As we all know the trade deadline has passed and stunningly
(unless you’ve been paying attention) Cashman actually made the team worse and in the process, destroyed their chemistry and demoralized the team and their fans.
I still can’t believe the traded Waldichuck and Sears. Two
guys who could have fixed the bullpen this year and replaced Tallion and
German next year. Just nuts.
So, no trades and we’re still two weeks away from any roster
expansion. No one is firing Brain or Boone and there’s no way that Hal will
sell the team so what should they do?
Imagine a hopped-up Boone going all Billy Martin on Gleyber
when he runs into outs on the bases. Or screaming at Hicks when he lollygags a
throw and allows a runner to take and extra bases. Or just pushing Donaldson
out of the way and grabbing a bat with two on and the Yankees down two in the ninth!
Or, just give him meth. As a manager I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have to do the drug test thing.
Bring Up The Oswalds
The team needs a shot in the arm. Who is better at shooting than an Oswald? We need situational hitting. He managed to hit a president (twice!) A governor, a traffic sign and a curb… All in eleven seconds.
Apparently, we have two Oswalds. I keep getting confused as
which one is which, so I say bring them both up and let G-d sort em out.
We Need A New Closer
Yesterday Boone said that he is going to rotate closers
bringing up the old adage, “If you have more than one closer you don’t actually
have one.”
Here are his current choices.
Not only will she get Altuve out she will go medieval on his ass.
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19 comments:
God, this team is fucked up.
Don't worry Zac Britton, Severino & Stanton are almost back. My guess is we see Jesus before any of them.
Brilliant, Doug!
I love the Oswald idea. (And hey, is it just me, or does the Oswald on the left look a little like A-Rod? Just saying!)
Sears has already had a start in Oakland, and did all right: 5 1/3, 2 earned runs, 3 Ks.
And again, looking for a closer? Since going to the Phillies at the trade deadline, David Robertson:
4 appearances
4 innings
1 hit
1 walk
5 strikeouts
0 runs
2 saves
Think we could've used him about now?
As a friend of mine says, this team is just reverted to mean. It is what most of us thought it was, before an incredible first half of pitching. Now it's rapidly falling back to earth. The Cashman deals exacerbated this, but the team he had was not a winner in the first place.
Guaranteed solution to Yankee woes:
1. Bring up Florial and give him regular playing time--mothball Hicks to make room.
2. EVERYBODY BUNTS--at least nine bunts per game, and that includes that slacker Judge, who swings for the fences on nearly every pitch in the strike zone. Not exactly Ty Cobb's idea of a real ballplayer--he had contempt for the Babe for same reason. Time to party like it's 1909!
Here's an idea instead.
Gleyber Torres should hit leadoff.
No? No one likes that?
Well, that's what Boone is going with tonight.
?
Zach, you obviously don't understand the Solomonic wisdom of Brian Cashman.
No doubt, he has been reading the bitter arguments about the lineup here on IIHIIFII...C, and decided to go with the equivalent of Solomon's, "Fine, we'll split the baby in half!"
That is, "Fine, we'll have the man who can't possibly reach base lead-off. Satisfied?"
Unlike the women in the parable, though, none of us get a chance to step forward and say, 'No, no, that's fine! Judge can bat 2nd! Just no Gleyber lead-off!'...
Good Golly Gosh Yankees Fans!
It now appears that David John LeMahieu has a Toe problem.
No one seems too concerned.
Bubblicious Boonester says it's really nothing.
Toe Fungus and Athlete's Foot symptoms are often cured in the Yankee Clubhouse by MRIs.
These nasty critters can't take the magnetic imaging and often explode into thousand of tiny particles which are immediately wiped up with pinstriped sanitary wipes.
So Good Golly Gosh you Yankee fans - don't you worry your little heads off about losing "one of the last offensively productive bats" in our anemic lineup.
The NY Yankees will be fine.
Next stop - 100 WINS!
...And speaking of which, didn't that story always confuse you back in Sunday school?
One of the women was really willing to take the severed half of a baby? Why would that have been? And wasn't Solomon awfully lucky there, that she was?
I mean, why did that necessarily prove the other woman was the mother? What if the baby-snatching woman had just said, "Ooh, gross, no, what good does that do me? Give it to her, if that's the alternative!"
Where would Solomon have been then? Was he going to a spelling test next? Did he call for the one who was willing to take the half-a-baby to be immediately arrested? (He should have!)
And just what was going on in ancient Jerusalem that women were bopping in and out of houses, taking other people's children? How did all this get to the king, anyway?
Afterwards, did he turn to the Sadducees or the Pharisees and say, "Guys, really, this has to come to me? You can't work this out on your own? I got the Philistines acting up again, I got the Queen of Sheba coming in next week, I don't have time for this sort of nonsense!"
Inquiring minds want to know!
But I digress.
Short of another major injury to his muscle bound torso, the Yankees will never be rid of the Hicks millstone because Cashman can never admit that he's WRONG about anything
@Hoss, I think the plan was to cut the baby longitudinally in half, instead of at the waist. So one woman gets the left side, the other woman the right side. He took a chance that the real mother would object first and offer to give up her half. If neither mother objected and the baby got cut in half, well, he would say that the King has got better things to do than to adjudicate this kind of squabble. That should prevent similar squabbles from coming to him in the future.
Judge should have bunted. If he had, the Yankees would be up 1-0 now.
O'neill says its cleat toe.
You'd be wrong. Jesus appeared in my morning steamed latte.
I mean you are right!!
I say we bring up the Mexican look-alike Oswald before we bring up the Dallas Oswald.
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