Jets?

 

Jet[s]!

Jet[s] I can almost remember their funny faces,

That time you told'em you were gonna be marrying' soon

And Jet[s], I thought the only lonely place was on the moon...

The only competition remaining for the Yankees this year is the one that El Duque, our Peerless Leader, invented. That is, the competition to see if they can once again haul in the Tabloids Crown, in the riveting race for small paper covers and back pages.

Shockingly, this is no guarantee, even if it is late October and the Yanks currently have a 26-page lead on their closest competitors, the Mets, 135.5-109.5. That lead seems safe, no matter how much wheeling and dealing the Flushing team does. This signing or that trade just doesn't seem likely to take up extended tabloid frontage or backage.

But...there is another contender out there, one still in an active season that might just be getting started...

Jet[s], was your father as bold as a sergeant-major?

Oh, how come he told you that you were hardly old enough yet?

And Jet, I thought the major was a lady suffragette!

Jet[s]!

Usually, the Jets would have to split the pro football pages with your New York Football Jints. But the Giants suddenly look SO hapless that it seems doubtful that anyone would want to read anything about them.

Usually, the Jets' season, too, would be done by now. And so it seemed when Aaron "Gasbag" Rodgers went down after only four downs this season. But somehow, the team seems to have revived, even flourished. 

Zach(k) Wilson at QB is not exactly good, but at least he is no longer actively losing games for the Jets. The defense seems to be everything it was supposed to be, and more. 

Could this be the Autumn of the Jets, the air filled with renditions of Paul McCartney's ebullient—if incomprehensible—lyrics to "Jet!"?

Let's do the math. The Jets, right now, are in third place in the Tabloid Covers Race, with 90. That's amazing enough right there. Since 2017, they have never managed more than 69.5 in a year (2018). That leaves them only 45.5 behind the dormant Yankees...with 71 days to go. With two tabloids, that makes 142 possible covers—not even counting the front pages.

It's hard to picture the Yankees winning more than a handful of covers—mostly of the speculative variety that we saw today. But the Yanks will not trade for Juan Soto. They won't trade for or sign anyone of any significance whatsoever. They won't do a damned thing. 

Hot-stove league speculation only drives so many covers. Chances are, 56 covers could make the Jets the champs. That's less than one a day. 

This dethroning would be a remarkable comedown for the Yankees, who have held the title since at least 2017. That year was also the high-water mark for the Bronx team, capturing 286.5 pages during their giddy, surprise run to within a game of the World Series. 

They haven't really come close to that total since, and will probably reach a new low in 2023. Even in the Covid year of 2020, they claimed 152 covers. This is indicative of the team's failing grasp on the public, and would be a matter of concern to the Yankees' front office—save for how resolutely they refuse to pay the least attention to us.

Jet[s], with the wind in your hair of a thousand places

Climb on my back and we'll go for a ride in the sky...

Well, whatever. The Jets threaten fair to oust our boys this season. And that should tell us something.