Tuesday, November 21, 2023

Yerry De Los Santos, Yankee for a minute?

Every now and then, in the bowel movement of a dreary month - like, well, now - the Death Barge briefly brings aboard a new and mysterious stranger, much like the episode of Gilligan's Island where a loopy, beefcake surfer rides a tsunami all the way to their tropical paradise, prompting a lustful competition between Ginger and Marianne, which eventually requires the castaways to band together and convince the interloper to surf back to civilization. (Note: He hits his head on a rock and suffers amnesia - shocker here - stranding the group for another season.)  

In this case, the wandering traveler signs a Yankee contract, fills a roster slot, gets replaced by a slightly warmer body and surfs off into the cold, cruel winter. And for the rest of his life, he can appear at Ramada Inn card conventions under a sign that says, "Former Yankee..."

Whatever.

That's how I see yesterday's signing of Yerry De Los Santos, a 25-year-old (turns 26 Dec. 12) bullpen lug nut, by way of Pittsburgh, whose 3.33 ERA last year (over 24 scattered innings) would have placed him between Ryan Webber (3.14) and Anthony Misiewictz (3.38) in the 2023 Yankee pig book.

De Los Santos throws a sinker, which the Yankee AI brain trust likes. He's a 6'2" righty from the Dominican Republic, with two minor league options, who won't become a free agent until 2029, when we're all dead anyway,  so - I mean - WHATEVER. He sorta fills the pre-Thanksgiving news gap, which is increasingly filled by things like pickleball, cornhole and pumpkin chucking. 

But there's a reason why I'm devoting an entire post to him today, and it's the effortless way his name rolls over your gin-bloated tongue.

Yerry De Los Santos. 

Lyrical, no? Up there with my all-time fave: Ramiro Mendoza. 

Let the record show that Yerry De Los Santos donned a Yankee cap in the cold final months of 2023. I mean no disrespect, but my bet is that he'll be gone by Dec. 31, replaced by a Moonlight Graham. Who knows, maybe a rogue wave will take him to another city, another team. As for us Yank fans? This is a tale of our castaways. We're here for a long, long time...

31 comments:

  1. I’m gonna go a different route, I’ll say he’s a spring training surprise. Spends April in aaa, comes up in May when Jonny L goes back on the il, and pitches above average for a out a month before “shoulder inflammation” disappears him from the Yankees, only to return as the one guy you never remember for the year end sporacle quiz

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  2. Hey, a mediocre 25 year old! Wow, we can fuck him up in all kinds of ways. Unleash the coaches!!

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  3. When he gets a save, Sterling's call will be "Yerry Xmas"

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  4. The Professor annnnnnnnnnnd Mary Ann...

    It's shameful to realize that, in the original season, they didn't even warrant a shout-out on the opening theme.

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  5. Five little known Gilligan's Island themed porn movies.

    Gilligan's Thighland
    Making Thurston Howl.
    The Professor annnnnnnnd Mary Ann
    A Three Hour Tour (A Three Hour Tour)
    Aye,Aye,Skipper

    One more...

    Little Buddy

    Bonus Footage

    Deep Boat - Linda Lovelace falls overboard while on a "pleasure cruise" and washes up on the island.


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  6. I'm so excited.

    The Intern is my hero.

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  7. Hey Doug?

    Are those available on VHS or super 8?

    Asking for my friend.

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  8. Sorry, only View-Master and Kenner's Give-A-Show projector.

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  9. I guess we need a new metric LBI...Losses Below Injury...

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  10. " It's Kenner...it's fun....rawk!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm51S57BrpM

    Linda's most famous gobble was the comedian Yerry Lewis.

    Interesting bit of trivia: Tina Louise was so typecast as Ginger that she had to find employment in an alternate industry. She became a NYC teacher. She followed in the footsteps of Ron Jeremy (Speaking of Linda Lovelace).

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  11. And on top of that, they asked Jayne Mansfield to play Ginger and she turned down the role for fear of typecasting...

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  12. Mansfield needed to get her head on straight.

    Don’t get up, I’ll let myself out…

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  13. Where I spend winters in Hawaii is across the street from the boat harbor the minnow sails out from in the opening credits.

    I could probably find a willing soul to take the Yankees brainless trust on a three hour tour. Preferably to an island where cannibalism is still en vogue.

    I'll start a GoFundMe page. I'll match every donation.

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  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  15. Jayne and Sophia Loren is one of my favorite photos ever.

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  16. https://www.obsev.com/entertainment/the-untold-story-of-gilligans-island/

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  17. Isn't this what The Genius does, a whole not of nothing?

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  18. Here's another bit of trivia:

    The steel cross member across the bottom rear of a tractor-trailer is named the "Mansfield Bar" after her decapitation because the ICC mandated that device as a preventative for an auto being able to slide underneath that cargo trailer.

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  19. Carl,

    Certainly sounds better than an ICC bar.

    I think Mae West got the better deal having life preservers named after her.

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  20. Looks like your New York Yankees have just picked up another catcher - - - to be our bench coach.

    Welcome to the BooneAtorium - Brad Ausmus.

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  21. It was particularly unfair—the first year, they were referred to just as "and the rest"—because Mary Ann was hotter than Ginger and the Prof did everything on the island.

    "Hey, look, I've created an island-wide phone network out of coconuts! Just wish I could invent something navigable..."

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  22. Ausmus started his baseball life as a Yankee—from CT, 48th round pick in the 1987 amateur draft. Put in 5 years in the minors, before Colorado plucked him from us in the expansion draft.

    Decent player. Good fielding catcher (won 3 Gold Gloves) with a strong arm, who was also an adequate hitter (.251/.325/.344/.669, with a little pop). Got to the Series once with Houston.

    Snoresville.


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  23. I remember the early days of free agency, when life was slow, and oh, so mellow. Yanks almost always made a big signing around the holidays.

    I couldn't believe it when they signed Catfish on New Year's Eve, 1975. Then there were Don Gullet (11/18/76) and Reggie (11/29/76), Rawly Eastwick (12/9/77), Luis Tiant (11/13/78) and Tommy John (11/21/78), Dave Winfield (12/15/80).

    Before the New Year, they usually had their biggest targets already signed, sealed, and delivered, and you could hardly wait for the season.

    Sigh.

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  24. You just made me really sad, Hoss...

    I have a friend from high school whose father was Curt Flood's lawyer. By later in life, she fully understood the impact that fact would have on men she told it to.

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  25. I thought for sure I was back in Minnesota when I saw the headline and that some nurse had spelled what she heard for his birth certificate when his mom said Jerry and it just never got corrected.

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  26. Oh, and Jaraxle? I think you have Yerry's progress down to a "T" (but not Terry!).

    What nobody will talk about is that the early flameout will be due to the Yankees' vaunted "Gas Station," miraculously adding five miles an hour to his fastball, just as they did with Jordan Montgomery. One TJ surgery later...

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  27. Hoss, you're correct. We are dealing with a philosophy and a system that is flawed. Until THAT is destroyed, nothing will change. And that is the product of Brainwashed Brian, Boy Wonder. And his faithful master Hal, who lets Brian keep his toy laboratory called "The Org."

    We are doomed.

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  28. Speaking of pitching...

    Ichiro Suzuki throws 116-pitch complete game against high school girls team at 50 years old

    https://nypost.com/2023/11/21/sports/ichiro-suzuki-throws-116-pitch-complete-game-against-high-school-team/

    You gotta love this guy...

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  29. Thanks for posting that, Doug K. I do love that guy.

    Here's another unbelievable Ichiro video.

    Enjoy.

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