From today's NY Times, which today devoted almost the entire "game" story to the travails of The Master (Times readers are way, way too sophisticated to read about an actual game. Unless it's a game that involves mindlessly kicking a ball back and forth for 90 minutes.):
"He had cataract surgery last year to correct his vision, which had led to miscalculating some fly balls."
Of course! And having recently had such surgery myself, I can vouch for what a difference it makes.
Judging by how long John's been "miscalculating" fly balls, they must have been the size of houses and thick as Coke bottle bottoms by the time they came out.
But never mind. We're just glad they're out, and hope he has a nice rest at the end of his amazing, 5,060-game streak.
Incidentally, Spiro Malas—no, not the name of a Bond villain, but an opera singer and the star of the 1992 revival of "The Most Happy Fella," one of The Master's favorite shows, died yesterday at 86. Just a coincidence? Or was he hanging on for the end of the the great man's streak?
RIP, Spiro.
Friday, July 5, 2019
Of course! It was the cataracts!
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39 comments:
No disrespect meant to Spiro, but Robert Weede, another operatic singer, was the original star of the 1957 Broadway musical. Starring in a revival...that's kind of, yeah, so what.
I'm sure the Master is referring to the original production. He was a young guy then, probably knew all the words to "Watching All the Girls Go By," which was ubiquitous for a while when I was a kid. I think Mitch Miller's gang did a version, which no doubt my dad had. I have all his old LPs, but the Miller stuff is buried in the stacks and never played. Just Godawful stuff...LOL
"Watching All the Girls Go By,"
is that an early version of The Strangler's "Sitting on the beaches watching all the peaches"?
asking for a friend
JM,
Don't know if you've ever heard Mitch Miller's version of "Give Peace a Chance" but it is fantastic for all the right and wrong reasons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wpyxPxyPRo
Doug K.
Like The Master—and Calvin Coolidge—Mitch was born on the Fourth of July. Lived to be 99. May The Master's years be so long!
I, too grew up listening to all my father’s Mitch Miller and the Gang records. I loved them, and wanted to be in the “gang” when I grew up. I met Mitch in the 80’s when he was guest conducting an orchestra that I played in and told him of my childhood ambition to be part of his gang. He got a good laugh out of that. Nice guy, and great musician. And he conducted like a normal maestro would, not in that goofy fist bumping way that he did on the TV broadcasts: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9dY9gtYeHhk
Just follow the bouncing ball...
@Parson Tom...wrt the Stranglers...not exactly.
All quiet on the Western front, Tom.
Hoss, I guess that one should be, "Give Mitch a Chance?"
Stratman, I was in an accordion symphony as a boy. No lie. So I cannot criticize your early ambitions.
But for me, the main value of the Gang was that I learned a lot of old songs that haven't survived in our culture in the years since. Maybe that's partially why I have this weird cranial collection of trivia more appropriate for an 80 year old. Plus, my dad used to sing the Pepsi Cola radio jingle from his youth, now stuck in my head forever.
An actual 80 year old friend of mine calls his memory "A Cornucopia of Crap." I think that's what mine has become, too.
This is the last paragraph of the NYT’s article, quoting Mets announcer Howie Rose, ““I just hope, as a friend, assuming that he gets through this and gets back to good health, that he realizes that none of us have a license to live forever,” Rose said. “I just hope that, when the dust settles, that John is able to enjoy his life just as much away from the ballpark.”
Ya know what Rose? fuck you and your pretend sympathy. “Assuming he gets through this”??? Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
John has started time and again that his dream is to die broadcasting a game. Enjoy life away from the ballpark? That’s the only hope the Mets have got, you piece of shit. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Wow, that quote is a condescending load of donkey shit. Really offensive. The internet truly allows any asshole to say anything and almost guarantees he or she will have some kind of an audience. I guess that hell on earth is being paid to watch Mets games, whether he knows it or not.
There is more to life. Like your house burning down and losing 50 years of great memorabilia. If the man loves his work, he should work as long as he's able. Screwball.
One more reason to hate the mutts. I hate Rose more than my last boss for that diarrhea.
Another pitching duel. Stingy.
As a Yankee fan, I can state unequivocally that Sterling is not one tenth the play by play announcer that Howie Rose is. He was, is, and will always be an embarrassment. You guys who idolize him miss the whole point of this blog--it's a JAPE. The title of the blog quotes one of his most common mis-calls. He's a walking compendium of radiocasting ineptitude. And he's an abrasive jerk personally--when the Yankees tried to pair him with first-rate play-by-play partners like Joe Angel and Charlie Steiner, Sterling drove them away within a year. Steiner was only good enough to serve as Vin Scully's radio successor with the Dodgeers--but, evidently, not good enough to work with Sterling. If Hal weren't under the impression that his father had pledged a lifetime sinecure to Sterling sometime in the early nineties, "The Master" would have been cashiered long ago for blatant incompetence and runaway megalomania.
