By now, you've probably heard Michael Kay's viral rant about some obscure, low-level Yankee schlub, who scored the job of Yankee "Mental Skills" coach. (What's next, an emotional comfort dog?) To restore hope - while down 3-0 to Houston - this well-meaning grunt put together a video of the 2004 Redsocks, rallying against You Know Who.
And I must admit, this does sound Kanye Crazy - the gold-standard of nuts - unless you realize how much the world needs "FEVER PITCH II," where Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore, as divorced 40 somethings living in Manhattan, who get back together to watch the miracle Yanks... no, I cannot finish this fantasy; it hurts too much, but you get the picture, right?
Well, the video didn't go over well with Kay, who thundered indignation about it for a solid 30 minutes on his daily blood-pressure-rousing radio show. Imagine James Corden in a slow Taco Bell. Some intern popped a quick blast onto Twitter, saying Kay "DESTROYS THE YANKEES" over the low-hanging fruit of some poor, low-management schmuck who must now eat all the mistakes of 2022, like the trainers and coaches of the past.
Kay is on a roll, thanks to the Yankees. His last viral blast involved Aroldis Chapman's infected tattoo. The Yankees have no closer, but they always field a scapegoat - and it's never someone at a management level that could make a difference.
Listen: I'm all for Kay, or anyone, ripping the Yankees for the woeful end to this sad, disappointing season. But the roots of the 2022 debacle flow directly through Food Stamp Hal Steinbrenner's's office, and any release of bile needs to include Hal's name.
Never forget: In the winter of 2019, Bryce Harper came to NYC, cap in hand, looking to shave his beard, cut his hair, and fulfil a lifelong dream of playing for the Yankees. Hal never made an offer. Know why? Because the owner was terrified that Harper might accept it.
Same winter, Manny Machado also came to town, at the request of his wife, a native NYer. Same thing. The Yankees never made an offer. Too risky. He might say yes.
That year, the Yankees fielded a rather low-budget lineup - for them, anyway - with young and cheap Gary Sanchez, Gleyber Torres, Mike Tauchman, Luke Voit, Miguel Andujar and Aaron Judge. But not cheap enough. Hal pointed to the contract of Giancarlo Stanton, which meant the Yankees could not afford another high-priced star.
Since then, Harper and Machado have proven to be worth every penny they were paid, while they Yankees have run merry-go-rounds at 3B and LF. Next year, counting the 2024 buyout, which they will surely make, the Death Barge will end up paying Josh Donaldson $27 million to play 3B. I wonder if he'll hit .200.
I realize that decisions always look easy in retrospect, and it's easy to pick out bad deals or trades and then scream holy hell. On that note, I'll wait patiently for Mr. Kay to address the Yankee owner. Surely, the fact that the Steinbrenner family employs Kay will not dull the sharpness of his righteous tongue, am I right?
Also, while I have you: Here's to Ted Cruz attending a Phillies game! Make it happen, fates!
7 comments:
To coin a phrase;
FUCK HAL
to the nth. degree
He may have passed Dolan as the most hate NYC owner.
At least Dolan tries. The Knicks and Rangers are currently very entertaining teams, probably moving in the right direction.
Dolan just doesn't appear to be that gifted in critical thinking.
Hal, on the other hand, is pure evil. Combination of Scrooge McDuck and Dr. Doom.
Well, at least the bondholders are well taken care of.
Kay is a corporate shill. End of story.
Pocket the money, Hal.
The mental skills guy was trying to teach the team how to manipulate opposing players with telekinesis. Supposedly he's a graduate of the Kreskin School for Making Things Move Around and Bend.
It's not an easy skill to learn, so I think Kay was far too hard on the guy. If they keep doing the exercises over the long winter, we may be ready to dominate next year.
Looking forward to Altuve doing the marionette dance.
Mental skills guy is a scapegoat. Like the training staff was a couple years ago. Like Marcus Thames was last year. Pathetic leadership in that organization.
They never needed a mental skills coach. They needed a competent hitting coach and a competent pitching coach. They needed a competent manager and a competent GM. And most of all, they needed a competent owner who would authorize and direct his GM to do the necessary things to maximize their chances of winning, not rot into oblivion with dead wood and dead arms.
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