At one point, Jeter starts listing the big fish that got away: 2001 with Arizona, 2004 (shudder), the 2003 World Series against the Marlins...he's not yet finished when he stops and sort of half-apologizes for being so obsessed.
No need to apologize, Mr. Derek. This is why we love you. This is why we watch the games/movies/shows/whatever. For the great ones who care, no matter how silly it may seem. Who accomplish great things because they DO care.
Unfortunately, this episode also includes the great Jeter-Cashman negotiation for a new contract. Something else that Jeets is definitely NOT over. According to his version, he was perfectly willing for the negotiations—following the 2010 season—to get as nastyasyouwannabe, just so long as they stayed PRIVATE.
Of course, they didn't.
EVERYTHING came out, including the infamous moment when an exasperated Jeter asked The Brain to name a shortstop he would rather have, and the Cooperstown Kid promptly named Troy Tulowitski and Hanley Ramirez. After which Jeter and his agent stomped out, and Jeets never seems to have much talked to Cashie again...save to slip the permanent millstone around our necks that is Giancarlo Stanton.
Cashman, of course, remains quite proud of himself about the negotiation—as he is about the Stanton fiasco.
It's what his game is all about. Our desktop Machiavelli never REALLY intended to skin that smoke wagon and see what happened, as they say in Tombstone. No way was he going to let Derek skip off to Boston or anywhere else, out of fear for his life.
And for that matter, there was no indication that Ramirez or Tulowitski were even available. That wasn't remotely the point. The point was to make himself, Cashman the Lord Humungus, look like a hard ass to his boss, HAL, and his innumerable sycophants in the New York press corps:
"Hey, I went toe-to-toe with Derek Jeter!"
It was a classless move, the worst dissing of a Yankees superstar since the drunken sot, Larry MacPhail tried to peddle away Joe DiMaggio.
But...and here's the weird...and, hang on, also relevant part!...it wasn't ALL bluster. As we later got to see, Brian Cashman really did think that Troy Tulowitski was the cat's meow.
Hence poor Troy's sad, awful, last five games of his career in Yankee Stadium, years after Cashie's blustering, tough-guy threat.
Cashman really did think he was better than Jeter. He had failed, once again, to do so simple an analysis as to look at the Home/Away split on baseballreference—figures that would have shown him that Troy was no more than another Rocky Mountain creation, a chimera away from the fine, thin air of Denver.
(Much as his similar negligence to look at how Frankie Montas pitches outside the wide open spaces of Oakland-Alameda County Stadium is going to doom us to yet another awful, Cashman starter.)
Which leads us to the shortstop who The Brain selected to be HIS Jeter, the rock on which he would found his very own, Cashman Dynasty, once Jeets had retired and Coops had finished unceremoniously shoving the likes of Bernie Williams and Jorge Posada off the team.
Awful as the other Cashastrophes (get it?)
of this slough have been, all the complete (and highly predictable) meltdowns of Hickses and Donaldsons and Falafels, it is Torres, the heir apparent, who has been the quiet killer.
After two years of appalling, inexplicable backsliding in 2020-2021, during which time The Gleyber compiled something three times more errors than home runs, it looked as if maybe he had turned it around (somewhat) this season, when he was allowed to go back to second base.
(Yes, Coops' shortstop a de future, it turned out, could not actually play shortstop.)
But then Torres went bust, slowly at first, then all at once, as Hemingway didn't quite write. Since June 19th, nearly 2 months now, Gleyber has all of 3 HRs and 15 ribbies, and has struck out nearly four times as often as he's walked. His top batting average dropped from .275 to .249, his OPS from .837 to .742.
The all-at-once started 14 games ago. Since then, The Gleyber has gone 10-58 (.172), with all of 3 doubles, 0 home runs, and 2 ribbies. Even more remarkably, Torres has exactly 1 walk and 22 strikeouts in that time. And of course, he capped this streak off with a crucial double-play and another strikeout last night.
