Tuesday, May 18, 2021

It's time to do something about Clint Frazier

If I were kidnapped, waterboarded and forced at gunpoint to sum up the 2021 Yankee season in one hard image, it would be Clint Frazier watching strike three float across  the plate like a Popeyes' chicken dinner.

It's a brain worm, a recurring loop, a form of PTSD that torments me in the night. It's the Babadook. Clint and I watch that ball together. Sometimes, it zips a corner of the zone. Sometimes, it just hangs in the air, the way the U.S. Navy describes UFOs, or historians describe the Spice Girls. But Frazier always watches. He doesn't swing. The ump calls him out. Then Clint trudges back to the dugout, looks to the skies, shakes his head and makes a grin-grimace, like Capt. Kirk surrounded by Tribbles. 

Once, he said something to the ump and got booted. Later, the Gammonites reported that Frazier's ejection was the first in his pro career, signifying an unprecedented slump. 

Last night, Clint came up with two outs and Brett Gardner on third, following an electrifying triple, the team's first of 2021. At this point, the game was within reach - considering that we were facing the second-worst starting pitcher in the AL, at least statistically. A single would bring us within a run. Clint assumed his stance and waited, and there it came - the Babadook - in the low-center of the zone. He looked to the heavens, shook his head and grin-winced. 

Frazier is hitting .151. He has 4 HRs, only 7 RBIs, and he has fanned 34 times, third on the Yankees, in 106 at bats. (I should note that he has 18 walks, also third on the team.) Among AL left-fielders, he ranks 23rd out of 25 in OPS. For a guy whose strength was supposed to be hitting, he has been a disaster. 

Time is running out. 

Soon, the Yankees must address the LF sinkhole, where nobody is hitting his weight. (Miguel Andujar is at .120 and Gardy, who is now in center, is .188.) The bottom third of the lineup has become an abyss, and Red Thunder is becoming The Scarlett K. Soon, as depressing as it sounds, Frazier - now 26 - might need to take his great potential to Scranton, to regain his stroke and confidence. He might need a new MLB city. This isn't working. 

For five years now, we've yearned for Frazier to get a shot. In the last two seasons, management always seemed to have higher priorities - Giancarlo Stanton and the Aarons - leaving number 77 an afterthought. It hurts to imagine him in another uniform. But June is around the corner. Unless Frazier starts hitting soon - like, now! - this mind-loop thing is getting us nowhere. 

I AM CALLING FOR A TARGETED JUJU INTERVENTION, BEGINNING TONIGHT, WHEN CLINT FRAZIER COMES TO BAT. WHEREVER YOU ARE, WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING, CEASE AND  DESIST, AND DIRECT ALL YOUR RIZZUTONIC FORCES INTO THE TELEVISION OR BROADCASTING DEVICE, WHICH WILL THEN BE CHANNELED TO THE OUTSKIRTS OF DALLAS, WHERE OUR TECHNICIANS WILL THEN ROUTE THE ENERGY INTO FRAZIER'S APPROPRIATE BODY PART. 

EACH TIME FRAZIER COMES UP, ASSUME YOUR JUJU STANCE AND PROPELL YOUR ENERGY FORCES IN THE DIRECTION OF TEXAS. IF YOU ARE NOT SURE WHERE TEXAS IS, GET A MAP. THIS IS NOT A TEST. THE FUTURE OF CLINT FRAZIER MAY DEPEND UPON WHAT YOU DO. SO, DAMMIT, DO SOMETHING! SWING, BATTAH!

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

I nominate "The Scarlet K" for moniker of the year!

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

The bottom line is, and we all know it... this is a horribly constructed team and is poorly run from the top down.

They are boring and pretty close to unwatchable.

Getting guys on first and second with no outs should be exciting. Instead I instinctively reach for something to read. Same with a guy on third with two outs.

Fire Marcus Thames. Trade em all. I don't have the energy for an intervention but I will go down to the local "stale candy emporium" and buy a box of Juju Bees and place it on top of the TV. I would eat them but I don't have a dental plan.


Doug K.

JM said...

The Washington Post actually covers baseball. Today, they had an article looking at the reasons for the sport's depressed offenses--pitchers have become too good, batters and their coaches saw elevation as a way to beat the shift (yeah, sure), strikeouts have gone up.

We all know about these factors. But the offensive fuses being blown by the Yankees this year are simply inexplicable. Sure, it's a long season, and you can't bury guys who have formerly been good hitters after less than two months. But as Bogart told Mary Astor at the end of The Maltese Falcon, when he ticked off the reasons why he should turn her in, there's so many of them.

I don't know anymore. It's a weird season so far. Maybe we should sign Kasper Gutman.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Doug...as a kid, I lost several fillings to Bonomo's Turkish Taffy. "You smack it and crack it. Oh, Oh, Oh it's Bonomo's -TURKISH TAFFY!". I hated Juju bees and Jujy Fruit wasn't much better. Now that I think about, Good and Plenty sucked too. At the movies, Goobers and Raisinettes were good as were Charleston Chews.

