. Well, one eventual week, he read my nomination and he sent me a "Viewer of the Week" plaque (piece of paper) like everyone else got when they got their accolades.
ReplyDeleteI still have it somewhere...he actually signed it personally...
Boy those ratings for Texas and Arizona will go through the roof eh?
Pheast or Phamine
ReplyDeleteArizona vs Texas
ReplyDeleteMMM MMM Good
(Thanks Ranger - appreciate the information about Floyd)
The Diamondbacks did it all with "small ball". Bunts. Steals. Sac Flies... you know, BASEBALL.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of glad they won despite my animosity toward the team's owner stemming from his classless bullshit from 2001.
Not a Philly anything fan. Plus every time I saw Harper and/or Realmuto excel the "what if / if onlys" were starting to get to me.