Oy. Well, 'nuf red about poor Gleyber, a likable enough lad even if he does seem to have constant trouble paying attention to what he does for a living. (Unlike, say, a certain other, obsessive shortstop we remember.)
(Incidentally, the above is a sample of Gleyber Torres wallpaper. I would advise waiting a few more weeks before purchasing. I imagine the price is dropping quickly.)
Point is that it is not as easy as Mr. Cashman might think—still seems to think, remarkably enough, after 25 years—to find the rock-solid ballplayer, the killer competitor, the devoted CHAMPION who can lead a team to a World Series win. (Much less five of them.)
Brian Cashman is an office hustler who has been hustling for so long that he has actually convinced himself he knows what he is doing. He doesn't.
Hal Steinbrenner makes a couple of appearances in this episode of The Captain—mostly to joke about how when Derek Jeter called to tell him that he would be retiring, HAL didn't recognize the number (a firing offense under Daddy, but never mind). Since then, he tells us, he has put the name "Derek Jeter" in for that number, in great big letters.
Hal, when this season crashes and burns—as it's about to, perhaps as no other quite ever has—and you want to pick up the pieces, don't go and do the comfortable thing. Don't go and simply sign up for another two or three or four years of the same old hustle. Have one-tenth of the...shall we say, audacity your father did, and call that number. The one attached to this guy, your next general manager.
He won't bring you Troy Tulowitski.
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23 comments:
Hoss, that would be a fabulous idea, to bring in Derek Jeter as our new GM! I take it he's finished with the Marlins. Must have been disgusted by the lack of urgency to build a winner there.
But therein lies the conundrum. Like the Miami Marlins, who seem to be treading water, the New York Yankees are doing the same thing. Seems like HAL has many other priorities than winning a championship.
The demotion of guys like Schmidt and Marinaccio offer clues as to what the Yankees are trying to do. It may be trying to control guys for an extra year or two before they turn free agents six years after they come up and qualify as rookies. Could be trying to save some pennies. Or it could be that they deliberately try for mediocrity, that they don't even want to win. The demotion of these guys, in favor of Lou Trivino and Abreu, can't be explained by simple stupidity. Because everyone has seen that Schmidt and Marinaccio are much better than Trivino and Abreu. So it's not just stupidity. Management has other priorities that are directing their actions.
I don't know that Jeter would be any happier here than he was in Miami. And for that matter, I think HAL is happy with Cashman, happy with mediocrity, for whatever reasons of his own. So even if there's another historic collapse this year, Cashman ain't going anywhere.
Never underestimate the role of stupidity in human affairs, Hammer.
But...I fear you are right. HAL is all about the money—and about making it in the most cautious, risk-free way conceivable. Cashman is perfect for him, maintaining this endless status quo of not-quite-enough.
Our only hope, I think, is that the crash this year promises to be bigger than ever before. The irony is that Cashman may be undermined by his own success earlier this season. Another Yankees failure is going to be a huge disappointment.
What HAL doesn't understand about the team he inherited, I think, is how much of its brand is success. As someone was saying, this isn't just the Olde Towne Team, win or lose, they're our boys.
These are the New York Yankees, the greatest sports franchise in North America, maybe the world. In a city that prides itself on being the greatest city. If this team crashes the way as it looks it will now, everyone will be baying for Coops' head.
Oh, and if it ever were offered to him, I think Jeets would accept the challenge.
First, because it's the Yankees. His team.
Second, because he COULD work within HAL's parameters, which are much more reasonable than that of those con artists who own the Marlins.
And most of all, because he would LOVE sticking it to Brian Cashman.
I think we have to start raising the idea!
Perhaps we should write a letter to HAL, listing all of Brain's stupid mistakes, ask for his release, and advising the hiring of Jeter. But if HAL hires Jeter, then the Yankees might actually win. That might not be what HAL wants.
Indeed!
Incidentally, today marks the 27th anniversary of The Mick's passing.
I can just hear Boone's clubhouse speech now: 'You know, Mantle said, just before his death, 'Someday when things are wrong and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go in their and win one for The Mick.' Then he said, 'Now go get me another scotch!'"
