It seems settled U.S. law that, sometime around the next full moon - (July 13, if you're scoring at home) - the Yankees will cancel Mr. Joey Gallo, dealing him for something, anything, whatever they can get. Since late May, the Sonny Gray whispers - ("Shh, the dude can't handle New York...") - have echoed through the stadium rafters. He's now a certified disappointment, a sad soul who couldn't navigate the wickedness of Gomorrah. And speaking for Gomorrians everywhere, we're tired of turning to salt whenever Gallo strides to the plate.
I suppose there's still a frozen Eggo's chance in Hell for Gallo to go bonkers and save his Yankee career. The other day against Houston, when he came up with critical runners on base, Michael Kay suggested that all his Yankee teammates, coaches, scouts and ushers believe Gallo to be one hit - just one hit! - from breaking through to the land of Oz, from cueing the balloon drop and shacking up happily with some photogenic offspring of Alec Baldwin or Herschel Walker. And suddenly, Kay had us clapping to save Tinkerbell. You could feel the energy. Would it finally happen? JUST ONE HIT! Gallo struck out, of course, and though Tinkerbell survived, I can't honestly root for him anymore, fearful that a HR simply means another six weeks of torment.
Speaking of six weeks - that's how much time Bryce Harper is expected to miss due to his broken thumb. Meanwhile, the Phillies will scouring the Earth for a slugging LH outfielder who needs a change of scenery and comes cheap. I think the phrase "comes cheap" is the key. They'll want Gallo for a bag of buttered popcorn. Frankly, I'd demand two. (That's down from the four viable prospects we gave up a year ago.)
Philadelphia's clock is ticking. They need help NOW, not on August 1. A window has opened, and the Yankees must entertain all opportunities.
So, what packages could we cook up, and what do we need? Here are some Yankee trade chips, ranked, sorta, because who's not into rankings?
1. Miguel Andujar. Last night, he went 2-4 with a HR - (game-winner, BTW) - at Scranton. He played LF. Miggy's hitting .306 on the season. He's still 27 - that's a babe in terms of Clint "Jackson" Frazier years. Unless the Yankees suffer a rash of outfield injuries, Andujar will go at the trade deadline. Somebody out there must want this guy. Paired with Gallo, what could he bring?
Damned if I know. Trouble is, any team that would covet both Andujar and Gallo is probably still in the running for 2022. Thus, they won't give up a key player. As for teams who are out of the race? They certainly won't want Gallo, and they won't be drunken with lust for Miggy. So... dunno.
2. JP Sears. We saw what he did last night. He's been a revelation. Still, I get the feeling that his trade value will never, ever, be higher. He's 26 and clearly ready now. Also, the Yankees seem to have an abundance of young arms across their farm system. We certainly would not give up Sears for nothing. He would pair nicely with either Miggy or Gallo.
3. Gallo, of course. The guy needs to spend next winter retooling his swing. Many players, including JD Martinez and Justin Turner, saved their careers by going to so-called "swing doctors." Matt Carpenter did it last winter. But that won't help the Yankees move Gallo from his career nosedive.
Still, any trade of Gallo means the Yankees will surely improve. Few players can hit below .170.
4. A bullpen lug nut. Thinking Wandy Peralta, Albert Abreu, Lucas Luetge or Miguel Castro? It's not that we should deal them. But with the return of Aroldis Chapman, Domingo German and Jonathan Loaisiga, somebody's gotta go. I suspect the Yankees would be terrified of waiving any of these guys - wanna bet Boston or Toronto wouldn't grab them? But you can't keep everyone.
What do we need? Obviously, a LH outfielder to replace Gallo. Maybe a LH catcher, as Ben Rortvedt - who came from Minnesota in the Gary Sanchez deal - seems to be made of bone china. (He hasn't played in a week down in Tampa, another setback?) And pitching, pitching, pitching... but how about not another Sonny Gray?
There is also the clubhouse chemistry thing, and to be honest, this is where it's hard to gauge Gallo's role. He seems to be well-liked - which brokers the question: When you're 35 games over .500, how much do you want to change your team?
FWIW, unless the Phillies bowl us over with an offer, I suspect the Yankees won't do anything until after they've faced Boston, late next week, heading into the all-star break.
Full moons do bring out the craziness. Let's see what happens.