Back to Frazier: I've said for a while that they've screwed with his head so much that he's in-between. His stance at the plate makes him look like he's just about to take a crap. He's been scolded in the past that he isn't a team player so I'm sure that he feels he cant ignore the hitting coaches constant advice. A more established player would either wear ear plugs or politely tell them to fuck off.

At this point, having him try to work out his batting problems hurts both the team and Frazier. He needs to be shipped to extended training/Scranton where he can relax and figure things out.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


In order to be effective in directing my Rizzutonic forces, I have to say the words "Holy Cow" backwards 3 times, swing a chicken over my head, and pour some nice Chianti Classico Riserva on the ground (for Phil to consume).

I am unwilling to part with the wine...

Pgpick said...

What a shame…..the powers that be in NY have absolutely ruined what shudda, cudda been a great one. As much as I hate to say it, the time has come to set Clint free so he can become the all-star we should have had on our team.

An absolute textbook version of how to screw up a good player. Remember the Jaba rules?

Anonymous said...

Carl,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jpw64PkCJn8

Although I was more of a "Bo No and Mo here" guy.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

As I have stated before, can't we trade Frazier to Ptt; perhaps for young pitchers like the ones which we sent to them for Tally?
Perhaps Andujr too, maybe to the Twins or the Nats for young pitchers.
KC or Maybe Colo. or Arizona
BLOWUP THIS INWATCHABLE TEAM.
So saith The Archangel

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'll put the rabbit ears on my jackalope and pop open a dublin based beverage and look in the generally southern direction (I think Texas is somewhere south of here). I Don't have any chianti, so I'll have to settle for old vine zinfandel as a followup. As long as I don't have to sacrifice a goat. I mean, they smell really bad after a couple of hours. And attract coyotes. Or so someone told me.

The bird Braintrust has destroyed too many young hitters. Can't we call child protective services on them? I mean it *is* child abuse.

Anonymous said...

It's not witchcraft: Frazier is just not a very good baseball player. The Indians knew this, traded him, and never looked back. Stop worrying about him coming into his own for another team. Similar fears are why Cashman has been unwilling to make important trades. NY has one pennant in the last 17 years, one division in the last seven, and are currently in 4th place. They are what they are and we know who to blame!

-Melquíades

ranger_lp said...

Is it safe to day that we wont see number 77 in Monument Park? Ever?

TheWinWarblist said...

Pants at the ready, but it's pointless. Clint Frazer and this Yankee team really suck. It's just a matter of time until we hear, "Down goes Frazer! Down goes Frazer!" He'll be heading to Area 51 before you know it.

TheWinWarblist said...

I don't even care how his fucking name is spelled.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Doug...I kinda remember that commercial or one that was similar.
I bet that boy died in a rice paddy in Nam and the girl became a cocaine/meth addict from all the sugar in that candy. Who knew Bonomo's was a gateway confectionery?

Alphonso said...

You haven't even mentioned the idiotic base running gaffs this player makes.

He has made two great catches ( at least )...I give you that. But he oftentimes tales a poor angle on the ball, and when he has unleashed a throw with purpose, more often than not it is headed for Mars.

The guy is awful and Boone should make a change. But...to whom?

The Yankees won't bring up a young guy...witness the Ryan La Marre experiment....Gardy is already in retirement and losing a step a day....and Judge is a tweak away from IL. Tauchman was dealt just at the wrong time...and we can't even think about Giancarlo ( if/when "healthy") as an outfield option. I mean Tyler Wade will be next.

I am reaching the point where I want a complete collapse so everyone gets fired.

And there were signs of this last night, in Texas.


Carl J. Weitz said...

Alphonso....don't hold your breath for a firing of the Bloated front Office. Even a full collapse will do nothing. Hal doesn't give a shit as he's too busy yachting and playing polo. He makes billions regardless of what place the Yankees finish. And most likely Randy Levine or Lon Trost have some incriminating tax scam evidence, ala Donald Trump, in a very secure place as insurance.

ranger_lp said...

@Alphonso...Tauchman is batting .212 in SF...he's not exactly lighting it up there either...LaMarre is a placeholder for Florial "if and when he's ready." Hopefully Florial catches a bottle of lightning (and I don't mean moonshine) and he contributes in the majors sooner than later.

Anonymous said...

As others have noted, the Yankees need to trade Frazier. They have destroyed him mentally and emotionally. He will never thrive in a Yankee uniform. As for Melquiades, look at Frazier's numbers last year and learn how to read.

Anonymous said...

Learn how to be polite.

Anonymous said...

Oh really--your admonitions apply only to me, not to the half dozen other scurrilous insult artists who happen to share your distaste for analytics and your ass-kissing of duque. Duly noted, Parson!

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