On deadline day, the Gammonites go hysterical

Today, I'd like to break with our regular, Insta-Pot, oil-boiled torture of Brian Cashman.

Hoss, Alphonso, all of you... pull the red-hot spikes from his palms, yank the electrodes from his head, and sidetrack the army of voracious red ants headed his way. Let's give the guy a break. On this miserable, no-good, stressed-out, nightmare day, I say that Death Star fans across the Yankiverse should take pity on this sad husk of humanity, whom we mockingly call "Cooperstown."  

Today, whatever Cash does, the hordes of Hell will scream for his shaven head.

Today, he faces the unstoppable, unflappable Army of the Certain.

Today, this shrieking cacophony of sound bytes and headlines is demanding that Cashman trade Clint Frazier for somebody, anybody, to staunch the bleeding of a rotation on life-support. Not long ago, Frazier was a pillar of the Yankee future, a jewel of the farm system who - it deserves remembering - helped save the team this spring, when the batting order teetered on the brink. His numbers still beat those of Edwin Encarnacion, (though in an admittedly small sample size.) With Aaron Judge ever struggling - dare we think this is his new normal? - and Giancarlo Stanton proving to be the new Jacoby Ellsbury, the Yankees might soon need a solid, heart-of-the-order bat. But it won't be Red Thunder. By this time tomorrow, he'll be gone. If not, Cashman will face a hurricane of Gammonitic rage... a blast of wind that was strangely silent when Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner refused to pony-up for Dallas Keuchel. (Say, did I mention that his ERA with Atlanta is 3.89, lower than anybody on our rotation? And all we needed to do was spend the money.)

Last year, around now, everyone said the Yankees faced a glut of outfielders. We needed to trade for pitching. Thus, Cashman dealt Billy McKinney and Dustin Fowler, and the next thing we knew, we were playing a pivotal weekend series at Fenway with Shane Robinson, a minor league journeyman, in RF. (Note: He hit .143 for the year.) 

Today, interestingly, Frazier's trade will happen almost simultaneously to Luke Voit receiving an MRI. Last night, Luke tweaked his cabbage basket. Generally, that means missing a month. That will move DJ LeMahieu - also recovering from a tweak - and our gold glove DH, Edwin Encarnacion, to 1B. Add another tweak - and we know they're coming - and we'll soon see Tyler Wade out there. Wait a minute: He was out there last night. How about Ryan McBroom, up from Scranton? Can we trade for Shane Robinson?

Whatever the Yankees do today, it won't be enough. They have lost 6 of 9 and no longer possess the AL's best record - a/k/a the home field advantage. They still lead Tampa by 7.5 games, and Boston by nine. Barring a collapse - which might have started - they will make the post-season. From there, I can see one path to the World Series: If Luis Severino, Dellin Betances and Stanton return, and a few veteran starters - Tanaka, Happ, maybe Paxton - figure out what they're doing wrong. Will Robbie Ray make a difference? I doubt it. 

Ah, but should we care? Today, whatever happens, will it matter?