HC 666
You inspired me to cash up my avatar agains . . . that said:
Last night when Donaldducksuckson appeared to slide under the tag but was called out to end the inning (he looked safe to me and David Cone, who called it a phantom tag) he frantically signaled to the dugout to have the call on the field reviewed.
Cut to a medium close up of Blow me some bubbles Boone in the dugout turning to his left and telling one of his coaches to get on the phone to inquire whether to challenge the call or not.
They cut away for a second to something else and then back again to the same shot of Hubba Bubba Boone turned to his left. The coach hangs up the phone, turns to Commander Bubbles, shaking his head saying NO.
Professor Tooth Decay turns back to the field and blasts out a not so successfully restrained F U C K!
Runner was safe (go back and take a look if you want to) but SOMEBODY upstairs chose not to appeal the call for some reason.
It really pissed off Doctor Boone.
In that moment I smelled a rat in a pinstriped hat and thought of all the well-balanced theories circulating around here about how HAL and CASH don't actually want to win.
And it was then that I knew we would lose last night.
Time for another cup of Above Average coffee.
I L-U-V the idea of DJ as GM. HAL would never go for it, like all money grubbers he is fearful of any fresh idea lest it upset the Apple cart.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, another shit lineup with Donaldson 4th, Torres 5th, IKF and the human L-Z boy recliner, Hicks at the bottom.
In the midst of all his usual bullshit and blather, last night Boone informed us that there was “no timetable” for Stanton’s return. Draw your own conclusions.
Serious (uh-oh!) question: Do you think Boone is actually filling out the lineup card, or is it passed down by anal-lytics, Cashman or some other front office hobgoblin?
BTR999 -
Sorta my point as well.
I think the short answer is - YES - Anal-lytics and Cashman approve the lineup. BoomBoomBubbleTantrumBoyBoone might actually grab a pen and fill it out - but under the strict oversight and approval of the front (or should I say REAR) orifice.
Let's break out the booze, and have a ball.... Oh,where was I? Hoss, you don't suppose that Torres, who I've come to loathe, is hurt, do you? That is a huge crash, no?
You know, he could be Kevin—and if so, I apologize. I always felt a LITTLE bad about Sanchez, because it appeared that they hung him out to dry (and to play) at times when he was seriously hurt.
But, after a while, we realized that he just sucked.
I suppose that could be the case with The Gleyber, too. Though it was also very interesting listening to Jeter talk last night about how, "There's no 80 percent. You're able to play or you're not."
When he was hurt—and he admitted, he should have sat down—he was visibly limping on the field. Unless Torres is that hurt...
We really ought to make it a thing: DJ for GM, DJ for GM, DJ for GM.
And Derek WOULD accept the payroll limits and all that. Still, I guess, the lurking fear in the back of HAL's reptilian brain is that Jeter would develop so much real talent on the farm that it would bloom into guys who eventually want to be paid, as 999 and Hammer imply.
I suspect that Coops does NOT actually inspect each lineup. I remember that, when he first interviewed Boone, he was thrilled that Boone—in the hypotheticals he was given, such as lineups—did everything EXACTLY as Cashie wanted it.
Always the sign of the secure, capable executive: hire advisors who think exactly the same way you do.
I agree that Coops does NOT actually inspect each lineup.
But the marching orders are understood.
Plans upon plans upon plans are in place.
Boone will not deviate from the Oversight team's mandate.
I can’t believe I’m going to listen to tonight’s game. I must hate myself.
Get ready for a non-stop blast of baseball bliss!!!
I started a game day thread.
What the fuck is wrong with Torres. Such terrible baserunning. Just unbelievable.
And there it is!
If you are suggesting Derek as GM, fine. I wish Derek owned the Yankees. He would never except this bullshit like Cheapskate Hal does.
Fire Levine. Cash takes his place. Hire Jeter as GM and Mattingly as manager.
Does Jeter still own a piece of the Marlins? If so, he can't work for the Yankees.
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