C'mon asshole.
Show up on August 12th. THEN trash the master.
See you there internet warrior.
I'm not much of a believer, but I can say unequivocally that one of the greatest sins is to take oneself too seriously. And one of the worst character flaws is to have no sense of humor.
You guys who idolize him miss the whole point of this blog--it's a JAPE.
All of us who follow this blog and contribute to it positively apologize to you for missing "the whole point".
As Rufus T. says above, please join us on August 12th. I know that one meeting is a "small sample size" but we'd all love to hear your views live and in person.
Yeah--you reflexive Sterling idolators DO miss the point. Just as you don't get the first thing about analytics. The beginning of wisdom is knowing what you don't know. And it's you dopes who lack a sense of humor about Sterling. You DO miss the whole point. You're witless morons who think that frat-house braying is just too clever and hilarious. Sorry--just deal with it.
LBJ--just to be clear: you don't make a single "positive" contribution to this blog. You're a fucking imbecile and a crude lout. Just to clarify the record.
Hey Dufus T. Firefly--this whole blog is about trashing Sterling. And "The Master" is an ironic put-down. And you're unbelievably stupid.
"I'm too hot
Call a police and a fireman
I'm too hot
Make a dragon wanna retire man"
Everything breaking right. Tauchman with a key hit?? Gardy with a three-run pop? Everybody playing out of their head in the field? Chapman gives up a line drive with the bases loaded...that goes right to the first baseman????
They were wondering on Sportsnite tonight if the Yankees were disappointed to be coming to the All-Star break, now that they are this hot.
I don't think they should be. You can't really GET much hotter than this; they are bound for a cooling off in any case. And Machine Gun seems to be running low on bullets. I think it's time he fakes an injury for the All-Star game.
And while it was great that Ma Boone stood up for The Gleyber, it's kind of a shame that he ended up getting picked. I want everybody fresh and ready for the second half!!
Well, we'll see....
And hey, we can only hope for the best for The Master. I'm inclined to give Howie Rose a break; people often express themselves badly in these situations, and maybe we don't know everything going on. It's possible Sterling is worse off than we know, and Rose has tried to talk him into retiring.
In any case, while I wish Michael Kay well, too, with his ailment, I was just thinking today how terrible it would if everyone in the booth becomes as bland and mediocre as Kay.
For baseball, in particular, you need some eccentricity.
Our Hideki Irabu is a mind reader now. Telling us all what we really think.
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
I just got off of my shift at The Pizza Pit. Mommy had a sandwich waiting for me in my basement apartment and I ate it. Then I picked my zits and changed out of my cool orange and red uniform. After I attempted to sooth my onanism, I decided the world should know of the depth of my baseball knowledge. I insult everyone, but claim I’m the one being picked on. I’m Stat Boy!®™, and the world should pay for me being such a loser!
I’m Stat Boy!®™
All Stat Boy!®™ rights officially licensed through TWW Enterprises, LLC. Distributed through FYH Productions, LLC.
Stat baby, we'd love to meet you. Please join us on August 12th. It'll be fun, especially if you can grow 1) a sense of humor, and 2) a pair of gonads, before then. It is obvious you have neither at the moment.
Dufus T Firefly--judging by your posts, if that's what you consider a sense of humor, I'll pass. Really, Dufus--don't flatter yourself. You're just a plodding little cipher.
Thanks for confirming you're a keyboard warrior, really a pussy in mommy's basement.
You refuse to obtain a sense of humor and are unable to grow a nut.
Dufus--you think your dull-witted groupthink drivel is "humorous"? That in itself is kind of funny, but in a purely pathetic way.
Once again:
Thanks for confirming you're a keyboard warrior, really a pussy in mommy's basement.
You refuse to obtain a sense of humor and are unable to grow a nut.
My offer is still good to pay for your ticket next month. Your mommy won't have to even increase your allowance in order to attend. You will need to verify your age to the beer vendors. You're on your own there.
Oh that's so HLIARIOUS, Dufus. Only someone without a sense of humor could fail to roar at such unlrelenting volleys of comic genius. YAWN.
So, you'll grow a nut and show up?
Or still hiding behind mommy's skirt?
https://www.neuticles.com/
You can buy a pair there, if you're unable to grow them.
Mommy's credit card will probably work. Just be sure to get her permission first.
Given your severe condition, I'd recommend the extra small gerbil size to start -- don't want to shock your system too much.
Dufus T. Benchley--one of the world's great humorists--if by humorist you mean compulsively recycling twenty-year-old flaming cliches from the Internet instead of having a life.
The pussy farts keep coming.
Showing up on the 12th, mama's boy?
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