Nobody loves a bidding war more than our Hal Steinbrenner, the only owner we own. And when it's merely money at stake, Dear Leader surely won't let this one get away.
Thus, let's ponder the 2024 World Championship Yankee Rotation:
Cole
Yamamoto
Rodon
Cortes
Montgomery (Yes, Hal will work the home front, too.)
So, who is our next Pinstriped superstar?
Ten Fun Facts about Yoshinobu Yamamoto:
1. Since 2017, he is a three time Japanese Triple Crown winner, a two-time Pacific League MVP, and with two Eiji Sawamura Awards. (That's right, two Cy Sawamuras! For reference, Kai Igawa and Yu Darvish each won one, and Masahiro Tanaka took two.)
2. He'll turn 26 next August.
3. He is 5'10 inches, 177 pounds, (qualifying him as the long-awaited, mythical cryptid known as "The Yankee Pedro.")
4. He throws right-handed. (Like Pedro did.)
5. His fastball is said to average 95 mph and top out at 99. (Like Pedro's.)
6, His splitter is considered to be exceptional, an MLB out-pitch. (See above.)
7. His career ERA is 1.82, and his won-loss record: 70-29. (Better than Pedro's.)
8. He averages 2 walks per game. (See above.)
9. He is the first Japanese pitcher ever to throw no-hitters in two consecutive seasons.
10. His no-no in September coincided with a scouting visit from Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman, who for the last 20 years has chased the Great White Whale of pitchers. (Imagine what he was thinking...)
11. Bonus point... He can keep number 43, currently worn by Jonathan Loaisiga. (Its current legacy is a mix of Raul Mondesi, Rudy May and Jim Ray Hart.)
The Yankees haven't had an Asian star since Tanaka. The Benihana Steak House radio in-game read-throughs have been silent for too long.
If Prince Hal really intends to resurrect this team, it must begin with the best pitcher available on the open market. Surely, he will step up to the plate.
The whole world is watching... The whole world is watching... The whole world is watching...
Honestly - Yamamoto may be our only hope against Rodan.
ReplyDeleteThe future survival of the free world may be at stake.
Rodan has been IL’d, NLP’d, plumped up and Shaked and Blaked but nothing has worked.
Gentlemen - the secret to turning Rodan around is acquiring Yamamoto!
(Plus think of the wonderful post Hoss will write about Isoroku Yamamoto)
Hey, you left out our newest starter in 2023, Mikey King. There will be room for him, once Rodon goes on the IL and Nestor doesn't come back with his previous nastiness.
ReplyDeleteI had said I thought Trevino and Nestor should enjoy their trip to the All-Star game when it happened, because it will never happen again for either of them. They had their best years that year, but reversion to the mean and all that.
Happy to be wrong about that, but somehow I don't think so.
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ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the Nasty whilst he lasted (even have a T-Shirt to show for it).
ReplyDeleteI’d rather have a plucky import rather than a moody, thick around the middle, injury prone 30 year old on the decline in my rotation.
It’s only money, Hal.
And Rodón will likely spend at least an additional month in the IL next season with strained stiffness of his sore core rotisserie sack.
You’ll make most of it back in Yankee Yamamoto frenzy dollars.
Y Y K - OK?
We better get this guy or I will personally deliver a bullwhippin' Dumbass Cashman will never forget. All the stars are aligned for this guy to be a Yankee. Hey, the first two letters of the guy's name start with a "Y" and an "A"! And you know how Cashman loves to bring in guys with great names. The name of the player seems to be the biggest factor for Cashman's decision-making.
ReplyDeleteCan you think of all the fun we'd have with Yoshinobu Yamamoto?
There can be The Moto Man night. Everyone wear your leather jackets, riding gloves. Wear chrome, lots of shiny chrome.
The Yamato was a giant WWII Japanese battleship. Yamamoto has an extra "ma" in there, but close enough. We chased it down and sunk it.
There used to be commercials on t.v. for a silly board game called "Battleship". Two guys would be calling out coordinates like B6, F7, followed by sounds of explosions. Then one guy stands up and roars "You sank my battleship!"
Imagine, in an empty Yankee Stadium, even if he loses, we can still get to stand up and roar, "YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP!!!"
Plus, he's a member of the madcap Japanese comedy act, San'nin no tesaki, made up of Yamamoto, Yamalarryto, and Yamacurleyto.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see him take the pliers to Boone's nose.
JM - that was pure, undiluted inspiration . . . I raise my steaming hot cup of YamaMOJOE (made with freshly roasted beans personally counted by Hal) towards both you and HoG on this fine Monday Morning.
ReplyDeleteThanks, AA. I join you in also saluting HoG, my coffee cup raised high.
ReplyDeleteOne more fun fact about him: he will never be a Yankee.
ReplyDeleteJM - do you think that Rodon will ever be back from his strained stiffness of his sore core rotisserie sack?
ReplyDeleteIf Cashman's history is any guide, I'll be surprised if Rodon pitches more than half the season and has an ERA under 5.50.
ReplyDeleteRodon=Ponson
ReplyDeleteJM - Super good!
ReplyDeleteWent to the old Internet anagram server. out of the hundreds of interesting anagrams for "CARLOS RODON," these caught my eye first:
ReplyDeleteAcorns Drool
Oral Condors
Narc Rod Sol
Oral Corn Sod\
We are doomed.
You betcha, AA!
ReplyDeleteFor starters...what does Isoroku mean? Again: it has mystic Yankee significance!
But...I very much doubt if HAL is going to spend the money. More internet propaganda.
Sorry about missing the Sunday conversation. I was out of town. BUT...Yes, Jeter for GM! Hell, he should buy the damned team!
ReplyDeleteDoug, I think he's everywhere now because he's bored to death. He wants to raise his presence, make a little money. HAL should sign him NOW. 2024 ticket sales would go through the roof!
It won't happen.
Hoss - if only you knew my history with the line, "YOU BETCHA!"
ReplyDelete( wait - maybe you already do :) )
THANK THE FUCKING LORDS OF BROADWAY WE HAD NO INTEREST IN A STIFF LIKE COREY SEAGER!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFuck you oh yes fuck you fuckedety fuck you Hal!
Rodon is the LEAST of it, AA...
ReplyDeleteSUCK MY ASS ASSTROS!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd fuck fuck fuck Haaaalllllll!!!
Agreed, Warbler! I'm loving watching the Astros die, out by out...and at the same time, wanting to weep over what we could've been.
ReplyDeleteUh-oh. They put in Torrents. Now 10-3.
ReplyDeleteStill...
They keep saying how baseball has the longest streak in North American sports without a repeat champion.
ReplyDeleteThe last one? Your New York Yankees, of course.
Why doesn't this make me happy?
Because it was before any of us were born Horace.
ReplyDeleteAnd Altuve with ANOTHER home run off Leclerc. I think if Philly makes it, they'll take Texas.
ReplyDeleteNah-nah-nah-nah...
ReplyDelete