That's basically the Yankiverse right now.
Back in November, we weighed the possibilities of Didi Gregorius returning to the Death Barge in 2022. It made sense because: He bats LH, he's at the end of a three-year deal, he's a former Yank fan favorite, and Philly has seen enough.
Some problems: Last year, Sir Didi was one of the legitimately worst shortstops - if not players - in the game. He hit .209, and if you remember, he's famous for drawing few walks. In three weeks, he'll turn 32, and the last year he clocked more than 130 games was 2018.
So, here we are again, pondering The Didi Witch Project - a big, giant, haunted part of the woods. If we get him, we could face huge problems. If we don't, well, we gotta get somebody.
It's the same story with Gary Sanchez at catcher.
It's the same story with Luke Voit at first base.
It's the same story with Aaron Hicks, or Estevan Florial, or Dopey Dildox - whomever will play centerfield.
We are screwed, especially if the owner refuses to budge from the luxury tax austerity, with which he has achieved a comfortable and profitable peace.
So, have at it, everybody: Scream at the trees. We're stuck in this forest and walking in circles, getting nowhere.
For the Yankees to trade their way out of this fix - and to win the brutal AL East - they'll have to basically run the table on deals. Somehow, Brian Cashman will have to receive incredible returns for players whose deficiencies are Jumbotron fodder in the game's biggest market.
Yep, here were are, once again weighing the notion of Sir Didi in pinstripes. Well, why not? The Phillies can't expect much in return - a Ben Gamel or a Brigadoon Refsnyder. And maybe - just maybe - it's time to float the idea that 2022 will be a rebuild, that the skill positions on this team - C, SS, CF - have run their courses, and those twig sculptures we keep encounter in the trees are signs of a disturbing fate.
Right now, the Yankiverse is like a zit about to pop. Hopes run high that the owners and players will miraculously settle their differences. (In fact, they remain on a course toward delaying spring training, if not the season.) Then, in a span of maybe two weeks, the Yankees will somehow peel off an incredible series of heists, receiving great young players for the dregs of our recent past. We act like this isn't the Blair Witch Forest. It's Ferngully!
But hey, I say let's get Didi. Why not? If we're gonna suck - and we just might - there's something to be said for at least liking the guys. Hey, is Brigadoon free?
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One of my favorite old Lampoon cartoons was a beggar with a sign that read, "I am blind and my dog is dead." Yes the drawing showed the dog lying on the ground in front of him.
Welcome to the 2022 Yankees. Also blind, also with a dead dog.
JM - That's a great one.
I always liked the one in a restaurant where the special of the day is, "Frog's Legs" and there's a live legless frog rolling out of the kitchen using a "Porgy and Bess" style cart.
How does this relate to the Yankees?
Uh, (cough), uh, the Frog's Leg special is overpriced just like the food at the stadium... (Whew!)
I love Didi, and wish him well in another club's uniform. Or? Perhaps he could attach a pan to a sign and bang it with a greasy spoon at ever home game? Didi Sez?
I never saw that one, JM. I will look for it.
On of my Lampoon faves was on a related topic. It showed a blind man begging and holding a vacuum cleaner by the cord. His sign read: "I’m blind and my dog has asthma."
Killed me.
If your central posit is that we will suck with or without Didi, then I agree. Perhaps missing the postseason is a necessity to awaken Steinbummer from his slumber; He’ll surely miss those playoff bucks.
Born To, I am afraid that missing profits are the only thing that motivates that fuckface.
That is a great one, Local Bargain Jerk
All great ones. And then there's the one of the duck seated at a nice executive desk, in a corner office. He's thinking, "Not bad—for a duck!"
Always reminds me of Brian Cashman, somehow.
They ALMOST have no choice but to sign Didi, if they are not going to sign Carlos Correa, which they won't.
The Yankees' calculations now go beyond stupidity, to some new, previously uncharted realm of mental inanity. If they were really planning all along NOT to bid on any of the big class of shortstops, but try to develop from within, the natural play was to keep both Tyler Wade and Anthony Velazquez, two young, very cheap, good gloves at the position.
Instead...they dumped them both. For literally nothing. And now...so they could bring back an older, worse player for much more money.
Fans are hoping for the negotiations to end soon? I keep hoping for them to go on for another year or two. It is the only thing that will rid us of this awful family in our lifetimes.
If there's no baseball season in 2022, and they sign Didi, will a tree still fall in the forest?
Hee-hee! And the answer is yes. Due to climate change!!!
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